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You are here: Home / Jokes / Clean Jokes / God vs The Scientist

God vs The Scientist

February 21, 2008 by F&J Staff 44 Comments

God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist said to Him,  “God, we don’t need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing – in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning.”

“Oh, is that so? Explain…” replies God.  “Well,” says the scientist, “we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man.”

“Well, that’s very interesting… show Me.”

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man.  “No, no, no…” interrupts God, “Get your own dirt.”

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Filed Under: Clean Jokes, Jokes

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Comments

  1. KRISSY says

    February 27, 2008 at 2:09 am

    THATS GAY!!! DUMB AND RETARDED

    Reply
  2. buldit says

    February 27, 2008 at 2:52 am

    “THATS GAY!!! DUMB AND RETARDED” – Krissy

    The only one i see who’s gay, dumb and retarded is you. You don’t get it? Go get yourself a brain.

    Reply
  3. Kateihwa says

    February 27, 2008 at 9:51 am

    That is not funny.

    Reply
  4. reece says

    February 27, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    yawn

    Reply
  5. alex says

    February 27, 2008 at 10:58 pm

    wasn’t funny, but at least you got respect for the big man. I love the lord

    Reply
  6. Da MIGHTy1 says

    February 28, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    WHaT Da F**K That was the DUMBEST joKE Ive EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heard!!!! I mean THE POINT was????????????????????

    Reply
  7. funmite says

    March 1, 2008 at 6:49 am

    learn to show regards for GOD

    Reply
  8. Hatim says

    March 2, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    # Da MIGHTy1 Says:
    February 28th, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    WHaT Da F**K That was the DUMBEST joKE Ive EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heard!!!! I mean THE POINT was????????????????????
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    MORON ! THE POINT IS “TRY TO CREATE THIS DIRT FIRST, BEFORE TALKING ABOUT CREATING A HUMAN BEING”

    Reply
  9. Me says

    March 3, 2008 at 7:05 am

    …???…

    Reply
  10. Jared says

    March 3, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    Lol, I thought that was hilarious, totally something I would say. HA

    Reply
  11. --Amber says

    March 10, 2008 at 11:54 am

    HaHa that was the best joke EVER!!!<3Pc

    Reply
  12. tsepo says

    March 18, 2008 at 7:30 am

    I’M ALSO GLAD YOU RESPECTED THE BIG MAN

    Reply
  13. Athiesim unites says

    March 20, 2008 at 5:34 am

    Guys…Funny, yes, but that argument is only valid if a mythical man in the sky came down and made everything…Which is not needed, what ith gravity, pressure and space dust and all. Feel free to hate me-but remember, in the USA, Athiests outnumber Jews 2 to 1. Athiests Unite!

    Reply
  14. Jake says

    March 30, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    stupid jokes.. where exctly was the punch line? ohh make ur own dirt.. funny guy

    Reply
  15. me says

    April 18, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    not that bad.

    pretty funny

    Reply
  16. Black Mamba TruAfrican says

    April 22, 2008 at 8:06 am

    Oh foolish atheists, who has bewitched u to that extent? Cant u giv God the respect He deserves? I send God’s curse upon u. May u burn to ashes!!!!!!!Hatim, you’re the guy!!! thumbs up 4u. enough respect to da almighty

    Reply
  17. joe says

    April 26, 2008 at 11:20 pm

    yo who created gravity???

    Reply
  18. joe says

    April 26, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    that was for the athiest

    Reply
  19. Marissa says

    May 9, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    I thought it was funny….

    Reply
  20. *JaY08chasm* says

    May 27, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    i get it…but its not funny….

    Reply
  21. Nick says

    July 18, 2008 at 4:56 am

    i liked it

    Reply
  22. Bukki Olujide says

    July 30, 2008 at 7:59 am

    i also liked it.rather than curse the atheists,let’s pray for them that they may get their senses back(atheism is a state of loss of sense).cursing them would only worsen their situation.

    Reply
  23. Radioactive Rewind says

    January 27, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    The point is, I think, no matter how far back the scientist trace it, that first atom had to come from somewhere.

