• Kids Jokes
  • Knock Knock Jokes
  • Yo Mama Jokes
  • Dirty Jokes

Funny & Jokes

Browse literally thousands of totally free funny jokes, riddles, cartoons, pictures, videos and more. Most popular humor and joke blog on the internet.

  • Jokes
    • Bar Jokes
    • Birthday Jokes
    • Blonde Jokes
    • Bumper Stickers
    • Clean Jokes
    • Dirty Jokes
    • Doctor Jokes
    • Female Jokes
    • Gay Jokes
    • Golf Jokes
    • Insults and Cutdowns
    • Knock Knock Jokes
    • Lawyer Jokes
    • Little Johnny Jokes
    • Male Jokes
    • One Liner Jokes
    • Other Jokes
    • Police Jokes
    • Political Jokes
    • Redneck Jokes
    • Religious Jokes
    • Stupid Jokes
    • Yo Mama Jokes
  • Funny News
  • Funny Pictures
  • Videos
    • Car Videos
    • Commercials
    • Cool Videos
    • Funny Videos
    • Shocking Videos
    • Sports Videos
  • Other Stuff
    • Comics
    • Games
    • Riddles
    • Illusions
You are here: Home / Jokes / 15 Best Homer Simpson Quotes. Ever.

15 Best Homer Simpson Quotes. Ever.

January 1, 2009 by F&J Staff 104 Comments

I was a  big fan of the Simpson’s, can you believe how long the show has been around? Everyone has their favorite characters, but mine is definately Homer. This guy says the funniest (and often completely true) things. Here is a list of the all time best Homer Simpson quotes ever.

  1. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  2. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to Home Simpsonget one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
  3. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.
  4. I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
  5. Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
  6. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin… but what good does that do me?
  7. I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
  8. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.
  9. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  10. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
  11. Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
  12. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
  13. How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
  14. You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
  15. Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.

Well, that does it for me. If you’ve got anymore that I missed – or you have your own favorites, add them below in the comments. All the cool kids are doin’ it.

Sharing is caring!

  • Facebook0
  • Twitter
  • Google+1
  • Pinterest0

Filed Under: Jokes, One Liner Jokes, Stupid Jokes

What'd you think about this joke?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (208 votes, average: 4.30 out of 5)
Loading...

Related Jokes

  • Who’s Yo Daddy?
  • God Will Save Me!
  • 11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser
  • Wii Jokes
  • My Horse Tastes Just Like Raisins

Comments

  1. better says

    January 1, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    I’ll have two tax-burgers, one dependant size soda, and a fica-cino

    Reply
  2. Tina says

    January 4, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    They have the internet on computers now.

    Reply
  3. leon says

    January 6, 2009 at 7:33 pm

    Ahhh. Everyone’s stupid except me.
    (playing hookey from church, he says this just before falling asleep with a cigar and burns his house down)

    Reply
  4. lucy says

    January 8, 2009 at 5:10 am

    save me Jebus!

    Reply
  5. Ralph says

    January 8, 2009 at 9:42 am

    Ahhhh! The only thing dumber than you is me.

    Reply
  6. Joe says

    January 8, 2009 at 9:44 am

    Spiderpig spiderpig. Does whatever a spiderpig does.

    Reply
  7. Jim says

    January 8, 2009 at 10:04 am

    Doh!

    Reply
  8. chew chew says

    January 9, 2009 at 10:16 am

    uqh this one was funny
    hehehehehehehehe
    i loved it :))

    Reply
  9. IrritatedOyster says

    January 11, 2009 at 7:51 am

    Homer is definitely my favourite Simpsons character as well!

    Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don’t show up tomorrow don’t bother showing up on Monday.
    Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

    Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

    (sung to the Flintstones song): Simpson! Homer Simpson! He’s the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He’s about to hit a chestnut tree! *hits tree*

    What’s a wedding? Webster’s dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one’s garden.

    *Looks at Uruguay on a globe* Hee hee! Look at this country! ‘You are gay.’

    Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

    Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

    Reply
  10. marley says

    January 11, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    (sung) i am so smart! i am so smart! S – M – A – T i am so smart!

    Reply
    • Ahmad Zaher Barghouthy says

      June 19, 2017 at 7:07 pm

      S-m-r-t
      I mean s-m-a-r-t

      Reply
  11. Scarlet says

    January 14, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    “aww i have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?”

    “quit jiving me turkey! you’ve got to sass it. quit jiiiiiiving me turkey! you’ve got to sass it! (pause) a turkey is a bad person.”

