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You are here: Home / Jokes / Clean Jokes / Letter From A Farm Kid

Letter From A Farm Kid

August 6, 2007 by F&J Staff 48 Comments

(Now at Camp Pendleton, San Diego, Marine Corps Recruit Training)
Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay… practically nothing. Men got to shave but it’s not so bad… there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you ’til noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6″ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8″ and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

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Filed Under: Clean Jokes, Jokes, Redneck Jokes

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Comments

  1. Amanda says

    August 6, 2007 at 3:03 pm

    I think it is trying to be an insult to the US Army, and that is sad. Sounds like an idiot joke to me.

    Reply
  2. Joe says

    August 6, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    The Marine Corps actually, and it’s not meant to put down the Marines per se – more specifically the “city folk”. And, not even that really, more so just saying how tough country folk are.

    Reply
  3. ILUVYOU says

    August 6, 2007 at 11:32 pm

    I THINK IT IT HAS SOMETHING TO INSULT US USA.
    REMEMBER IF YOU ARE A FARMER GIRL WHO IS WHITE
    YOU HAD BLCK PEOPLE AS SLAVE AND THAT IS JUST SAD.
    TO THINK OF IT WHEN THE WORLD ENDS WE START A NEW ONE
    AND WHO KNOWS GOD MIGHT MAKE YOU BORN IN THE PILGRIM
    TIME OR SLAVE TIME OR CILVIL WAR.
    SO I THINK THIS SHOULD BE DELEATED.
    AND I PRAY FOR WHOEVER MADE THIS JOKE
    AND POST IT I PRAY YOU LIVE IN THE 2000
    AND I SAY YOU BETTER GO TO CHURCH AND START PRAYIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
    • GoneWithTheWind says

      March 16, 2017 at 6:53 pm

      Grow up. Your rediculous

      Reply
  4. oli says

    August 7, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    i think this joke is the worst joke i have ever read

    Reply
  5. Jodie says

    August 7, 2007 at 11:49 pm

    I think this joke is pretty good, i don’t understand why it would offend anyone really.

    Reply
  6. tamatoa says

    August 8, 2007 at 2:10 pm

    i think this joke is really good i have no idea why it offends so much people.
    whoever made this joke, i think u did a good job..

    Reply
  7. Rebekah says

    August 8, 2007 at 6:53 pm

    omgoodness!!! this is so funny. i am a farm girl myself, so i get it. I thought it was okay until the end when i found out it was a girl…well, that was the point where i burst out laughing…and to the people who think it is offensive to the USA. well, maybe you guys need to be insulted a bit…lighten up, will you?? seriously.

    Reply
  8. melody chandler says

    August 9, 2007 at 11:00 am

    I think that this is a very good joke and if it insults anyone I think that you should be honest enough to admit that the truth hurts. I have lived both lives and this is the facts of life.!!!!!!

    Reply
  9. F&J Staff says

    August 9, 2007 at 3:33 pm

    Melody, were you a boy and a girl?

    Reply
  10. bee says

    August 14, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    my friend just left for the marines and i thought the joke was pretty funny, it wasnt meant to be an insult to anyone it wasnt putting the marines down, everyones just reading to into it

    Reply
  11. stacy says

    August 14, 2007 at 10:44 pm

    If you think this was geared to offend any part of the military, you need to check your ignorant status, and check into a physc facility. Its a joke, nothing more, and nothing less. like a good fat, skinny, gay, redneck joke. IT’S JUST A JOKE!!! YOU SHOULD NEVER READ ANOTHER JOKE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!! PLEASE STOP READING NOW!!! GO HOME, AND TAKE A NAP!!! YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

    Reply
  12. tony says

    August 22, 2007 at 10:07 pm

    Anyone insulted by this joke is much to thin skinned and looking for some “politicallly incorect” story to gripe about. Grow Up! Lugh a little. It’s ok to laugh..

    Reply
  13. madison says

    August 29, 2007 at 9:38 pm

    why is this joke so offensive, its just like blonde jokes. its good to laugh at yourself and others(as long as its not serious}

    Reply
  14. Melissa says

    September 8, 2007 at 11:01 pm

    why cant anyone just take it as it is…it is just a damn redneck joke, no sense in getting all political and shit…I am a white girl raised in the back woods myself, and I find it rather funny…cause to be honest with you the things she talks about in the letter is true……..

