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You are here: Home / Jokes / God Will Save Me!

God Will Save Me!

November 18, 2013 by F&J Staff 4 Comments

Somewhere in the Southeastern United States, probably Louisiana or Arkansas (you know, the bible belt), a huge hurricane came through and threatened to take out an entire town. At the local church, people were praying.

funny pastor jokeTheir pastor, a fervent young man, asked for people to remain calm and wait for God’s help. Mid-prayer, the flood waters began to rise up the the floor of the chapel. People began panicking and running out of the building. The pastor urged people to seek shelter, and when friends asked him to leave, he said “No. I’m going to stay with the church. I believe God will save me.”

As flood waters continued to rise, his friends gave up and left him at the church.Eventually the pastor had to climb out the top floor’s window and make his way to the roof. While standing there, a rescue boat came for him. They tried to persuade him to get on, but all he would say is “No. I’m going to stay with the church. I believe God will save me.”

A short while later, the water had swelled past the height of the roof. The pastor had to climb to the very top of the church and hang onto the bell tower. While hanging there, a rescue helicopter came looking for him. He shouted up the the helicopter “stop trying to rescue me! God will save me!”

The helicopter left, the water kept rising, and eventually the pastor drowned. He soon found himself standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. With sad eyes, the pastor asked St. Peter “why didn’t God save me?”

St. Peter, flabbergasted, replied “we sent your friends, a boat, and a helicopter! What else could we have done?”

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Filed Under: Jokes, Religious Jokes, Stupid Jokes

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Comments

  1. LD says

    July 18, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    Neither Louisiana nor Arkansas are part of the “Southeastern United States”.

    Reply
    • Bert buttlicker says

      August 3, 2020 at 11:00 am

      Pretty sure you’re wrong since anything on the southern border and east of Texas is Southeast America. Stick to harassing abortion clinics, that seems like your speciality.

      Reply
  2. Johnny Whitson says

    September 16, 2018 at 8:18 pm

    Well, I believe Arkansas is about 700 miled from the Gulf of Mexico and hurricanes. But the joke was somewhat funny. I can’t find much pleasure in jokes that use my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as part of a trivial joke. It’s vainity is disrespectful.

    Reply
    • Bert buttlicker says

      August 3, 2020 at 11:02 am

      Get over yourself! If your idea of God is so fragile that merely joking about his more ridiculous believers offends you, then maybe you should find a new hobby that will make you less of a snowflake.

      Reply

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