    “don’t worry money. All that money is money.”

    “and did you know that jesus grew up to be…JESUS?”

    theres loadds more lol

    Reply
  12. Ms. Rainbow says

    January 22, 2009 at 9:10 am

    Marge, you’re as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda

    When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.

    If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can’t speak English.

    Reply
  13. kay says

    January 22, 2009 at 11:39 am

    You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way

    So true.

    Reply
  14. tez says

    January 25, 2009 at 3:14 am

    Homer:”How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?”
    Marge:”thats because you were drunk!”
    Homer: “And how…”
    i just thought id add that last part hihii soo funnnyyy,,,
    thanks sooo much i got a good laugh!

    Reply
  15. Miss Brighten says

    January 25, 2009 at 10:59 am

    Me and my mates LOVE this one!!
    On Simpsons Movie, Homers in the car with spider pig at the dumpster. Lenny calls him to tell Homer that LardLads are giving out free donuts and Homer says: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!! (fast!) ha ha ha

    Reply
  16. Shazaam! says

    February 1, 2009 at 11:39 am

    “Everyone knows that Rock & Roll attained perfection in 1974, it’s a scientific fact!” – (I remeber this one because it’s true)!

    Reply
  17. NATALIE says

    February 6, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    YO MARLEY I KNW I’M 11 YRS OLD BUT IF UR SO SMART WHY’D YOU SPELL SMART AS s-m-A-t NO R HA HA LOSER! SO STUPID! IN UR STUPID WAY CUZ THAT IS STUPID YEA AND I TLD YOU BASICLY THAT UR STUPID OK MISS “SMART” OR SHOULD I SAY SMAT? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HE HE HE! BIG L!

    Reply
  18. NATALIE says

    February 6, 2009 at 11:45 pm

    UM MARLEY R U EVEN A MISS OR A MR? CUZ IDK

    Reply
  19. CACA says

    February 6, 2009 at 11:47 pm

    HI I’M POOP AND I POOPED ALL OVER THIS JOKE AND MY COMPUTER IS COVERED IN DIARIA HA HA HA LOL DIARA! BY THE WAY ROCK ON LEBANON!!!!! AND ISRAEL STINKS!!!!! LIKE MY POOP!

    Reply
  20. Gaza says

    February 9, 2009 at 3:08 am

    Haha Natalie you are the person with the big L
    Marly said it how it goes in the song…
    Learn your Homer before insulting

    Reply
  21. Some Stranger says

    February 10, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    personally i think family guy is funnier but i do have a chuckle over the simpsons

    Reply
  22. daniel says

    March 10, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    “go suck a bible!”

    Reply
  23. isolated maniac goffer says

    April 15, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    Check your spellings you inbred oafs.

    p.s. jump, jump, land, land.

    Reply
  24. joe says

    April 17, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    wow natily, you are retatded. first off you seem like an idiot posting in caps and noone likes it, second, learn how to spell. I don’t really care if someone spells it wrong, it dosn’r matter, but when you leave 1 letter out it’s just annoying; third that was a joke from the simpsons that was plain as day.

    Jesus! What has the internet become!

    Reply
  25. joe says

    April 17, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    and CACA (A.K.A. Natilie) save that cr.ap for funnyjunk. noone finds it funny

    Reply
  26. Sean says

    April 23, 2009 at 2:10 am

    Woo hoo!!! I’m a College man!!! I don’t need my high school diploma anymore!!! *lights high school diploma on fire* I am so smart, I am so smart, I am so smart, I am so smart, S.M.R.T, I mean S.M.A.R.T *house is on fire*

    Reply
  27. yellow says

    April 25, 2009 at 3:18 am

    the sun!! thats the hottest place on earth

    homers working on the computer and thee computer says: ‘press any key’ and homer asks himself: ‘the “any key” hmm, where is the “any key”? and searches for it and when he cant find it he just presses any key..:D

    Reply
  28. wow says

    April 29, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    Natalie, how bout you get a life. Israel owns you and how bout you stop being racist, and also, it was a joke that SMAT thing. We all know its SMART. thanks for that, tho. (sarcastic)

    Reply
  29. d says

    May 1, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    it’s look like natalie never watch the simpsons. it’s all about homer! it’s not about einstein for God sake! watch the simpsons first or stay on mars!

    Reply
  30. Duke says

    May 5, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    I still think one of the best ones ever is when Homer goes back to college and the nerds get expelled.

