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You are here: Home / Jokes / Golf Jokes / Tiger Woods Crash Jokes

Tiger Woods Crash Jokes

December 4, 2009 by F&J Staff 27 Comments

Call us opportunists, but we’ve just got to jump on the Tiger Woods jokes bandwagon. At the time of this post, there’s a media storm surrounding Tiger and his “transgressions.” We’re here to shamelessly capitalize on that.

Tiger WoodsLook, I’m a golf fan and of all golfers – Woods is perhaps the guy I have had the most respect for. His work ethic is impeccable and he’s made it to where he is today because of his determiniation and intelligence. But enough about that, let’s get right to the crash jokes.

Best Tiger Woods Crash Jokes

  • When asked by the police how many times she hit Tiger, Elin replied “I’m not sure, put me down for a 5”
  • I think Tiger needs a new driver, his current shaft keeps getting him in trouble!
  • I read that the PGA are now investigating Tiger for having too many “woodies” in his bag!
  • Tiger and Elin will get back together because she is already hitting on him.
  • After scoring a couple of beautiful birdies earlier on, Tiger finds himself in serious trouble at the last hole, coming home.
  • Did Elin use a “rescue club” to extract him from the Escalade?
  • Tiger was found exactly two club lengths from his car due to a lost ball penalty – if the cops would have arrived a minute later he’d have lost the other one as well.
  • Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par.
  • What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
  • Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
  • Tiger’s tip for wayward golfers: never ask your wife to keep track of your balls.
  • I always knew Woods was a better putter than driver.
  • Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
  • What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 300 yards.
  • If Elin really did whack Tiger a couple of times with a golf club, it would have been in line with the rules of golf: there’s a 2-stroke penalty for playing the wrong hole.
  • Hey Adidas, this is Tiger, Nike found your number in my phone. I need you to change your name…

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Filed Under: Golf Jokes, Jokes

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Comments

  1. danineteen says

    December 5, 2009 at 11:42 am

    The 2nd last was probably the best, in my opinion.

    Reply
  2. Lapoche says

    December 8, 2009 at 11:28 am

    lol Tiger Woods is still the king

    Reply
  3. Jokes Paradise says

    December 11, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Hey, Tiger spoiled himself… lol… But he is a Tiger.. hmmm

    Reply
  4. Mitch Loeffer says

    December 11, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    Hey please tell me that you heard, Tiger changed his name from tiger… to Cheetah

    Reply
  5. lucy says

    December 12, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    whats the difference between tiger woods and santa? santa stops after 3 hoes.
    lol have u heard that one?

    Reply
  6. JadeDragon says

    December 16, 2009 at 12:12 am

    I wrote How to Profit from a Relationship with Tiger Woods – In 10 Easy Steps Click through my name to read it.

    Reply
  7. RACHAEL MARIE says

    December 22, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    DANINETEEN….without malice…buuut….you must have a very low sense of humor…

    Reply
  8. RACHAEL MARIE says

    December 22, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    kay…now…Lucy…thats a bafoonery of emotion joke…!!!

    Reply
  9. Jigglypuff says

    December 23, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    LOL i got a good one, Whats the difference between Tiger woods and Santa? Santa stops after three hoes!

    Reply
  10. danineteen says

    December 23, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    @ Lucy & Jigglypuff: wow, you 2 are original, aren’t you?
    @ Rachael Marie: the others were just lame to me. or overdone/overrated.

    Reply
  11. i got knocked up with twins says

    January 1, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    efuwejfjewio

    Reply
  12. David says

    January 3, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    You can’t blame Tiger for cheating. It’s not his fault he was taught to play with 18 holes.

    Reply
  13. bob says

    January 6, 2010 at 11:41 pm

    Tiger is laying down on a bed with 2 beautiful women, one on each side of him suddenly the phone rings tiger picks it up what do you know its his wife she says tiger when are you coming home tiger replied I only have 2 holes left.

    Reply
  14. ashley says

    January 12, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Gott a good one a lion wouldn’t chest on his wife but a tiger wood

    Reply
  15. danineteen says

    January 13, 2010 at 7:20 am

    @ashley: That’s old. Did you make that up yourself? ‘Cause I’m sure I read that in a Facebook page title.

    Reply
  16. mandy says

    January 14, 2010 at 7:51 am

    if tiger wants to change his name, cheetah wook would be great.

    Reply
  17. mandy says

    January 14, 2010 at 7:52 am

    if tiger wants to change his name, cheetah wood would be great.

    Reply
  18. Herb says

    January 14, 2010 at 11:03 am

    I heard that Tiger was going to chnage professions–he’s going from Golf to Indoor Broad Jumping.

    Reply
  19. Herb says

    January 14, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    Do you know what Tiger and a Cadillac Escalade have in common? They both have been hit by Swedes.

    Reply
  20. . says

    February 25, 2010 at 11:14 am

    You are doomed to get more chain mail if you don’t pass this on to 10 more people.

    Reply
  21. Josh D says

    March 9, 2010 at 10:31 am

    at first tiger was just playing one hole now he is playing all 18 holes

    Reply
  22. ,,,,, says

    March 11, 2010 at 7:05 am

    hi, ha ha funy

    Reply
  23. tigler wuuds says

    March 23, 2010 at 11:54 am

    your all sick and twisted. im sure he had a very good reason to cheat. its just how it is yo. and i am not tiger woods but im sure he is very upset right now.

    Reply
  24. Marissa says

    April 7, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops at 3 hoes. — HAHAHA!

    Reply
  25. kevin says

    May 12, 2010 at 7:38 am

    bad jokes guys

    Reply
  26. Lovely Girl:D says

    June 19, 2010 at 12:10 am

    Didn’t you hear Tiger changed his name to cougar… I’m not surprised.

    Reply
  27. Hilary says

    July 9, 2010 at 5:11 am

    i say: its stupid

    Reply

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