Why Married Couples Don’t Have Sex

Dear Wife, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were just cleaned 17 times it was too [...]

Why Married Couples Don’t Have Sex

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Why Married Couples Don’t Have Sex was written by F&J Staff on Thursday, August 16th, 2007 at 10:44 amin Dirty Jokes, Female Jokes, Jokes, Male Jokes. You can follow comments through the Comments RSS feed. Similar jokes and stuff include , Married Bar Talk , Married Life – Going To The Bar , Late Night Suprise , The Mathematician’s Wife , Did You Hear About The Blonde? .

25 Comments to “Why Married Couples Don’t Have Sex”

• cody says:

  August 16, 2007 at 11:39 am

  funny as hell
• aryanangel14 says:

  August 18, 2007 at 2:36 pm

  ive been married 20 years, our sex life is great!
• My germs! says:

  August 19, 2007 at 9:42 pm

  my sex is fantastic… jep jep jepp!! mi chicken joined in last weekend… my cat fuikd my dog!! the whole farm came inn… it was THE BESSTTT OMFG!! humans and animals become one
• John says:

  August 20, 2007 at 8:33 pm

  my sex life is crap i aint gettin any
• Lane says:

  August 21, 2007 at 12:26 pm

  HAHA! That’s so funny! I about peed myself!
• kim says:

  August 21, 2007 at 11:03 pm

  i thought this was great
• Twilight_surfer says:

  August 24, 2007 at 7:59 pm

  funneeeee.
• Victoria says:

  September 10, 2007 at 4:44 pm

  haha thats soooo funny. everyone has their side of the story! men open ur ears, or we wont open our legs!
• I like Wolves says:

  September 18, 2007 at 9:37 am

  Good cause i’m a great listener, but asexual ] The story was funny but not “I’m gonna piss myself” funny
• funny joke! says:

  September 20, 2007 at 7:38 pm

  wtf! (responding to My Germs!)
• erica and amber says:

  September 26, 2007 at 10:20 am

  cracked us up! we laughed our asses off!
• lil chunty says:

  October 19, 2007 at 11:53 am

  wow that was funny
• Lauren says:

  October 31, 2007 at 5:55 am

  That was pretty funny, but I bet my sex life is worse than all of yours’ right now because I’m stuck in Iraq!!! I can’t get laid for another year!
• teehee says:

  November 12, 2007 at 8:59 pm

  OH MY GO THAT WAS FREAKING FANTASTIC I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• erica michelle says:

  December 14, 2007 at 10:51 am

  omg! That sucks 4 you john! My sex life is awesome! But sex isn’t everything!
• smiley says:

  April 24, 2008 at 1:35 pm

  funny funny funny
• raymond says:

  July 24, 2008 at 12:09 am

  LOL I READ THAT SO MANY TIMES AND STILL LAUGHED
• annie says:

  December 16, 2009 at 4:29 pm

  i was laffin so hard LMAO
• victors girl says:

  January 29, 2010 at 2:08 pm

  that was okay, ive heard better…
• John says:

  October 4, 2010 at 8:26 am

  this was great. me and my baby tres has had so much sex. i once showed a wine bottle up his ass. he told me it was hard. he also took a cantoloupe in his ass 3 times. now thats hardcore. gah hes ding a ling is everything to me. the best that hes shoved up his ass has was a screwdriver(: i love jewish men
• Chavez says:

  October 5, 2010 at 10:23 pm

  omg john you just gave me nightmares! nasty! some things are better left unsaid
• robinson says:

  October 6, 2010 at 12:32 am

  please put me in your commety
• Munashe Mutsvedu says:

  October 6, 2010 at 8:50 am

  you guys are suckrs mysex life is great
• flip says:

  March 30, 2011 at 8:26 am

  wat a story…escuse after escuse…
• flip says:

  March 30, 2011 at 8:27 am

  i don wish to be tht man cos life wld really suck.