    Good old Snake approaches them and tells them he’s the wallet inspector, then after they give over their wallets Homer notes sadly

    “Hey, that’s not the wallet inspector”

    Reply
  31. josie says

    May 12, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    “Ahh beer: the cause of and solution to all life’s problems” one of my favorites!

    Reply
  32. Kaylee says

    May 23, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    Natalie first of all take caps lock off, it’s obnoxious. Next, have you ever watched The Simpsons? Of course he spelled it “SMAT” that’s the joke. You say you’re eleven? Well at least a fifth grade education would teach you how to make a proper sentence: “IN UR STUPID WAY CUZ THAT IS STUPID YEA AND I TLD YOU BASICLY THAT UR STUPID OK MISS “SMART” OR SHOULD I SAY SMAT?” I don’t want to sound like a whiny little b*tch like you but that just makes me want to punch you, I’m only a year older than you and I can understand that it’s a JOKE, how funny huh? A joke, on a joke site.
    Anyway.

    Homer: Lisa, you’re a Buddhist, so you believe in reincarnation. Eventually, Snowball will be reborn as a higher lifeform… like a snowman.
    lol 😀

    Reply
  33. Ali says

    May 25, 2009 at 3:41 am

    lol. brilliant. all the quotes are wicked. Natalie- you got owned. Which in itself is one of the best jokes…GO HOMER!! 😀

    Reply
  34. Ratticis says

    May 25, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    . . . one IRSwich, withhold the lettuce

    Reply
  35. Ratticis says

    May 25, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    Mick Jagger: “Come on Homer, It’s only rock and roll camp”
    Homer: “But i like it”

    “I’ll give you this cloroform if you take us to The Who”

    “Oh Lisa, you and your stories, Bart’s a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let’s go back to that . . . building place . . . where our beds and TV . . is?”

    “Extended warenty, how could I lose!”

    “Ok computer, kill Flanders!”

    “Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock”

    “Remember when your little cat Snowball got run over? Huh, remember? Well what I’m saying is all we need to do is go down to the pound and get a new Jazz man”

    Reply
  36. Nothingsuss says

    May 27, 2009 at 2:07 am

    I can’t remember the exact quote and hope someone might post it for me, but one of the funniest scenes ever for me is when Lisa tells Homer that pork, ham and bacon all come from the same animal and Homer says something like “Oh, a magical animal etc…….” Still laugh every time I see it.

    Reply
  37. k@$$!e says

    May 27, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    omg natalie, think about it, if we are talking about the simpsons, then homer would say something like that, duh!!! smarty pants

    Reply
  38. someone says

    June 1, 2009 at 11:59 am

    I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T I mean S-M-A-R-T!

    Reply
  39. IcedTea says

    June 2, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    DUH Natalie. What exactly were you trying to prove? That you are idiot, or that you haven’t had a decent education? You must have lived under a rock all these years. Weirdo. I know smarter kids.

    Jeez, weird kids and their weird kiddie ego!

    Homer: Lisa, vampires are make believe. Like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

    😀

    Reply
  40. IcedTea says

    June 2, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    Homer: The Baby can ahve Bart’s room, and Bart can sleep with us
    Marge: Won’t that warp him?
    Homer: No, my cousin Frank did it
    Marge: You don’t have a cousin Frank
    Homer: He changed his name to Franceen back in 74′ and joined that cult… I think his name is Mother Shabooboo now.

    Reply
  41. YoItsAnna says

    June 2, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    Lol.you guys all just burned Natalie,like crazy.
    Well i was gonna post one up but most of the ones i was gonna say are posted on here like 3 times so nah.
    And btw Natalie is she mental or somthing.
    Telling someone they cant spell,get it right the first time that way you dont look like an ass, a little to late for that now but still.That was just pure stupidity.

    Reply
  42. =P says

    June 7, 2009 at 1:04 am

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVV
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    V
    VV
    V
    V
    V
    V
    VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Reply
  43. TriinaxL says

    June 7, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    natalie..
    it was suppose to b funny >.<
    your an 11 year old that doesnt think before she speaks !

    Reply
  44. I am smrt says

    June 11, 2009 at 3:19 am

    Save me jebus!!!!! and other things like that. But what about Ralph???
    “My cats breath smells like cat food” and “I bent my wookie”??? and “I like men now” come on, springfields bedwetter needs some respect!!!!

