• Kids Jokes
  • Knock Knock Jokes
  • Yo Mama Jokes
  • Dirty Jokes

Funny & Jokes

Browse literally thousands of totally free funny jokes, riddles, cartoons, pictures, videos and more. Most popular humor and joke blog on the internet.

  • Jokes
    • Bar Jokes
    • Birthday Jokes
    • Blonde Jokes
    • Bumper Stickers
    • Clean Jokes
    • Dirty Jokes
    • Doctor Jokes
    • Female Jokes
    • Gay Jokes
    • Golf Jokes
    • Insults and Cutdowns
    • Knock Knock Jokes
    • Lawyer Jokes
    • Little Johnny Jokes
    • Male Jokes
    • One Liner Jokes
    • Other Jokes
    • Police Jokes
    • Political Jokes
    • Redneck Jokes
    • Religious Jokes
    • Stupid Jokes
    • Yo Mama Jokes
  • Funny News
  • Funny Pictures
  • Videos
    • Car Videos
    • Commercials
    • Cool Videos
    • Funny Videos
    • Shocking Videos
    • Sports Videos
  • Other Stuff
    • Comics
    • Games
    • Riddles
    • Illusions
You are here: Home / Jokes / Mate Match

Mate Match

August 27, 2007 by F&J Staff 81 Comments

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks did hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called “Mate Match“.

The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers “yes”, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with phone number for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you’ve heard yet. Anyway, here’s how it all went down:

DJ: “Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of ‘Mate Match’?”

Contestant: (laughing) “Yes, I have.”

DJ: “Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.”

Contestant: “Brian.”

DJ: “Brian, are you married or what?”

Brian: (laughing nervously) “Yes, I am married.”

DJ: “Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.”

Brian: “Sara.”

DJ: “Is Sara at work, Brian?”

Brian: “She is gonna kill me.”

DJ: “Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?”

Brian: (laughing) “Yes, she’s at work.”

DJ: “Okay, first question – when was the last time you had sex?”

Brian: “About 8 o’clock this morning.”

DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) “Well…”

DJ: “Question #2 – How long did it last?”

Brian: “About 10 minutes.”

DJ: “Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn’t at stake.”

Brian: “Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.”

DJ: “Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clock
this morning?

Brian: (laughing hard) “I, ummm, I, well…”

DJ: “This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?”

Brian: “Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks…”

DJ: “Uh huh…”

Brian: “…and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.”

DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”

Brian: “On the kitchen table.”

DJ: “Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I’ve done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife’s work number and call her up. You listen to this.”

[3 minutes of commercials follow.]

DJ: “Okay audience; let’s call Sarah, shall we?” (Touch tones…..ringing….)

Clerk: “Kinkos.”

DJ: “Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?”

Clerk: “This is she.”

DJ: “Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.”

Sarah: (laughing) “A couple of hours?”

DJ: “Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you’ll lose. Sooooooo… do you know the rules of ‘Mate Match’?”

Sarah: “No.”

DJ: “Good!”

Brian: (laughing)

Sarah: (laughing) “Brian, what the hell are you up to?”

Brian: (laughing) “Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.”

DJ: “Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.”

Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”

DJ: “Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?”

Sarah: “Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.”

DJ: “What time?”

Sarah: “Around 8 this morning.”

DJ: “Very good. Next question. How long did it last?”

Sarah: “12, 15 minutes maybe.”

DJ: “Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We’ve got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?”

Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”

DJ: “Where did you have it?”

Sarah: “OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn’t tell them that did you?”

Brian: “Just tell him, honey.”

DJ: “What is bothering you so much, Sarah?”

Sarah: “Well…”

DJ: Come on Sarah…..where did you have it?

Sarah: “Up the a$$…”

After a long pause, the DJ said, “Folks, we need to take a station break”

And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!

Sharing is caring!

  • Facebook0
  • Twitter
  • Google+0
  • Pinterest0

Filed Under: Jokes

What'd you think about this joke?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (617 votes, average: 4.49 out of 5)
Loading...

