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You are here: Home / Jokes / Clean Jokes / Some Short Doctor Jokes

Some Short Doctor Jokes

December 20, 2007 by F&J Staff 14 Comments

WE’ve got a whole slew of great Doctor Jokes that have submitted by our loyal F&J readers, though many of them just aren’t quite long enough to publish by themselves. We’ve taken a few and compiled them here, just for you : )

  • “Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!” (This one is our favorite)
  • Patient: “Doctor, are you sure I’m suffering from pneumonia? I’ve heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.” Doctor: “Don’t worry, it won’t happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia.”
  • The difference between a neurotic and a psychotic is that, while a psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 5, a neurotic knows the answer is 4, but it worries him.
  • A Short History of Medicine: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
    • 2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.”
    • 1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
    • 1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”
    • 1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”
    • 1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”
    • 2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”
  • The seven-year old girl told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.” “Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?” “Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.” (See how innocent that was?)

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Filed Under: Clean Jokes, Doctor Jokes, Jokes

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Comments

  1. Amir says

    January 3, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    Very gergeous good n sweet!

    Reply
  2. Hater Alert says

    January 8, 2008 at 11:52 am

    None Of These Are Funny…Go To Hell…

    Reply
  3. Hater says

    February 21, 2008 at 11:47 pm

    What’s wong with these jokes? They’re retarted!

    Reply
  4. Goblin Punch says

    March 26, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    It’s not the jokes. It’s you guys. Get out more. They were funny.

    Patient: “Doctor, are you sure I’m suffering from pneumonia? I’ve heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.” Doctor: “Don’t worry, it won’t happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia.”

    Reply
  5. Anonymous says

    April 21, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    A man walks into a Doctor’s office and says “I think I’m a moth!”
    The Doctor looks surprised, and asks the man, “Why did you come here?”
    The man replies “Because your light was on!”

    Reply
  6. Black Mamba TruAfrican says

    April 23, 2008 at 5:01 am

    While Anonymous rocks, the rest suck!!!!

    Reply
  7. sarah w. says

    May 5, 2008 at 2:10 pm

    sorta bleh- last one was best.

    Reply
  8. Fatgit says

    August 24, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    I meant to give the jokes 5 stars but gave them 4 by mistake!

    I liked the first one best too.

    Reply
  9. a person says

    February 4, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    i don’t get any of them but i’m sure if i did they would be funny.

    Reply
  10. sniper_dogg says

    February 7, 2009 at 5:09 am

    get a life..u people..these r indeed really funny.

    Reply
  11. Red Rivan says

    May 15, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    da 4th 1 waz da best

    Reply
  12. Chiquilla says

    September 11, 2009 at 11:57 am

    Lmao i liked tha 1st one even though it took me like a minute to figure it out haha

    Reply
  13. West Side Story Fan says

    July 11, 2010 at 10:52 pm

    The joke was great, but the word heard is mispelled. There is only one “E”. BTW if you people hate the jokes, why do you keep reading them?

    Reply
  14. funny stuff says

    February 11, 2011 at 1:13 am

    follow me on twitter i always follow back if you tweet add me @favoriterecipe

    Reply

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