    Reply
  45. a person says

    June 11, 2009 at 6:55 pm

    wow… inbred oafs huh? bit insulting…

    Reply
  46. connor says

    June 16, 2009 at 5:43 am

    its i am so smart i am so smart s-m-a-t i mean s-m-a-r-t

    Reply
  47. Titmouse says

    July 23, 2009 at 11:58 am

    Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
    Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
    Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

    Reply
  48. moustafah been late says

    September 8, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    wow its September, and I’m the newest one,,, YEAHHHH

    thank you jebus!!

    Reply
  49. Dave says

    September 11, 2009 at 10:40 am

    “Ah, alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, most of life’s problems!”

    Reply
  50. j says

    October 23, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    Darn this Smarch weather!!

    Reply
  51. Jag says

    October 28, 2009 at 3:30 am

    “Or what will you do Mr. Burns? Release the DOGS? Or release the BEES. Or release the DOGS that have BEES in their mouths, so that when they bark BEES come out at you?”

    Reply
  52. drummer grl says

    November 6, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    Omg I luv the simpsons!

    Reply
  53. ChiliPepper says

    November 17, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    “Mhmmmmmm pistol whip”

    Reply
  54. R-dog says

    January 7, 2010 at 8:30 am

    i love simpsons

    my fav moment is in the movie, when marge and the kids go into the store. bart draws mustaches on their faces on the wanted poster, then the shopkeeper turns around, says “It’s them!” and there they are standing in the doorway. LOL!
    i can’t say i take note of homer’s quotes.

    Reply
  55. cholo says

    January 16, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    dude i love the simpsons but my favorite line homer uses is dooooooooooooooooooough

    Reply
  56. chuck norris says

    January 18, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    LEAVE DA POOR GUY ALONE………………………………………………………….. HE GOT PROBLEMZ…………………………………………………………………. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  57. X says

    January 20, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    I don’t remember which episode it was exactly, I’m thinking somewhere in season 6, 7 or 8. One of my favorite Homer Simpson quotes:

    “Trying is always the very first step towards failure.” -Homer Simpson

    Reply
  58. Blogger says

    February 3, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    After grabbing the electric fence several times: “Why does everything that only happens to stupid people always happen to me?”

    Reply
  59. patrick says

    March 10, 2010 at 4:27 am

    PLEASE dont eat me!…av got a wife and 3kids!..EAT THEM!

    Reply
  60. z fhbzgz says

    March 19, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    “Donuts, is there anything they can’t do?”

    Reply
  61. S says

    April 21, 2010 at 4:01 am

    Homer: Operator, give me the number for 911!!!!!
    hahahahaha i cant get over it!!

    Reply
  62. Homer says

    April 23, 2010 at 6:08 am

    Kill my boss? Dare I live out the American dream?
    It’s funny and true 😛

    Reply
  63. missy says

    April 24, 2010 at 6:26 am

    ive seen the movie a billion times and yet these 2 scenes make me laugh every single time

    “he’s not spider pig anymore, he’s harry pauper”

    ‘ohh i see…then i hear by declair you chicken for life, every morning you’ll wake up to “good morning chicken” at your wedding ill sing *clucks like a chicken to hear comes the bride then gets cut off suddenly as bart jumps on his skateboard and skates off naked*’

    Reply
  64. Felon says

    May 10, 2010 at 8:05 am

    Judge declares Homer guilty “Your honour i’d like that last comment stricken from the record”

    Reply
  65. Abhusan says

    May 20, 2010 at 8:33 am

    when marge asks homer to pick lisa from school while coming back home from work..he says”Ohhh..do i hav to do it and do i hav to go to work”..

    Reply
  66. Sophia - 16177503080 says

    May 30, 2010 at 9:31 am

    my favorite ever is “OPERATOR!! Give me the number for 911!!!” haha gotta love homer 😉

    Reply
  67. sophia - 16177503080 says

    May 30, 2010 at 9:32 am

    LOVE the one where he gives the jesus statue a fist pump =)

    Reply
  68. sophia - 16177503080 says

    May 30, 2010 at 9:34 am

    seen the episode where bart wants a brother? so funny. or when bart trades his soul 4 dinosaur sponges?

    Reply
  69. Abdulaziz says

    May 30, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    I dont remember the episode. Something blews up in springfield while homer and bart are in the basement then homer is lik “What was that???…..nah who cares”

    Reply
  70. Mohammad says

    June 8, 2010 at 9:56 am

    The most two quotes i most love are:
    1- when Homer was calling bart so fearfully, then when Bart says “yes dad!” Homer says “Take the trash out”. that was damn funny.
    2- ‘To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?