Related Jokes

  • Top 20 Chemistry Jokes of Some Time
  • God Will Save Me!
  • Getting Married in Heaven
  • From Riches to Rags
  • 11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser

Comments

  1. Pinkey says

    August 29, 2007 at 5:57 pm

    i couldnt read it, it was to long

    Reply
  2. Ferdi says

    August 30, 2007 at 8:16 am

    lol..

    Reply
  3. amy says

    August 30, 2007 at 9:25 am

    hahaha that was sooo funny … abit too long tho thanks 4 the laff

    Reply
  4. RONDA says

    September 2, 2007 at 10:53 pm

    THIS ONE IS HILARIOUS! I’M AT WORK WHEN I READ IT, TRYING TO FIGHT BOREDOM, SO THE LENGTH OF THE JOKE WASN’T AN ISSUE. BESIDES THE LONGER THE BETTER. HE HE. ANYWAYS I HAD TO STIFFEL MY LAUGHTER. SO DID THEY WIN THE TRIP?

    Reply
  5. Lady_Princess says

    September 3, 2007 at 11:55 am

    OMG….THIS WAS SO HILARIOUS

    Reply
  6. A_sleeping_gangsta says

    September 7, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    made me laugh ma head off!!! gd1!!!

    Reply
  7. hailie says

    September 9, 2007 at 4:06 pm

    omg that as f@#$%*! funny

    Reply
  8. vanessa says

    September 9, 2007 at 9:06 pm

    LMFAOO!! THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST JOKE IVE READ ON THIS WEBSITE SO FAR..

    Reply
  9. Hadi says

    September 10, 2007 at 2:16 am

    the best 1 i ever read

    Reply
  10. Pheakie says

    September 12, 2007 at 1:24 am

    LMFAO….., it’s damn funny joke i ever read…; Well, is it a real happening in sydney?

    Reply
  11. CaSsIe says

    September 17, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    OK. I’m a bit speechless right now. That was…overwhelming and completely unexpected, but it was pretty effing awesome.

    Reply
  12. RoRo says

    September 24, 2007 at 10:37 pm

    hahhahahahahahahahah! that was so funny! yup nuffin to be embarassd bout, jus few hundred viewers readin in(!) hhahahaha i wonder wat the mother-in-laws shock was??? 😀

    Reply
  13. jimbo says

    October 3, 2007 at 7:31 am

    great stuff, anyone know where ther might be a copy of the audio instead of the text..

    Reply
  14. Felicity says

    October 5, 2007 at 8:09 am

    that was the funniest thing eva!!

    Reply
  15. yessi says

    October 5, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    oh wow! that was hillariouse. thats been the funniest joke i’ve read on this website

    Reply
  16. Pinkey says

    October 9, 2007 at 11:51 pm

    HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!DAMN THATS HILLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!11

    Reply
  17. Sally says

    October 15, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    oh wow. that’s hilarious. i fell bad for them. 🙂

    Reply
  18. lil chunty says

    October 18, 2007 at 11:30 am

    funny very funny

    Reply
  19. Jason says

    October 20, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    omg!!! dat was awesum!

    Reply
  20. Justin says

    November 18, 2007 at 1:13 am

    lmfao, that is a good one, i will laugh about it for a few days

    Reply
  21. georgio says

    November 19, 2007 at 5:31 pm

    how do u get an audio for this?

    Reply
  22. Miranda says

    November 19, 2007 at 8:07 pm

    i really dont think that was very funny
    but ok

    Reply
  23. ivona says

    November 20, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    the fact that it really happened made the joke even better!

