I haven’t quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never really figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t fee like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said “WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT?”
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.” Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?”
I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”
Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.
ha ha ha! wat a luzer!
I just want YOU to hold me tight in your arms and screw me like theres no tomorrow
haha nice one!
now that was hilarious. the girl is such a moron!
Yeah i’d want to be held…….really close and really tight! She’s just stupid!
WOW!! That wasnt worth it. Tht was real stupid…..Smh…
this was freaking hilarious….guy was an asshole but she deserved it.
dat serves her right, dnt worry u wuld defntyl get wat u want frm her tonite.
haha serves her right
i loved the joke, Hope I can apply it tomorrow. Because I know what I’m gonna here tonight when were in bed
lol this one is good
this was a gud one lol
beeeaauutiful…!!!!!
lol un-predictabley smart :):):)
i love it dat was gud
i liked the ending
=D
LOL!!!!
im comment 18 yay
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Pretty good. I’ve heard this one before
now that was funny!
dude!!!!!!…tht was gud
women need to understand men too…its not just abt them…
guys, isnt tht true??
Oh, that guy’s good.
hahahah lol thats funny
haha thats well funny
phew boy you dig up
that was absolute wnk!!
must be a yank joke coz it aint funny! not the greatest country for humour…nor anything else!!
I so gonna use that. lets hope bf has not read or heard of this joke
lol.. thats funny..
LOL IT SUCKED MY BAWLZ X20
hahahahha damn funny
it got me stucked at a sentence hold me…
A killer. Wow. LOL.
I dnt get it!
shoulda just said “holding’s for after, darlin”
countered very nicely
Ah, that reminds me of one of my past girl friends. She didn’t talk much to anyone, and all she wanted to do was cuddle. That was just fine until… Well all “guys” should know what I was going to type next.
Haha probably the best payback of all times!!! id be mad but id completely understand where he was coming from haha