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You are here: Home / Jokes / Letter From Wal-Mart

Letter From Wal-Mart

August 23, 2007 by F&J Staff 26 Comments

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets so bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton gets this letter from Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, “Code 3 in house wares”… and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!”

And last, but certainly not least…

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

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Filed Under: Jokes, Male Jokes

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Comments

  1. beccy says

    August 23, 2007 at 6:07 pm

    that was so funny

    Reply
  2. lizett says

    August 23, 2007 at 8:51 pm

    and then

    Reply
  3. lucy says

    August 24, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    it was ok but it needs a punch line wat happens it is just a letter

    Reply
  4. yo peeps! says

    August 24, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    ya, I agree with lucy

    Reply
  5. Free says

    September 12, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    I thought I was funny

    Reply
  6. Rob says

    September 16, 2007 at 3:04 pm

    It was funny, but also realize it’s been around for years…this is the first time I’ve seen it with the format of a letter addressed to someone. Usually it was just entitled “Fifteen funny things to do at Wal-Mart”

    Reply
  7. Joshua says

    September 23, 2007 at 8:59 am

    Ha I just came up with another one (on phone) What those free samples of chicken cassarole got mixed with Rat Poison thanks for the pointer

    Reply
  8. RoRo says

    September 24, 2007 at 10:52 pm

    yh i agree with rob! i recievd an email once, but not in letter form, jus title fifteen things to at wal-mart while your partner is shopping! the other version was much better! 😀

    Reply
  9. mcky says

    September 28, 2007 at 6:48 am

    its not funny

    Reply
  10. Kiara says

    October 5, 2007 at 9:51 am

    hahaha I thought it was halarious!

    Reply
  11. lil chunty says

    October 19, 2007 at 11:40 am

    funny very funny

    Reply
  12. sanaa says

    October 30, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    I liked it ..

    Reply
  13. BABE~GURL says

    November 8, 2007 at 5:36 pm

    i can totaly see myself doing that

    Reply
  14. Shane says

    November 10, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    dats alrite

    Reply
  15. Evan says

    November 26, 2007 at 11:39 pm

    THAT WAS SOOO HILARIOUS!

    Reply
  16. Jade Eyes says

    May 13, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    I’ll bet Wal-Mart employees do this kind of stuff all the time. :O)

    Reply
  17. LiL Misz QT says

    September 27, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    Mr.Fenton is childish but funny

    Reply
  18. 19RAD says

    November 13, 2008 at 9:21 pm

    LMAO hilarious!

    Reply
  19. Sid says

    December 25, 2008 at 4:15 am

    MCKY , u don’t find it funny? u must be a relative of hitler

    Reply
  20. :P says

    March 30, 2009 at 9:39 am

    funny stuff =P

    Reply
  21. hello! says

    March 31, 2009 at 10:39 am

    that’s really funny!

    those who dont like it must be related to hitler

    Reply
  22. amma says

    May 17, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    too funny i could see my hubby doing these sorts of things .

    Reply
  23. Nomuthi says

    August 8, 2009 at 6:19 am

    WoW,what a funny joke!!!

    Reply
  24. ib606 says

    April 20, 2011 at 8:37 am

    Taken from “333 things to do to get kicked out of Walmart”. Look it up, there are many more good ones

    Reply
  25. wennie says

    May 20, 2012 at 7:39 pm

    i love it it was funny … it made me think of my friend adan

    Reply
  26. HelenBack says

    July 22, 2012 at 10:23 am

    Funny

    Reply

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