    Reply
  71. Joanne says

    June 14, 2010 at 10:12 am

    Im 28, always have & always will love the simpsons! lol

    Reply
  72. Me says

    June 30, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”

    “All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”

    “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.”

    “I don’t apologize. I am sorry Lisa, that’s the way I am.”

    “Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He’s always one step ahead.”

    “First you don’t want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind.”

    “I don’t want to go, so if he asks me to go, I’ll just say, ‘Yes!'”

    “I know you can read my thoughts, boy : Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow.”

    “I wonder where Bart is, his dinner’s getting all cold …… and eaten.”

    Don’t you just love Homer’s “logic”?? Makes me lol!!! Still, this is my fave of allllll time!!!

    “Operator, give me the number for 911” hehehehehehe

    Reply
  73. Love Ralph says

    June 30, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Ralph is just as awesome as Homer though!! I remember more of his quotes than Homers. Love these…

    “Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!”

    “Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.”

    “Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!”

    “The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there”

    Ralph: “Daddy, I’m scared. Too scared to even wet my pants.”
    Chief Wiggum: “Just relax and it’ll come, son.”

    “That’s where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!”

    “I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant”

    “My cat’s breath smells like catfood.”

    “Bushes are fun cause they dont have prickles. Unless they do like this one did. Ow”

    “I’m learn-ding”

    Reply
  74. Wiggum says

    June 30, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    Chief Wiggums cool too. His incompetence cracks me up!!

    “See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya, otherwise, I got no case and you’ll go scot-free.”

    “I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.”

    “Oh, sure. We’d all love some real friends, Marge. But what are the odds of that happening?”

    “This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a… car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.”

    “She didn’t reckon with the awesome power of the Chief of Police! Now where did I put my badge?…Hey, that duck’s got it!”

    “Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!”

    Homer: You know, if you let us go, there’s a diamond necklace in it for you.
    Wiggum: I hope you’re not suggesting that I would take that necklace as a bribe. Think again, dirtbag, cause I can swipe it later from the evidence locker.

    Wiggum: [answering phone] 9-1-1. This’d better be good.
    Marge: I just cut off my husband’s thumb!
    Wiggum: ATTEMPTED MURDER?! YOU’LL BURN FOR THIS! BURN IN JAIL!
    Marge: It was an accident!
    Wiggum: Yeah, yeah. Save it for “Dateline: Tuesday.” Uh, what’s your address so I can come arrest you?
    Marge: Arrest me? Um, my address, it’s um, 1-2-3 … Fake Street.
    Wiggum: [writing address down] 1-2-3 Fake Street. Okay see you soon!

    Reply
  75. jessi says

    August 4, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    Lol I love homer simpson

    Reply
  76. justin says

    August 7, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    “I have three kids and no money, I wish I had no kids and three money.”

    Reply
  77. Graham says

    September 8, 2010 at 11:01 pm

    ” It’s because they are stupid, that’s why everybody does everything “

    Reply
  78. Jonno says

    September 14, 2010 at 12:54 am

    Lisa: NO!! Bullfighting is a cruel-pseudo sport!
    Homer: yeah, lisa’s right, it is a cool-super sport.

    Reply
  79. Amanda says

    September 19, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    haha BEST SERIOUS EVER!!!! I’m 24 and a watch it everyday without fail.. I love it
    Yea my fave is what Justin ^^ said. . . ” I have three kids and no money, I wish I had no kids and three money”

    And gotta love Ralph. . . .”It says I choo choo chooose you, and there’s a picture of a train on it” . . . .

    And Gill is high up there in the coolness department . . . . When he goes to sell homer a car but the other old mate takes over and Gill calls his wife . . . ………

    “Honey, you should have seen me with my last customer, I … no, but I came so close. This guy was as … Whose voice is that? Is that Fred? … Aw, you said it was over … No, don’t put him on — Hello, Fred, h-hi.”

    Lol poor gill has had sooo many jobs.. .

    Reply
  80. SimpsonsFan1234 says

    September 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    when Homer meets Michael Jackson…

    ‘Hi i’m Michael Jackson of the Jacksons, Hi i’m Homer Simpsons of the Simpsons.’

