• Kids Jokes
  • Knock Knock Jokes
  • Yo Mama Jokes
  • Dirty Jokes

Funny & Jokes

Browse literally thousands of totally free funny jokes, riddles, cartoons, pictures, videos and more. Most popular humor and joke blog on the internet.

  • Jokes
    • Bar Jokes
    • Birthday Jokes
    • Blonde Jokes
    • Bumper Stickers
    • Clean Jokes
    • Dirty Jokes
    • Doctor Jokes
    • Female Jokes
    • Gay Jokes
    • Golf Jokes
    • Insults and Cutdowns
    • Knock Knock Jokes
    • Lawyer Jokes
    • Little Johnny Jokes
    • Male Jokes
    • One Liner Jokes
    • Other Jokes
    • Police Jokes
    • Political Jokes
    • Redneck Jokes
    • Religious Jokes
    • Stupid Jokes
    • Yo Mama Jokes
  • Funny News
  • Funny Pictures
  • Videos
    • Car Videos
    • Commercials
    • Cool Videos
    • Funny Videos
    • Shocking Videos
    • Sports Videos
  • Other Stuff
    • Comics
    • Games
    • Riddles
    • Illusions
You are here: Home / Jokes / Insults and Cutdowns / How About Some Insults?

How About Some Insults?

September 25, 2007 by F&J Staff 62 Comments

Feeling alittle dumpy today? Take it out on the people around you with a few well timed, randomly spewed insults. Don’t like the way your co-worker is looking at you? Try one of these…

  • You couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
  • You must have fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  • You have an intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
  • You’re few cards short of a full deck. (yea I know that’s old)
  • You’re a few fries short of a Happy Meal. (yea yea, old too)
  • You’re about as smart as bait.
  • I think the wheel’s spinning but the hamster’s dead. (I like this one)
  • I think the cheese slid off his cracker. (WTF?)
  • You must have been an experiment in artificial stupidity.

Sharing is caring!

  • Facebook0
  • Twitter
  • Google+0
  • Pinterest0

Filed Under: Insults and Cutdowns, Jokes

What'd you think about this joke?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (285 votes, average: 2.38 out of 5)
Loading...

Related Jokes

  • Yo Mama’s Breath Is So Bad…
  • I Feel Insulted
  • Hi John, How You Doing?
  • Top 10 Party Games for People Over 50
  • Performance Evaluation Quotes

Comments

  1. Sally says

    September 25, 2007 at 11:19 am

    I like the hampster one too heehee 🙂

    Reply
  2. Jessica says

    September 25, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    these insults are kinda corny, actually. they’re okay, tho.

    Reply
  3. Chendi says

    September 26, 2007 at 11:57 am

    some of it was funnie. good job =)

    Reply
  4. jessica says

    September 29, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    i dont actualythink its funny,but on the plus side its better than nothing:(:(:( has any1 got any mprefunny,proper funny jokes that will getme laughing?my emailadress is cheekyboo123@hotmail.com

    add me
    xxx

    Reply
  5. adam says

    September 30, 2007 at 5:15 am

    heres one,
    youre so ulgy you can make an onion cry
    also
    looks like its anouther case of consterpation of the brain and dhyorria (spelt rong) of the mouth

    Reply
  6. Aquaterry says

    October 1, 2007 at 8:16 am

    these are really bad, Igot some better ones: you know what would make you look good? Distance!
    when you get in a liuft, it has to go down!

    Reply
  7. Geni says

    October 9, 2007 at 5:36 am

    You’re ’bout as dumb as a bag of hammers. (said by George Clooney in “O, Brother, Where art thou?”)

    Reply
  8. funforall says

    October 13, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    the good ones were the 1s tha the other people made up in comments. my addy is freestyle.speed@hotmail.co.uk (add.me)

    Reply
  9. laughinoutloud says

    October 14, 2007 at 7:12 pm

    real talk MAD CORNY

    Reply
  10. Alexa says

    October 15, 2007 at 5:29 pm

    These were too weird i mean would you actually tell these to one of your enemies while around people.