    As Joe said, where did the gravity that shaped the Earth come from? The pressure? The space dust? Space itself? That one sudden spark of life? I must admit, I’m skeptical that it just suddenly *was*. Even if you believe that it was two atoms interacting, tell me where the atom came from.

    And please, people, be decent. Just because someone believes different then you doesn’t mean you can get away with cursing them. It’s still not right. A murderer, maybe. An aethiest, no. Have some respect, please.

    If you’re Christian, remember: (Mathew 7:3). And Jesus not only taught his fellow Jews; he sat witht the Gentiles, the heretics/non-believers of his day. HE DIDN”T TREAT THEM ANY DIFFERENTLY. If you’re trying to make an impact, rudeness and intolerance only turns people away.

    Personally, I think the joke is very funny. But that’s just me. Like I said, different strokes for different folks.

    God keep you, regardless of faith. 🙂

    Reply
    • Twisted_Code says

      May 24, 2020 at 12:05 pm

      thank you, I was just about to say something like that, but you said it better 11 years ago. By the way, sorry if this generates an unwanted email (though, that’s assuming you still have the same email you used 11 years ago)

      Reply
  24. Mike says

    June 7, 2009 at 6:44 am

    How can a joke trigger of religious instruction from some people? Your god must have had a sense of humour to produce you lot.

    Reply
    • Twisted_Code says

      May 24, 2020 at 12:02 pm

      “How can a joke trigger of religious instruction from some people? Your god must have had a sense of humour to produce you lot.”
      Isn’t that kind of like the pot calling the kettle black? After all, we believe he made you too.
      but you’re right, I don’t know why people don’t get the joke or think it’s offensive. I thought it was funny.

      Reply
  25. Keri says

    July 21, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    Go to google video, put in “Chuck Missler – Genesis Sessions”…nuff said!

    Reply
  26. Trevon says

    July 26, 2009 at 12:27 am

    I get it. its not really a joke, but more of a way to show you that no body is better than God. And to all you Atheist’s, i hope you come to your senses and start not being stupid and ignerent to the fact that there is a God who created all things. And u know what even further more emberasses you, i’m a 13yearold boy, and i’m smarter than you!!!!! oh, and to all believers, look me up in Heaven when u get there, Trevon Vivens=)

    Reply
  27. eviltumy says

    November 4, 2009 at 7:27 am

    not bad but not funny

    Reply
  28. da juber jaber says

    December 23, 2009 at 9:06 am

    “i’m a 13yearold boy, and i’m smarter than you!!!!! “(Trevon)

    if your going to call a large group of people stupid and brag about how much smarter you are than them use spellcheck

    Reply
  29. D says

    January 8, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    It has a point, but not funny

    Reply
  30. dudi says

    March 28, 2010 at 11:28 am

    that’s because you don’t know God u idiots… so how else would u get this joke u ignorants!!!

    Reply
  31. Alex says

    May 10, 2010 at 8:54 pm

    Well its a kind of obvious joke that my pastor used to explain stuff. its saying that god made that dirt himself to make us so can they really make humans out of THERE!! dirt

    Reply
  32. nichan says

    August 2, 2010 at 7:51 am

    haizztt….its not funny but i realy amazed to God..and for the unbeliever he is speechless

    Reply
  33. ajay says

    August 4, 2010 at 7:00 am

    This is a joke site you morons…should be funny stuff here…seems like the bible thumpers wanna take over everything….hmmmm

    Reply
  34. ThinkinLife says

    November 9, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    After reading the joke and seeing this discussion, I think the discussion is funnier than the joke, It always stuns me how many cattle being led to the slaughter there really are out here in the world.

    Religions can’t explain God, Aethiest are just idiots, and Science will never come close! Just stop for two seconds and think it through: Start with the basics, your alive in a world that is living around you with millions of different types of exsistence. On one hand want does a cat or dog believe about God, Somehow you might be surprised its probably different from anything you can come up with. Now to the real meat and bones, What or who created everything, Have you answer? Now what created that? and what created that? and so on. So at some point you’ll get tired of trying to think that through, and you’ll see the final point the answer your all looking for. Something had to create everything, Call him/or it what you want! All in all everything beyond that is just a rule to follow. The creator gave you the tools to govern yourself however most people are to egotistical to understand the basics.