    Reply
  15. Mike says

    September 14, 2007 at 10:20 am

    Marines… Pffffft. Branch of the Navy, not the Military

    Reply
  16. Rachel says

    September 14, 2007 at 10:24 pm

    I think this joke is really funny, and i really don’t get why some people are offended by it! I thought it was halarious, because those bulls-eyes on those targets are really easy to hit lol it aint like they r movin…gah..lol

    Reply
  17. party girl says

    September 24, 2007 at 10:27 am

    im a country girl myself so this is pretty hilarious! people seriously need to lighten up! The point is that a country girl kicked a city guys ass! Which i think is pretty damn funny! so please learn to laugh!!!!!! for the entire worlds sake!

    Reply
  18. RoRo says

    September 25, 2007 at 8:13 pm

    hahahahahaha! if only i was strong as her! 😀

    Reply
  19. ry says

    October 1, 2007 at 11:46 am

    you people suck at taking a joke it is called funny and JOKES . COM SO LIGHTEN UP YOU bunch OF whiners one joke and you cry either racism or mean just shut up

    Reply
  20. Daisy says

    October 2, 2007 at 4:02 pm

    This was hilarious. Those of you who are taking this as an affront to the military or to the country really need to lighten up. Relax. Reread the joke and this time try to keep an open mind. Somehow I get the feeling that the people offended are ones who tell really bad blond, black, hispanic, redneck, and gay jokes and that they are the only ones who laugh at them. Just a hunch. Anyway, great joke, especially the part about the target practice. LOL

    Reply
  21. way says

    October 3, 2007 at 4:44 pm

    get a life will ya? it is a funny JOKE, not a racist or bigoted attack against anyone. besides, us country folk can kick ass.

    Reply
  22. Amy says

    October 6, 2007 at 9:51 pm

    mannnn Americans r so so so so dumb no really they r…. God they annoy me

    Reply
  23. frankis kinder says

    October 15, 2007 at 7:00 pm

    dah dah dah dah you peeople have problems many of them this joke is dumb but you don’t have to have a baby over it ….. jease make up your own jokes whoever gets them off here LAME.. so listen up a country girl could never beat me up… they would probably brake their nuckles on my chest..

    Reply
  24. frankis kinder says

    October 15, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    and as I said before but this dumb fillter system screwed with you all are acting like you are on pills with a passion… you all are about as smart as a jap, srry amy the truth had to be told.. so get yo dankasslumpynuts off of the frickencomputer… chubbies I am funny without the internet why can’t you just make fun of yourselves it would make this wall funnier instead of having your weak little insults posted all over this frikinthing..

    Reply
  25. Peach says

    November 28, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    Grow up. It’s a joke you morons.

    Reply
  26. RAD19 says

    January 17, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    ROFLMAO !!
    it was a girl all along !
    i sure didnt see that coming XD

    Reply
  27. Former Marine says

    February 14, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    This joke is great! All of you who do not like this joke or think it is offensive to the Marines do not really love America. This joke is a testament to how tough and resilient the America people truly are. Everybody knows how tough the Marines are, for a little old common country girl to say it is easier then country life shows average common Americas are harder then one would think. Also city boys are democrats and country folks are republicans. Everybody knows republicans are tougher then democrats!

    Reply
  28. KATELYN says

    March 15, 2008 at 10:12 am

    SERIOUSLY, IF YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT A HARMLESS JOKE LIKE THIS I WOULD HATE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE! IT’S A FUNNY JOKE, IT DOESN’T MAKE FUN OF ANYTHING, IT’S JUST PLAYING ON STEREO TYPES. I LOVED IT, AND I AM REPOSTING IT!

    Reply
  29. CD says

    September 4, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    This is funny, and in no way an insult to America in my opinion.
    Former Marine is exactly right, except for the Democrat part, in my opinion.

    Reply
  30. Shelby says

    September 5, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    I thought this joke was really funny. I agree with Rebekah. It makes sense to me. Everyone else is just complaining because they obviously have no sense of humer. lol..

    Reply
  31. Tyler says

    October 6, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    I larfed. I also noticed that all the country folk liked it.

    P.S. Amen Former Marine.

    Reply
  32. hannah bananabell says

    January 3, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    Former Marine you rock! so true about the republican thing totally!
    Any way I thought it was a pretty good joke. Really liked how it was a girl in the end. great job former marine and the maker of this joke.

    Reply
  33. Lucas says

    December 12, 2009 at 8:33 pm

    wecome to the south. our women are tougher than you men. makes you feel like you need to step it up alittle dont it?
    well i rekon yall think this is an insult..but its nothing but down home truth.
    southern women are strong AND pretty.