    Reply
  81. Maggie says

    September 23, 2010 at 5:08 am

    ” I know, I’ll sink to the bottom and run to the shore!! ”

    x

    Reply
  82. Joanne says

    September 23, 2010 at 7:44 am

    Stupid sexy Flanders! lol

    Reply
  83. bang-shoop-wobble-dop says

    October 7, 2010 at 9:09 am

    spiderpig, piderpig, does whatever a spiderpig does, can he swing, from a web, no he cant, hes a pig, look ooooooouuuuut, cause hes a spider pig….

    Reply
  84. Courtney says

    November 10, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    my fave has to be “just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t understand”

    Reply
  85. david k says

    November 15, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    chalmers: im not bald im balding. why wont anyone honor the the ding?
    skinner: i honr the ding sir.
    chalmers: what the hell are you talking about?

    Reply
  86. mika says

    November 18, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    homer-z funniest, z dumpst a guy could b

    Reply
  87. tricksie says

    December 17, 2010 at 2:17 am

    I love Homer’s dad!
    Like in the movie when marge is trying to figure out his “godly experience”
    she writes down notes of what he said.

    Marge:”twisted tail, a thousand eyes. What does it all mean?”
    Grandpa:”I’m pretty sure a thousand…….is a number.”

    Reply
  88. marge says

    December 21, 2010 at 1:42 am

    One episode Homer gets in trouble for not spending enough time with the kids. He tries harder and Lisa is swinging on a tire swing and she’s becoming tired. He teaches Bart to ride a bike. When Bart tell’s him he liked his “half-assed” approach better and Homer J replies: “BUT I’M USING MY WHOLE ASS!”

    Reply
  89. bopz says

    January 3, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    dude u missed DDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  90. limited time only says

    February 10, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    the funniest has to be when Homer and Bart are making beer in the basement after something explodes marge comes down to ask and Homer responds, “Must’ve been that bean i had…”

    Reply
  91. my name isnt important says

    February 17, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    fist pumps are what make me awsome because i am the best at it take that world.

    Reply
  92. nunya biz says

    April 18, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    my fav quote is “Don’t you give ME half the peace sign!”

    Reply
  93. Rabson Nkhata says

    May 9, 2011 at 3:56 am

    Homer and Bart playing a dare contest on the roof of their house…Homer:i dare you to climb the TV antenna.Bart :piece of cake!

    Reply
  94. alissar says

    May 29, 2011 at 5:42 am

    mmmm donutss

    Reply
  95. alissar says

    May 29, 2011 at 5:44 am

    “Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked

    Reply
  96. Zida says

    July 30, 2011 at 3:57 am

    “Bart stop drkn nw!i promise i wil stmp 2morow

    Reply
  97. inspektor says

    August 10, 2011 at 5:21 am

    “Omg, english instructions gone! Must use french instructions! Le grille? What the hell is that??”

    Reply
  98. max says

    February 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    Let me explain. I thought the cop was a prostitue.

    Reply
  99. GOODSTUFF says

    April 19, 2012 at 11:34 pm

    ‎”Never interrupt a good ho-down” Homer Simpson.

    Reply
  100. James says

    July 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    Before Lethal Weapon 2, I never thought there could be a bomb in my toilet, but now I check every time.

    Or how about…

    Save me Mr. X… wait a minute I’m Mr. X. D’oh…

    Reply
  101. Matt says

    October 8, 2012 at 8:37 am

    `don’t worry Bart this will slow him down…[throws steak , dog swallows it and keeps chasing Bart ] HURRY BOY HE`S GOT A TASTE FOR MEAT NOW` . DEef a Top 10

    Reply
  102. jack stanton says

    May 31, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    “What doesn’t kill us…only suceeds in the second attempt.”

    Reply
  103. LC says

    February 28, 2019 at 8:38 am

    my personal favorite:

    “aaaaaallllgghhhh (drooling) bacon……”

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recent Jokes

  • Top 20 Chemistry Jokes of Some Time
  • God Will Save Me!
  • Getting Married in Heaven
  • From Riches to Rags
  • 11 Crappy One-Liners Sure To Leave You A Loser

Recent Comments

  • fffff on FFFFFFFFF
  • Marie-Hélène Archimbaud on Eats Shoots And Leaves
  • Richard Butler on The End Of The Internet
  • Lamontrey Quarles on Alphabet Soup, No Actually It’s Riddles
  • Crissie on Little Johnny’s Playing Partner

Copyright © 2005-2021 Funny & Jokes • All rights reserved. • Privacy Policy • Terms of Service