    So again it’s simple, religion is MAN’s way of herding the people who can’t govern themselves to basic societal rules, Aethiest are just egotistical idiots who care nothing about societal rules and just want to be anti-social, Scientist are just people who can’t accept being herded and foolishly think they are smart enough to answer the what created everything question.

    At last the simple comment is “It’s a joke, laugh or don’t” stop flooding the board with this BS.

    Reply
  35. Jubul says

    November 28, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    God is great.Atheism is a disease.Hope one day this disease get eradicated just like small pox.

    Reply
  36. noname says

    September 11, 2011 at 10:49 am

    You guys didn’t get it? How come? That is pretty easy to get. God created everything. The scientist wouldn’t even be able to create anything if it wasn’t for God.

    Reply
  37. Bob says

    November 14, 2012 at 4:59 am

    GODZ ARE ALIENZ…

    Reply
  38. Bob says

    November 14, 2012 at 5:03 am

    Jus kiddin’…;-)

    Reply
  39. David says

    March 22, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    Very funny and clearly illustrates the Biblical truth that God created the universe from nothing. He spoke it into existence.

    Reply
  40. Michaela says

    April 28, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    It’s interesting to read these comments. I am writing a paper for my critical analysis and composition class that is titled, “Science and Religion are in an open relationship.” I am a Christian. I am also a science wiz. Now, as most people would believe that science and religion differ in too many ways to be in relation to each other, I see them as similar. Science can explain religion in many ways. Yes, God created the world and he is all being and powerful, and he is the reason that you and I are alive, but I believe that he created science because he knows there are doubters in this world. Even I find myself doubting him at times. However, every time I find myself doubting something about him, within a short amount of time, God proves that thing I was doubting. He does this through science. Science explains the simple questions we have such as: Why is grass green? How does the earth rotate? Why does the tide come so far in? and so on… Religion needs science, and science respects religion. No matter who or what you believe in, we all believe in something. No matter what a person believes in, it is not my place to judge or to slander them in any way shape or form. I respect you for what you believe. I hope that you would respect me as well. -College Student

    Reply
    • David Richard Smith says

      May 24, 2017 at 5:08 am

      Let us get this straight:
      Although Our Lord refers to G_D as The Father, He says plainly, that in Heaven, there is no male, and no female.
      So “Father” is an honorary title, and is inclusive of “Mother”, as Mankind is inclusive of Womankind.
      Actually, taking as fact, that Man is created in the image of G_D, and looking at molecular history, we find that Firstly, reproduction was Asexual: unicellular binary division was the first, and most primitive method. This was followed by Hermaphroditic reproduction, whereby either partner could be both father and mother. This applies primarily to slugs and snails. Bisexual reproduction is a very recent invention, and it seems to be caused by an error in the ‘X’ chromosome, which caused it to sometimes fracture, leaving the biggest fragment as the ‘Y’ chromosome.
      So that Female came first, and Male is a very recent invention.
      What can’t speak, can’t lie.

      So don’t get stuck on any theoretical principle based upon the masculinity of G_D. The Gospel(s) deny that, and so does molecular science.

      As an aside, how would a male G_D justify Male Genital Mutilation?

      As a scientist, I would consider that the Universe itself has an intelligence, in as much as the universe comprises the sum of its parts, and that includes all living beings, whether bugs, mites, microbes, viruses, or mankind. We have seen how individuals, on their own show very little intelligence, but when organised, as ants, or bees, they can construct artefacts which cause Man to wonder.

      Our Lord accepted himself to be a temple of G_D, and rebuked Peter when his faith failed, because Peter too, was a temple of G_D, as are we all.

      The error, which is what the name Satan means, is the belief that we are NOT the temple of G_D.
      That was the error of Lucifer.

      Bottom line: Do not try to define G_D: Like the origin of the universe, G_D is beyond definition.

      Reply
      • Acceptor says

        March 12, 2020 at 4:16 am

        Thank you! I admired your concept as much as your expression and definition of it!

        Reply

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