    Reply
  24. kbp says

    January 19, 2008 at 5:38 am

    LMAO! This is the funniest joke on the website i’ve read
    laughing so hard now! hahahahaa

    Reply
  25. kinzo says

    February 11, 2008 at 3:10 am

    I really would like to know if the did win the prize to gold coast…
    Hope they gonna enjoy in gold coast as well… up the @$$ again huh? hahaha

    Reply
  26. Tinashe says

    March 6, 2008 at 10:19 am

    This is so gud and I really enjoyed

    Reply
  27. Gerthrude says

    March 6, 2008 at 10:22 am

    The joke was good and marvellous!!!!!!!1

    Reply
  28. TRmaniac says

    March 7, 2008 at 7:28 am

    Oh God I can’t stop laughing! ROFLMAO

    Reply
  29. Amy says

    March 10, 2008 at 2:30 am

    THIS IS SERIOUSLY FUNNY! One of the BEST i’ve heard so far! HAHAHAH~~!!!! I can only imagine everyone laughing their asses off!

    -peace out-

    Reply
  30. Dee says

    March 10, 2008 at 4:48 am

    ROFL…. 😀 😀 😀 Holy crap…. This is priceless…….

    Reply
  31. Blackbuddy says

    March 13, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE READ ON THIS SITE! BY FAR THE FUNNIEST AND TO THINK THAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. BIG SHOUT OUT TO SARAH, MAY THAT A$$ NEVER LIE!!

    Reply
  32. gagandeep says

    March 15, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    It is Good! I really enjoy it alot.

    Reply
  33. CINDY says

    March 18, 2008 at 7:17 am

    THATS A GOOD ONE FUNNY I MUST SAY…..

    Reply
  34. Rojik says

    March 19, 2008 at 1:45 pm

    got told about this joke mid 1990’s and according to the fella who told me it came from a Sydney radio staion so it may well be true. I was wicket-keeping in a cricket game at the time and laughed so hard I missed the next ball and it went for 4 runs…

    Reply
  35. Sher says

    March 20, 2008 at 2:55 am

    I really like this one

    Reply
  36. mappy says

    March 23, 2008 at 10:30 am

    i thinkn it was boring

    Reply
  37. artaz says

    July 17, 2008 at 8:43 am

    blew my head off man, seriuosly. Good one

    Reply
  38. mpho says

    August 8, 2008 at 10:06 am

    it was awesome.it realy cracked me

    Reply
  39. Kelcé says

    August 20, 2008 at 3:08 am

    Hahaha! Seriously funny!

    Reply
  40. joseph says

    August 21, 2008 at 3:33 am

    that was f***ing funny XD

    Reply
  41. Tonniez says

    October 6, 2008 at 12:46 am

    Thats more like it!!! Its just wow, did they win?

    Reply
  42. kate says

    October 15, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    OMG!!! thats so funny! lmao

    Reply
  43. Candice Simmons says

    November 28, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    this real fricking bad people! Oh my gosh. This is a true story. ha hah hah hahahah

    Reply
  44. Phoebe says

    January 2, 2009 at 1:32 am

    it was worth the reading…lol

    Reply
  45. jeff says

    January 8, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    lol. that was funny.
    where did u have it?
    UP THE @$$

    Reply
  46. Nick says

    January 14, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    By far one of the best jokes ever. Brought tears to my eyes, awesome!

    Reply
  47. moe says

    April 2, 2009 at 3:13 am

    i cant believe she said that…

    Reply
  48. Larry The Cable Girl says

    April 15, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! BEST ONE ON THE SITE!!!!

    Reply
  49. mysterious says

    July 2, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    oww , ha ha ha , datz de best , nyc one ,ha ha ha ha

    Reply
  50. Not in luv says

    July 4, 2009 at 9:41 pm

    Oh man.. Thats soooooooo long.. Yet it got me…

    Reply
  51. jojo says

    July 5, 2009 at 11:33 pm

    dats fynny as heck

    Reply
  52. gio dude says

    July 8, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    holly sh*t thats funny,sick AND stupid
    o yeah and why was she like this “this is she”
    is she like indian or somtin

    Reply
  53. salmander says

    July 14, 2009 at 1:07 am

    its called proper english “gio dude”… you might have heard of it somewhere… :-/

    Reply
  54. JT says

    July 15, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    hahahahahahahaha!
    wow.. that was live on the Radio?!?!

