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You are here: Home / Jokes / Insults and Cutdowns / Performance Evaluation Quotes

Performance Evaluation Quotes

July 17, 2007 by F&J Staff 5 Comments

Somewhere, in some office or human resources department… an employee has had a performance evaluation. Most of the time these go well, with someone getting a raise or a boost in moral… other times… not so well. The following are actual quotes taken from various performance evaluation tests at a company (to remain anonymous).

“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”

“His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.”

“I would not allow this employee to breed.”

“This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t be.”

“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”

“He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”

“This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”

“He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”

“This employee should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.”

“This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”

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Filed Under: Insults and Cutdowns, Jokes

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Comments

  1. chris says

    October 16, 2007 at 6:04 am

    man i was readin thru n the funniest i must say was the last lmao
    great work got me breathless

    Reply
  2. rick james says

    December 18, 2007 at 12:40 pm

    this is cool

    Reply
  3. AbBy says

    March 3, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Those are so funny. Sounds like my boos wrote them, tho. LOL

    Reply
  4. Simon says

    June 18, 2008 at 1:14 am

    OK OK OK… You told you, you could note down my last evaluation… tehe

    Reply
  5. Pattie says

    July 21, 2008 at 8:57 pm

    the 5th one n the last one r hilarious

    Reply

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