A recent news story detailed a medical implant which offers women the chance to experience orgasms with the press of a button. Tiny electrodes are implanted into the spine and a small signal generator in the skin under the buttocks. The patient then controls the sensation with a handheld remote.
Side Effects Of The New Orgasm Implant:
- Dramatic increase in the number of women seen hanging out at Radio Shack.
- Cosmopolitan magazine folds due to a drastic shortage of cover story headlines.
- Dad: now surfs with two remotes Mom: never complains.
- She never wants to cuddle anymore. It’s click, click, click, and she’s out the door.
- The Baptists hurriedly draft an extra Commandment.
- Thanks to a malfunctioning garage door opener, you’re looking at $600 bucks to fix the hole your wife kicked in the dashboard of your SUV.
- “Not tonight, Honey. I have a thumb ache.”
- Finally, size really *doesn’t* matter.
- “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn’t paying attention … I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn’t paying attention … I’m sorry …”
- Every time your cell phone rings, you feel the uncontrollable urge to shout your surgeon’s name.
- Side effects? Who cares about… oh… *oh*… OH, GOD! YESSSSSS!
- In addition to “Mute” and “Favorite,” the wildly popular Radio Shack Ultimate Universal Remote now has a new button: “Big O.”
- Men no longer feel any responsibility toward satisfying their partner… errr, never mind…