    Reply
  55. Sam says

    July 16, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    damnnn……….poor DJ…he mustve been stunned…loool

    Reply
  56. Tina says

    July 25, 2009 at 7:11 am

    Wow that was great.keep it up.send more

    Reply
  57. nana says

    July 30, 2009 at 5:13 am

    that was sick

    Reply
  58. Trevor says

    February 3, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Wooooooooooooooooooooowwww.
    That girl needs a brain check. A serious brain check.
    Can’t believe she said that live. I WOULD have crashed my car laughing.

    Reply
  59. Sarah says

    February 4, 2010 at 3:46 am

    So i jst read this on facebook, I bet she is blonde lol. So did they get the prize?

    Reply
  60. barsin says

    March 2, 2010 at 12:52 am

    i dont get it? Up the ass? She mis-heard the question, someone explain to me.

    Reply
  61. Dgreenme says

    May 8, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    I dont get the joke its a bit clumsy compared to others

    Reply
  62. trixter says

    May 10, 2010 at 12:06 am

    hey, did they won? i sure hope they did.

    Reply
  63. knowing says

    May 12, 2010 at 7:39 am

    So they did’nt win the trip to Gold Coast?

    Reply
  64. striker says

    May 20, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    poor dj…

    Reply
  65. leon raffle says

    June 11, 2010 at 5:02 am

    way tooooooooo long

    Reply
  66. Tinisha says

    June 17, 2010 at 12:25 pm

    WAY TO LONG 4 ME!! 😀

    Reply
  67. Prachi says

    June 18, 2010 at 5:53 am

    i cud’nt stop laughing, its the funniest I have ever read.

    Reply
  68. Joke guy says

    June 24, 2010 at 12:30 am

    Not bad. A little long, but not bad.

    Reply
  69. Pro Genius says

    June 27, 2010 at 1:04 am

    lol…

    Reply
  70. West Side Story Fan says

    June 29, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    Wow…just wow.

    Reply
  71. Rahul Verma says

    June 30, 2010 at 4:33 am

    I thing this joke is funny but too……………… leanthy

    Reply
  72. Vera says

    July 8, 2010 at 2:41 pm

    That was mwaaaa….lykd it

    Reply
  73. sha sha says

    July 8, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    dat sh”t was fu’king funny i cant stop crying

    Reply
  74. I says

    July 11, 2010 at 3:45 am

    Well she thought of WHERE she had it… Not where they DID it.

    Reply
  75. Princess says

    July 14, 2010 at 7:35 am

    But i think KITCHEN SEX is always fun!!

    I like d joke, it’s rib cracking

    Reply
  76. monstra? says

    August 6, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    BWAAWAWhahaha that was so funny
    ahhhh

    Reply
  77. RoJo noob says

    October 18, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    haha

    Reply
  78. Mutumbo says

    December 27, 2010 at 3:07 am

    That ws the greatest here so far….

    Reply
  79. Wayne says

    December 30, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    I am from Sydney and I remember hearing that live and almost had an accident driving as I was laughing so much. In the USA they would can that long before it went live. ozi ozi ozi

    Reply
  80. noname says

    September 8, 2011 at 11:08 am

    HAHAHAHA!! That is so dangerously funny. Hahahaha. It is even funnier if you heard it live on the radio.

    Reply
  81. Anonymous says

    April 11, 2013 at 12:39 am

    ohh poor DJ

    Reply

Leave a Reply to knowing Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Jokes

  • Top 20 Chemistry Jokes of Some Time
  • God Will Save Me!
  • Getting Married in Heaven
  • From Riches to Rags
  • 11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser

Recent Comments

  • CavScout85 on Military Acronyms
  • https://diigo.com/0dfbpa on Letter From A Farm Kid
  • Bravo on Military Acronyms
  • Hannan on Military Acronyms
  • Nithyananda on Are Computers Male or Female?

Copyright © 2005-2019 Funny & Jokes • All rights reserved. • Privacy Policy • Terms of Service