Somewhere, in some office or human resources department… an employee has had a performance evaluation. Most of the time these go well, with someone getting a raise or a boost in moral… other times… not so well. The following are actual quotes taken from various performance evaluation tests at a company (to remain anonymous). “Since my […]
Officer Pulls Over a Wiseguy
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. […]
You’re So… (Random)
You’re so dumb you thought Taco Bell was a phone company. You’re so fat when you jumped up you got stuck. You’re so fat you got baptized at Sea World. You’re so fat you laid down in the ocean and Spain claimed you as the New World. You’re so fat you saw 90210 on a […]
Insults and Cutdowns
A demitasse would fit his head like a sombrero. A guy with your IQ should have a low voice too! A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it. A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. After meeting you, I’ve decided I am in favor of […]
Political Insults
“What makes him think a middle aged actor, who’s played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?” – Ronald Reagan commenting on Eastwood’s bid to become mayor of Carmel “An empty suit that goes to funerals and plays golf.” – Ross Perot talking about Dan Quayle “I have never seen. . .so slippery, […]