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You are here: Home / Jokes / Clean Jokes / Top 10 Sarcastic Dares

Top 10 Sarcastic Dares

April 1, 2009 by JoeHumor 54 Comments

Sarcastically speaking, I dare you to do some of the things found on my top ten list.

10. Pull into a gas station and use the window washer to wash your entire car.

Joe Humor9. Ask a bank teller to break a $100 bill for you. Then when asked how you want it done say, “in hundreds”.

8. Call a political candidate’s campaign office and ask them for a donation to your non-candidacAy.

7. Ask a security guard how it feels knowing that in all the action movies the security guards are always the first to die.

6. When you get credit card offers in the mail, stuff the prepaid envelopes with toilet paper and mail them back. (whether you use new or used toilet paper is totally up to you.)

5. Call your bank and ask them to add your checking account onto the $700 billion government bail out plan.

4. Find someone who is big into worrying about the threat of global warming, remind them of their own carbon dioxide and body heat contribution to the planet, and ask them to stop it.

3. Ask a judge if you can get away with murder as long as you can convince a jury of your peers ahead of time that it is justified.

2. Send a bill to every TV station, radio station, cell phone company, and satellite company, charging them an “access fee” for the waves they broadcast through your property. If they refuse payment, charge them with trespassing.

And the #1 Sarcastic Dare…

1. Circulate a petition to put “intelligent human beings” on the endangered species list.

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Filed Under: Clean Jokes, Jokes, One Liner Jokes

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Comments

  1. F&J Staff says

    April 1, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    Thanks to “Joe Humor” for submitting this!

    Reply
  2. IrritatedOyster says

    April 1, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    Hehhh, kinda lame, but they were still funny πŸ˜›

    Reply
  3. Franci says

    April 2, 2009 at 1:42 am

    number 7 was good

    Reply
  4. Squirt says

    April 3, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    haha lol . i loled so hard

    Reply
  5. melissa says

    April 3, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    #1 is the best!!!!!

    Reply
  6. Balderdash says

    April 5, 2009 at 8:47 am

    The deeds are so ingenius, I might consider embarking the last three of the list. Brilliant! Only an egghead can conjure these ideas. Thanks a lot!

    Reply
  7. moe says

    April 7, 2009 at 3:14 am

    lol, enjoyable

    Reply
  8. poo says

    April 7, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    no 3

    Reply
  9. FunnyVuvu says

    April 11, 2009 at 6:53 am

    trying some funny

    Reply
  10. THE GOOFENECK says

    April 13, 2009 at 3:16 am

    I tried number 6 and got a reply….court order

    Reply
  11. OldSchoolBurnout says

    April 14, 2009 at 9:54 am

    Thanks GOOFENECK for letting me know… i was going to try my self XD

    Reply
  12. Mss.RainbowPriss says

    April 20, 2009 at 7:49 am

    haha that was great =]
    I like 10 and 7.
    number 1 was pretty good though

    Reply
  13. winnie says

    April 22, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    some were funny some were meh not bad

    Reply
  14. joshua says

    May 4, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    haha i liked the last one

    Reply
  15. Ryu says

    May 13, 2009 at 10:10 am

    This was HILARIOUS XD
    I’m gonna tell my friend to ask a security guard that question! πŸ™‚

    Reply
  16. the Sprinsk says

    May 14, 2009 at 10:21 am

    its the sprinsk here!

    Reply
  17. Merve says

    June 5, 2009 at 3:01 am

    Teeheehee.
    I like number 2.
    Charge them with tresspassing lol.

    Reply
  18. Deanna says

    June 9, 2009 at 12:26 am

    haha i started an email for number one…. lolnessful!! :D……. D x

    Reply
  19. Fxck this site says

    June 9, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    I dare you to come up with something funny!

    Reply
  20. sara says

    June 17, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    ima try numbr one

    Reply
  21. ~Random~ says

    July 3, 2009 at 10:00 am

    Hey I have a joke.

    Q:How many Princesses does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A:None, They have people to do it for them!! Haha

    C’mon people have a sence of humor these are the funnies!! Lmao!

