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You are here: Home / Jokes / Dirty Jokes / Little Johnny: Contagious In A Sentence

Little Johnny: Contagious In A Sentence

May 19, 2011 by F&J Staff 23 Comments

At school one day, Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to use the word “contagious” in a sentence…

Cindy raises her hand. “Yes, Cindy?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.”

“Very good, Cindy!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Samantha raises her hand. “Yes, Samantha?” She answers, “My dad tells me not to yawn because then everybody else yawns. He says yawning is contagious.”

“Excellent work, Samantha! Very creative,” the teacher praises. “Okay, one more volunteer.” Little Johnny raises his hand. “Yes, Johnny?”

“Well,” he says, “I was helping my dad in the yard last week, and we saw the neighbor painting his house. He was using a small brush, so I asked my dad, ‘Daddy, why is he using such a small brush?’ and he says, ‘I don’t know son, but it’s gonna take that contagious.'”

*editor’s note: for those that don’t get it… sound it out in two syllables.

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Filed Under: Dirty Jokes, Jokes, Little Johnny Jokes

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Comments

  1. HI says

    May 23, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    WOOHOO FIRST COMMENT. I still don’t get it even after the editors note

    Reply
    • Mr Colin J Wallace says

      May 1, 2020 at 2:23 pm

      It’s gonna take tgat c*nt ages

      Reply
  2. Dry Toast says

    May 25, 2011 at 11:01 am

    its “c#nt ages”

    Reply
  3. HI says

    May 26, 2011 at 6:40 am

    lol i get it

    Reply
  4. thatguy says

    July 10, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    thats awesome..

    Reply
  5. zoe says

    August 8, 2011 at 9:39 am

    i dont get it. who dus get it???

    Reply
  6. ciarra says

    August 22, 2011 at 9:16 am

    dhat joke was soooo effn lame . why df would you even make it ? df wronq wivff yahh ?

    Reply
  7. ciarra says

    August 22, 2011 at 9:16 am

    dhis was sooo very weak and youu danq sure know it !

    Reply
  8. cierra says

    August 22, 2011 at 9:17 am

    your joke was ohh so weak . and you know it

    Reply
  9. cierra says

    August 22, 2011 at 9:17 am

    haha , dhis was wack !
    # rns !

    Reply
  10. EmiiiAnne says

    August 23, 2011 at 7:25 am

    Im so Confused that was pretty wierd someone explane to me how that was funny!!

    Reply
  11. OLERATO DAPHNE MOSUMO says

    September 28, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  12. OLERATO DAPHNE MOSUMO says

    September 28, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    WITH ALL DUE RESPECT YA’LL NEED TO STOP HATING.

    Reply
  13. johnny says

    December 6, 2011 at 6:55 am

    they could at the very least get the gender uff ze painter right, then it MIGHT BE funneee?

    Reply
  14. dayshia says

    December 9, 2011 at 9:34 am

    i get it bekuz they ssaid use the word contagious and contagious means that it spreads and his daddy was calling the next door neighbor a dummy for using a small brush

    Reply
  15. rofl says

    January 3, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Aaaah… gonna take that c*nt ages…

    Reply
  16. Marklol7 says

    May 21, 2012 at 9:42 pm

    This joke is not gender specific at all but you really need to read the end like 3 times before you fully understand, but what it’s saying is that the neighbor will take forever or ages to paint his house, and he doesn’t like his neighbor because he calls him a c.u.n.t. What the man says to his son is ‘I don’t know son, but it’s gonna take that c.u.n.t ages” which the boy mistakens for contagious

    Reply
    • Ben says

      November 28, 2019 at 8:38 am

      Wow, thanks a lot, i would have never understood this joke

      Reply
  17. Katra says

    June 1, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Nice one. Visit web.con.na to see my story too.

    Reply
  18. Kendra says

    June 28, 2012 at 6:00 pm

    The neighbor should’ve been a ‘she’ in the joke and not a ‘he’

    Reply
    • Freddie Maize says

      January 31, 2017 at 3:11 am

      You can be a bloke and be a cu*t. In fact most of the time I am calling a guy a fu@king cu*t because they can take it

      Reply
  19. Shirley says

    February 5, 2020 at 2:52 pm

    YOUR COMMENTS PROVE THAT MOST OF U R DUMB AF…. THE JOKE’S LEGIT AND U LAME DUMASSES R A BUNCH OF
    C.U. N. T. S.

    Have a nice day😆

    Reply
  20. BlueBee says

    November 22, 2020 at 9:42 pm

    I am dying over here in 2020 isolation.
    My brother and I have been swapping jokes by holding the punch line, if required.
    I saw this one but didn’t get it at first read and sent it to my brother.
    As soon as I had hit send, it clicked.
    I didn’t hear back brom my brother for while but several minutes later, he replied “I can’t breathe…what a workout”
    So, since I can’t visit, I will take this joke as a hit.

    Reply

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