    Reply
  34. sadeng says

    January 17, 2010 at 7:52 am

    Lol! If she feels this way being in the Marine recruit camp, what will she have written about army boot camp? Hahahahahaha

    Reply
  35. I luv Sam says

    January 25, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    i rather enjoyed this joke, and i don’t see how this offended anyone! it’s only a joke, after all!

    Reply
  36. Trevor says

    February 8, 2010 at 3:00 pm

    This is just dumb. Not even funny.

    Reply
  37. angie says

    February 13, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    Ya know its so sad how people think they are more knowledge about things then country folk!! Country folk know how to live and eat too. And for all the people that think its an insult obviously you don’t have anything better to do than to sit and nag about something. My gosh ITS A JOKE!!! Haha. I think its so funny.Everyone that I know that has read it says its hilarious.

    Reply
  38. Spiderman says

    March 3, 2010 at 3:02 am

    R u signle ANGIE?

    Reply
  39. lawrence ernest says

    March 16, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    this joke was really good.

    It shows the difference between a hard farm life & prehaps, some out of shape city dwellers that play games on their tv sets & might not have proper work ethics.

    I was begining to turn into a couch potatoe until I bought a wood stove and had to chop a winter’s supply of wood in two months because I didn’t have enough money for fuel oil & didn’t qualify for energy assistance.

    Of course, next year , with the money I saved by not buying fuel oil, I bought a 22 ton gasoline log splitter, but I still cut, with a chain saw, split, with a hydralic splitter, haul with a wheel barrow & stack the wood, by hand.

    Long story short, I went from a flabby 185lbs to 150 lbs of solid muscle & a first time in my life flat stomach & toughened up some & saved a good bit of money from my proir years fuel bill, to boot.

    I pity some kids that might be spoiled by their parents & then have to go out into the real world & somehow make a living ,all unprepaired for lives realities.

    There really is a lesson to be learned from the joke. little may some know what awaits.

    I am 61 & still cutting splitting & hauling wood. I don’t need to do it any more ,financially, but I enjoy doing it for the extercise & the fun of it. It keeps me fit. FYI, I am definately a red neck, even though I gave up drinking beer a long time ago,
    since I have 7 cars & 3 pu trucks but only 4 that run. The other 8 are storage units now. I almost ferget, 1 motor coach that runs & 1 moble home& a $200,000 house,after the real estate crash..

    I finally sold my boat because it was sitting in the drive way for 12 years. But I still have my gun collection. oh & I live in connecticut so you dont have to be a southerner to be a red neck.
    And ,my motor coach and moble home has curtains but my house don’t.
    I altogether resemble too many of those you might be a red neck jokes to deny it. Think of me as a poorer & older, with a smaller house– Ted Nugent (all his cars run!) & he has more giutars & plays them tons better, than me, too!

    The boy scout moto is right—Be Prepaired! Knowledge is power & a man is only as good as his tools. Keep a financial cusion to fall back on when times get tough but have your fun while your still young enough to enjoy it.

    Reply
  40. Bill says

    April 20, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    If you thought this joke was insulting, —– You’ve lost your sense of humor and you need to find it. Get over yourself. Stop being so sensitive. No wonder this world is in the shape it is. No one can laugh it off anymore. It could have been Army, Navy or Airforce. It just so happen to be a Marine. A tough Girl Marine at that who knows what farm life is all about. Period, get over it.

    Reply
  41. Lorili says

    June 12, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    why is this offensive? theres nothing wrong with it. I thought it was funny. But then, I am a farmgirl myself and I can handle more than alot of cityboys could. I am not bragging. Its just a fact of life that country girls are country tuff!

    Reply
  42. layne larson says

    June 25, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    This is the funniest story ever….

    Reply
  43. West Side Story Fan says

    July 28, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    What I don’t get is why everyone thinks this is offensive. JUST LAUGH AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE! (And yes, I am acting like you actually have a life even though you obviously don’t.)

    Reply
  44. Jake says

    September 10, 2010 at 7:32 pm

    I have never posted on a site before—forgive me Lord—
    dont know weather to laugh at you folks or feel sad–does any of yall read what you type afore yall post??????

    Reply
  45. Don says

    March 11, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    oh i see its ok to laugh at country folk only when insulting them.but not when they prove to be better at something.get over it we are better.

    Reply
  46. APR says

    March 22, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    This has been doing the rounds for years, but still makes me laugh.
    I can’t believe there are people who take it seriously.

    Reply
  47. https://diigo.com/0dfbpa says

    January 30, 2019 at 11:36 am

    Buy the best ѕeԝing scisѕors that you can afford.

    Reply

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