    Reply
  11. ketso says

    October 16, 2007 at 8:13 am

    i smell cheese

    Reply
  12. samm says

    October 16, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    uhhh yea these are ok but not that funnyy..kinda corny but still insults
    ~SAM~

    Reply
  13. Devin Cominskie says

    October 16, 2007 at 2:32 pm

    HELLO AFGHANISTAN!!!

    Reply
  14. tommy says

    October 16, 2007 at 9:30 pm

    u suck try somthing funny like u smell like hyeena spit you smell like panda lips your hair looks like a dirty mop your 1 reeses peices away from obesse

    Reply
  15. Tom H says

    October 21, 2007 at 9:22 am

    Heres a few……….. Theres more whine comeing out of you than a vineard. He’s not only on a different sheet of music but also in a different concert hall

    Reply
  16. Shivaughnn says

    October 22, 2007 at 11:07 pm

    wonder why….. free time really kills but thanks for lightening up my day/night

    Reply
  17. cruelsinger says

    October 27, 2007 at 1:17 am

    Isn’t it illegal to be that ugly?

    Reply
  18. BABE~GURL says

    October 29, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    its ok to be ugly but your over doing, or wow thats out of sight why can’t you?
    Guinness called they want your picture for the ugliest person

    Reply
  19. jae says

    November 5, 2007 at 3:42 am

    sooo bad and corny mi sister makes up betta 1’s and she has like no scence if humor lol kk bye ppl x0x

    Reply
  20. alan says

    November 7, 2007 at 3:17 pm

    heh heh the artificial stupidity is great.

    Reply
  21. Anti Christ says

    November 11, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    lol i like them all :D.

    Reply
  22. krissy (L) says

    November 22, 2007 at 5:43 am

    they aree pretty funi although it takes me like ages to get jokes lol cauz im so blonde haha add me on msn krissy-is-da-bomb@hotmail.com i love talkin to and meeting new people im a very friendly person hehe

    love krissy xx please add me 🙂

    Reply
  23. BTrimble says

    November 27, 2007 at 4:14 pm

    WOW NEVER THOUGHT ID FIND SO MANY GAY PEOPLE IN ONE SPOT

    Reply
  24. kayla says

    December 3, 2007 at 12:07 am

    eh……?

    Reply
  25. chrissy says

    December 8, 2007 at 10:46 am

    i got a reall good one
    *ahem*
    YOUR SO STUPID YOU GOT LOCKED IN THE PUBLIC TOILETS AND YOU PISSED YOURSELF!!!

    XD

    Reply
  26. me says

    December 16, 2007 at 8:16 pm

    yall gay

    Reply
  27. Jack says

    December 18, 2007 at 9:31 am

    Your Just like the sun but your not very bright

    Reply
  28. Jack says

    December 18, 2007 at 9:34 am

    Your so cheap you climb under the stall door in a pay restroom

    Reply
  29. Jack says

    December 18, 2007 at 9:36 am

    If i had a dollar for every good idea you ever had i would owe money.

    Reply
  30. Jack says

    December 18, 2007 at 9:37 am

    your so dumb you got ran over by a parked car

    Reply
  31. Eoin says

    January 5, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Your village called, they want their idiot back.

    Reply
  32. virginity loser says

    January 23, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    eoin that is funny. those things were funny as well.

    Reply
  33. Danielle says

    January 26, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    Your so dumb u Poured salt water in ya pants 2 keep ya crabs fresh.

