You’ve Been Online Too Long When…

1. Tech Support calls “YOU” for help.

2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say “LOL”.

3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

4. You have called out someone’s screen name while making love to your significant other.

5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so “we can hang out”.

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You’ve even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to-
face.

8. You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.

9. You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you’re going to be away.

10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.

11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences.

12. You have met over 100 AOLers.

13. You begin to say “heh heh heh” instead of laughing.

14. When someone says “What did you say?” you reply “Scroll up!”

15. You are on the phone a minute & need to do something else & say “BRB” or “BBL”.

16. You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won’t know you’re on-line again.

17. You stop speaking in full sentences.

18. You find yourself lying to others about your time on-line & when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.

19. You double click your TV remote.

20. You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much than the truth (online all night).

21. You can actually read & follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie.

22. Your kids are standing at your side saying, “Mommy, please come and cook” dinner and you would rather type another “LOL”.

23. You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.

24. You won’t work at a job that doesn’t have a modem involved.

25. Your dog leaves you.

26. You have to ask what year it is.

27. You write a letter like this.. “dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well I gotta
go bbl!”

28. You name your pets after people you talk to.

29. You smile sideways…

30. You sign on & immediately get 10 IMs from people who have you on their buddy list.

31. You look at an annoying person off-line & wish you had your ignore button handy.

32. You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer.

33. Your significant other kisses your neck while you’re chatting & you think “uh oh cyber sex perv”.

34. You have withdrawals if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours.

35. You go into withdrawals during dinner.

36. You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.

37. Being called a Newbie is a “MAJOR” insult.

38. Your worse comeback to a bully is “I’ll slap ya w/a rubber chicken!”

39. You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get online before you have your first cup of coffee.

40. You have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake.

41. You have your computer set so it goes directly into AOL’s welcome screen.

42. You don’t know where the time has gone.

43. You end sentences with 3 (or more) periods while writing letters by hand.

44. You get up at 2am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead.

45. You don’t even notice anymore when someone has a typo.

46. You enter a room & 23 people greet you w/((hugs)) or **kisses**.

47. You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme.

48. Your voicemail/answering machine message is “BRB, leave your s/n & I will TTYL”.

49. You type faster than you think.

50. You got your psychiatrist¬†so addicted to chatrooms you’re¬†now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office.


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