    Reply
  22. Sniff says

    July 10, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    Oh deary me, can you be much tamer. How about running up to a beefeater and slapping him (he’s legally allowed to shoot you for distracting him then)
    Lunge wildy towards the pope and or scale the vatican. Walk into a bank, and ask for a 20 from pennies (or whatever you americans have as equivalents)

    Reply
  23. laura says

    July 12, 2009 at 11:45 pm

    hahaha i accually have done number 10.they didnt seem to care. . . defantly doing it again . . . . ha

    Reply
  24. J says

    July 14, 2009 at 1:05 am

    I.m definately doing number six…ha ha there all pretty neat…

    Reply
  25. Brandon says

    August 11, 2009 at 1:18 am

    i actually did number 10 once. my friend spilled ketchup all over it. lol

    Reply
  26. Jamesterr says

    August 13, 2009 at 8:54 am

    lmfao. Those were pimp.

    Reply
  27. emo says

    August 22, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    i did #7 and # 10 before it was funny cuz my friends got so emarassed when i did # 10 and the guard started laughing his pants off πŸ˜€ lolzzzzz

    Reply
  28. chon says

    September 16, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    real #1
    goto compton and eat all of the fried chicken and stick around and see what the porchmonkeys’ll do

    Reply
  29. OldSchoolBurnout says

    September 16, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    Hey chon why don`t you keep your racist jokes to your self, that comment is by far the most disrespectful and distasteful i`ve ever read in my life.

    Reply
  30. odwa says

    September 17, 2009 at 6:19 am

    yeh i guess it was kinda good

    Reply
  31. ncore360 says

    September 17, 2009 at 6:20 am

    yeh well kinda anyway

    Reply
  32. bish says

    September 23, 2009 at 5:44 am

    FUNNY! Loved #7!

    Reply
  33. Heather says

    September 23, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    I wld so do # 10!! Lol

    Reply
  34. Tra says

    October 30, 2009 at 11:01 am

    number one is insulting! πŸ™ but oh so true ROFL πŸ˜€

    Reply
  35. ElIzAbEtH cArPeNtEr says

    November 6, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    wow…that was the stupidist thing ever…………………………………………………………..could you get any lamer!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  36. Lardy Fats alot says

    November 8, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    SAY THIS OUT LOUD:
    I IZ WEE-TARR-DEAD,SO WEE-TARR-DEAD
    THATS WHAT THE WRITER OF THESE SAYS.WOW DUDE THESES SUCK D: ):

    Reply
  37. hatergirl says

    November 22, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    i might do the toilet paper thing and mail it to as many big companies as i can making sure not to get fingerprints on it
    (used toiletpaper)

    Reply
  38. megan says

    January 6, 2010 at 11:30 pm

    7 was funny. thats it.

    Reply
  39. Mara says

    February 2, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    the ten sarcastic dares were hilarious and i will be sure to try a few…….

    Reply
  40. daisy says

    February 9, 2010 at 11:45 pm

    Haha totally loved number 2, and a friend of mine and I have done number ten.

    Reply
  41. brian says

    February 22, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    number 1 sucked think of a new one by tommorow nnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  42. brian says

    February 22, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    brian again only number 7 was alright mothaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa see yaaaaaah

    Reply
  43. Melissa says

    March 28, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    number 1. i work at a gas station and people really do use the squeegee to wash their whole car ! lol

    Reply
  44. c-hizzle says

    April 19, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    IM GANNA FLARF!

    Reply
  45. c-hizzle says

    April 19, 2010 at 6:36 pm

    DONT MAKE ME FLARF!

    Reply
  46. c-hizzle says

    April 19, 2010 at 6:36 pm

    IM WARNING U!

    Reply
  47. Rick says

    April 27, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Made up this clean joke a few months back.
    Why was the marble countertop feeling down and out?
    Because everyone kept taking him for granite.

    Reply
  48. Dozi says

    June 28, 2010 at 10:20 am

    i have done alot of these… like washing ur car at the gas station

    Reply
  49. ROFL says

    July 1, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Yay!

    Reply
  50. Totalrandomosity says

    September 23, 2010 at 8:31 am

    LAWLZ XD im s0 gunna do those d@res XD

    Reply
  51. Sandal says

    September 23, 2010 at 10:45 am

    LOL!!! #1 IS BEAST! (:

    Reply
  52. manny says

    October 9, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    Whooo I did all of them!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  53. Tasidident says

    November 11, 2010 at 6:55 am

    manny yeah man i am 100% sure you did.

    Reply
  54. Dean Martin says

    April 21, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    horrible

    Reply

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