Why I Fired My Secretary
This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy Birthday.” I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember.
My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”
We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m goinna to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake…
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.
And I just sat there…
On the couch…
Naked.
What'd You Think?
(292 votes, average: 4.51 out of 5)
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August 10th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
It was funny….but a little bit disturbing that he fell for Joanne when he knew he had a wife and kids at home!
August 13th, 2007 at 11:17 am
that was funny. i just felt bad for the wife… i no i would hurt my hubby if i seen that!
it would be the end of his birtday real quik!!!
August 15th, 2007 at 6:02 am
Too long, I couldn’t even get passed the 2nd paragraph!
August 16th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
lol that was funny
August 21st, 2007 at 7:20 pm
very funny and at the same time embarrasing.lol.
August 22nd, 2007 at 10:20 am
I really find it not smart of the wife to make his secretary lure him to her appartment. Like, what man would not have done the same thing?
August 24th, 2007 at 8:23 am
lol tht was realy funny i like jokes like tht!!!
August 24th, 2007 at 8:23 am
to right tony
August 25th, 2007 at 12:22 am
LMAO i wouldve done the same thing…
August 31st, 2007 at 11:32 am
He he he he he he he he he was right to fire the secretary.
September 25th, 2007 at 10:53 am
damn lol
September 25th, 2007 at 7:56 pm
damn secretary! i wudve kickd his ass too!
September 26th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Bahahaha, owned >D
October 2nd, 2007 at 11:11 am
he is sooooooooooooo BUSTED
October 12th, 2007 at 5:32 pm
interesting and dumb
October 13th, 2007 at 9:52 am
i was really funnnnny to think about hows he would look like bared in front of all others
October 15th, 2007 at 12:35 am
gay gay gay joke not funny 0 out of ten like common my 2 year old kid could make a better one then that.
October 26th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
jakie…go away kthx?
October 29th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
LOL sooooooooooooo busted!!!!!!!
November 1st, 2007 at 5:38 am
lolll patients is de key…a lil patient wld hv been ok 4 him…
November 2nd, 2007 at 5:17 am
I FEEL FOR THE KIDS..Daddy is naked.
November 6th, 2007 at 1:47 am
I would have wanted birthday nookie too, just not from my secretary.
November 11th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
hehe that would suck so hard
November 14th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
this is a typical man, take him back to your apartmnt and he expects to get laid.
November 15th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
lol real funny i feel sorry for the wife
November 20th, 2007 at 6:57 am
nice 1 bt @ da same time so so embarrasing !!!!!
December 19th, 2007 at 10:44 am
That was so halarious,how can a secretary play the part of the wife? Thats being crazy. The wife should think twice and feel shame on her
December 30th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
IS THIS HONESTLY A TRURE STORY??? thats gotta sux poor guy, but funi joke tho
January 10th, 2008 at 11:06 am
That was funny as hell!!!!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 2:46 am
I Saw This Story On Another Site. Hmm. . .
March 20th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
its not that funny at all it sucks…..
March 23rd, 2008 at 9:03 pm
i want the secretarys number lol lol that was good.
March 26th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I wish the man was ill more smarter….he should have know as to why the secreaty was doing like the way she was doing…probably then culd have had even better b’day without his wife
April 3rd, 2008 at 5:13 am
That’ was funny,you’ve made my day.
April 11th, 2008 at 3:43 am
Hahah… This is soo funny… As I was reading I was wondering if it would be Clean enough and Funny enough to mail to my ex boss who Really did let me go but we ended on good terms, however this joke would be highly inappropriate but it is pretty funny! hahaha…
Jacki- So Cal
April 18th, 2008 at 10:33 am
i think thats the crazest joke. wonder what the goon tol the wife “was bout to ake a birth”! ouch….
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:25 am
First i felt this joke as a story but in the end it turned into a splended joke.
April 24th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Outrageously out of this world! you guys are d BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!