    Reply
  34. 19RAD says

    February 6, 2008 at 4:05 am

    i dont think anyone would get the chesse one o.0

    Reply
  35. lazeena says

    February 20, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    oh yeah i got it 1.1

    Reply
  36. 1 SeXy MaN says

    March 5, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    yall are all crazy but i like all tha ladies

    Reply
  37. Rojik says

    March 19, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    Your so ugly your mum had to tie meat around your neck just to get the dog to play with you

    Reply
  38. unknown says

    March 25, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    You guys are soo funny.Im laughingso much mystomach hurts

    Reply
  39. Robbie says

    March 29, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    i dont understand the one about the wheel spinning but the hamsters dead…

    Reply
  40. Black Mamba TruAfrican says

    April 11, 2008 at 7:34 am

    Here is one more: you are such a disgrace to yo mum; whenever she looks at you she thinks: I wish I had used a condom

    Reply
  41. kayki says

    April 17, 2008 at 1:56 pm

    i dont get the smart as bait one!!! ??? the comments are funnier than the joke!!

    Reply
  42. SHANKAL says

    April 26, 2008 at 4:24 pm

    the comments were funny. specially that condom one 🙂

    Reply
  43. Derrick says

    May 1, 2008 at 12:16 am

    Your Mom shoulda swallowed you!

    Reply
  44. sarah w. says

    May 5, 2008 at 1:28 pm

    all these were dumb. eoin, now you’re funny. robbie and kayki, you’re a few bricks short of a full load.

    Reply
  45. Glenn says

    May 11, 2008 at 8:38 am

    Some more insults:
    Last I heard your brain cell died of loneliness
    If you had an IQ of 5 more points you’d be a cretin
    You’re so ugly, the doctor slapped your mother when you were born
    If you keep shaking your head your 2 brain cells will ignite
    If you had a brain cell you’d be dangerous

    Reply
  46. ella bits says

    May 14, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    dumb

    Reply
  47. PIMPN says

    May 21, 2008 at 11:53 pm

    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

    Reply
  48. pat says

    June 16, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    i agree wit pimpin

    Reply
  49. Simon says

    June 18, 2008 at 12:58 am

    You are the poster child for abortion

    You are the reason why people should use condoms

    When I look at you, I know why some animals eat their young

    Reply
  50. frosty says

    June 25, 2008 at 9:25 pm

    if a bird had ur brain it would fly backwards

    i’ve seen better conversations in my alphabit soup

    Reply
  51. jacorazz says

    September 17, 2008 at 8:01 am

    i will watch your monkey for you

    Reply
  52. monica says

    March 22, 2009 at 6:51 pm

    Some village is missing their idiot

    Reply
  53. liza says

    July 12, 2009 at 9:13 am

    why dont u do us all a favour pull your lip over your haed and swollow

    Reply
  54. emmanuel says

    December 18, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    ewww whats that ” what” oh nothing it’s just your face

    Reply
  55. Ashliii says

    February 17, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    didn’t i dissect you in biology class?

    Reply
  56. Briana says

    March 19, 2010 at 12:49 am

    “blah blah blah, yeah well let me tell you how much i care……………………….there i’m done. now you can go cut yourself.”

    Reply
  57. sydney says

    June 8, 2010 at 12:24 am

    we all sprang from apes, you just didn’t spring far enough

    Reply
  58. Lex says

    June 24, 2010 at 12:03 am

    “Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.”

    Reply
  59. richie says

    August 8, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    how you can be that ugly with only one head!

    Reply
  60. richie says

    August 8, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    if you had a brain you would be halfway to being stupid!

    Reply
  61. ramo says

    March 26, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    the last time you got a piece of ass you’re fingers went through the toilet paper

    Reply
  62. qwerty says

    February 27, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    i cant believe you can fall that far back in the evolution chain

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Jokes

  • Top 20 Chemistry Jokes of Some Time
  • God Will Save Me!
  • Getting Married in Heaven
  • From Riches to Rags
  • 11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser

Recent Comments

  • Vivian McNally on Do You Have Any Grapes?
  • Stephen on Military Acronyms
  • Charletta McCall on Politics Made Simple
  • fffff on FFFFFFFFF
  • Marie-Hélène Archimbaud on Eats Shoots And Leaves

Copyright © 2005-2021 Funny & Jokes • All rights reserved. • Privacy Policy • Terms of Service