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You are here: Home / Jokes / Life’s Tough When You’re Stupid

Life’s Tough When You’re Stupid

March 11, 2009 by F&J Staff 42 Comments

A classroom full of first year Veterinary students were participating in their first day of anatomy class. For the lecture, the professor begins by unveiling a dead cow under a white sheet laying on an operating table.

The professor tells the class “In Veterinary Medicine, there are two qualities you must possess as a doctor – the first of which is a strong stomach. You cannot, under any circumstance, be disgusted by anything involving an animal’s body.”Cow

For example, the Professor pulls back the sheet and sticks his finger right up the dead cow’s butt, pulls out his finger and sticks it in his mouth. The students just standthere, paralyzed at what they see. “Now, go ahead and do the same thing, each of you,” the professor says.

Freaked out, the students take several minutes but eventually take turns sticking their fingers up into the anal cavity of the dead cow, and then sucking on them. Once everyone is finished, the Professor continues on with his lesson… “Now, the second important quality you must possess is a keen observation. You see, I stuck in my middle finger up the cow’s butt, and I sucked on my index finger… Now, learn to pay attention.”

The moral: Life’s tough, but it’s even tougher when you’re stupid.

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Filed Under: Jokes, Stupid Jokes

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Comments

  1. not yo daddy says

    March 11, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    sick,not that funny,but made me smile a little

    Reply
  2. Banna says

    March 12, 2009 at 12:38 am

    Funny…yeah class is dumb for really doing it

    Reply
  3. IrritatedOyster says

    March 12, 2009 at 1:39 am

    EEWWW

    Reply
  4. Abhijeet Gore says

    March 15, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Funny n humarus…Feeling lucky 4 being absent to my 1st Practical…Oops

    Reply
  5. sally@13 says

    March 16, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    yuck but sort of funny i will pay attention when i do mi 1st practical

    Reply
  6. bomyy says

    March 17, 2009 at 8:00 am

    yuck

    Reply
  7. jen says

    March 23, 2009 at 11:38 am

    omg imagine if you were in that class! made me cringe though!

    Reply
  8. Indigo-Peach says

    March 24, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    That was hilarious!!!! it was pretty nasty though too i mean NO ONE paid attention thats just wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  9. dlbrntt says

    March 26, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    noone said it was the whole class that didnt pay attention.

    Reply
  10. Mariah says

    March 26, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    If my teacher told me to do that, i would be soo scared
    lol but thats kinda funny-gross-but funny.

    Reply
  11. Mariah says

    March 26, 2009 at 11:42 pm

    Can u image if ur teacher told u to do that???

    Reply
  12. summer says

    March 31, 2009 at 8:08 am

    that’s a good lesson for not paying attention

    Reply
  13. april says

    March 31, 2009 at 10:22 am

    yucks!!
    disgusting!!
    anyway, this is funny story which have morality..

    Reply
  14. jon says

    March 31, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    that is too long!!!……bots!!!

    Reply
  15. guy81 says

    March 31, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    OMG I LOVE LOOOOOOONG JOKES!! this was really funny and cheered me up when i was down…

    you know what else is really cool? all saints… yeh you should all watch all saints…

    and the best time to watch all saints is when you’re sitting by the fireplace with a cup of tea and a good book, and you’re not paying any attention at all because all saints is suck a crap show…

    mmm…

    Reply
  16. hot chick says

    April 1, 2009 at 7:07 am

    i dont get it there were so stupid for that!!!!!!!!!! (ewo) but dry in a funny way back @ u$$$$$$$$$

    Reply
  17. hot chick says

    April 1, 2009 at 7:10 am

    com on day should give it a break dry guys serusly

    Reply
  18. hot chick says

    April 1, 2009 at 7:17 am

    hello yall rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr u allllllllllllllllllll slllllllllllllllllleeeeeeee
    eeeeeppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg

    Reply
  19. hot chick says

    April 1, 2009 at 7:31 am

    yooo big mamas ma a big boy an i can take care of my self it not oonly about the jocks it is about u about us is about u

    thx

    Reply
  20. hot chick says

    April 1, 2009 at 7:39 am

    ok u guys com on lets chat my email address is:ukpeo@yahoo.com

    Reply
  21. hot chick says

    April 1, 2009 at 7:46 am

    bye

    Reply
  22. Emily says

    April 19, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    that’s terrible! and yet I still laughed!

    Reply
  23. winnie says

    April 22, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    yuck that is sick but funny at the same time

    Reply
  24. keren says

    April 26, 2009 at 6:05 pm

    ewwwwwwww its nasty but rlly funny at the same time poor students

    Reply
  25. joshua says

    May 4, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    haha nice

    Reply
  26. Ally M. BBY says

    May 6, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    DUDE THATS SO SICK N I DONT PAY ATTENTION…SO I PROBALY WULDDA DONE THE SAME…HAHAHA

    Reply
  27. Toren says

    May 14, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    lol…

    Reply
  28. angel says

    May 27, 2009 at 6:11 am

    OMG!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!%^&**(*$#$@#kill me now…………………………….

    Reply
  29. amber says

    May 28, 2009 at 9:40 am

    OMG that is sick but very funny at the same time lol

    Reply
  30. Tanveer Shahriyar says

    June 11, 2009 at 6:34 am

    awwwwwwwwwsm

    Reply
  31. SeexyChick says

    November 2, 2009 at 11:45 pm

    Hahahaha. I am now a vet. My teacher made my class do that on our first day . I was the only one in my class who paid any attention … He stuck his index finger up a pigs butt and put his middle finger in his mouth. After I was done, he awarded me for being the only one who was paying any attention (: I was hated by most people afterwards ! & I think all the other people gave up … It took 7 years to finish the course I took (: but of course it was worth it

    Reply
  32. Andrew says

    November 24, 2009 at 5:38 am

    Never pay school fees,but pay attention.

    Reply
  33. Jess N Pheebz says

    November 24, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    haha lol This reminds me of phoebe

    Reply
  34. I says

    January 25, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    i loved, it, in a gross, twisted way. (not the way your probably thinking!!) 🙂

    Reply
  35. I luv Sam says

    January 25, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    i loved it in a weird way, it’s definently funny!

    Reply
  36. Nofree Lunch says

    February 14, 2010 at 1:35 am

    Can’t find source attributing the “moral” of this story as having been originated by John Wayne. Can anyone help?

    I had a similar event in High School more years ago than I care to admit. I never forgot it. My Science teacher held a vial labelled “Urea Salt” and he said it had been distilled from human urine. He proceeded to wet his finger, dip it in the vial, then lick his finger. He then challenged anyone else to do it. A lad of my slight acquaintance [not the sharpest pencil in the box!] took up the gauntlet and dipped in his wetted finger. Before he could lick it, the teacher grabbed his hand and explained that he’d wetted and dipped his middle finger but licked his index finger.

    Reply
  37. boredingeometry(: says

    May 10, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    haha(:
    being stupid does suck(:
    suckaaaaas

    Reply
  38. Abraham says

    June 3, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…NO! That is just wrong

    Reply
  39. Okami says

    June 13, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    LAWL! Omg what a stupid class. I probably would have barfed when he did it but that just goes to show you, PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS!

    Reply
  40. Chase says

    June 22, 2010 at 1:47 am

    Lol , it is SO funny ! Those students are stupid !

    Reply
  41. Parti Gyrl says

    August 14, 2010 at 12:32 am

    Lol i wanna be a vet when i grow up but not if they want me 2 do that

    Reply
  42. James says

    July 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    I heard this joke before. I believe it was on a Swank magazine.

    Reply

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