When You’re Feeling Stupid, Read This
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
~ Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”
~ Miss Alabama’s Heather Whitestone in the 1994 Miss USA contest, who was later selected as Miss America 1995.
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“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
~ Mariah Carey
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“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body”
~ Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country”
~ Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.”
~ Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
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“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it.”
~ A congressional candidate in Texas.
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“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
~ Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
And (yea he gets two)…
“We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.”
~ Al Gore, former Vice President of the United States (and inventor of teh internet : )
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“I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .”
~ Dan Quayle
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“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
~ Lee Iacocca
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“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
~ Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people”
~ Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
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“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
~ Bill Clinton, Former President of the United States
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“Traditionally, most of Australia ’s imports come from overseas.”
~ Keppel Enderbery
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“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
~ Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”
~ Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
What'd You Think?
(51 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)
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October 5th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Thats the most stupid stuff I have ever heard, I love it keep it comin
October 5th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
I thought the “If you don’t succeed, you run the risk of failure” quote was from George W. Bush?
At least, I thought so. I have a notepad that has that quote on it because I think it’s so completely ridiculous. ;P
October 5th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
If we don’t suceed quote was made by Al Gore…Though, it can be argued that it was made by many notable people.
October 5th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
I laughed until I could laugh no more, and they think that they are so smart, will this proves how dumb they really are. haha
October 5th, 2007 at 11:39 pm
If you’re going to leave a comment about people being stupid, at least spell it right. Al Gore, former Vice President of the United States (and inventor of teh internet
October 6th, 2007 at 2:35 am
Your picture of Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman is actually a picture of ‘Mark Fowler’ an ex-character on the soap drama ‘Eastenders’ in the UK.
October 6th, 2007 at 5:31 am
Although most of these people “Appear to be Stupid”, how many would actually vote for Hillary? That would indeed be stupid.
October 6th, 2007 at 5:34 am
When you’re RIGHT, you’re RIGHT. And when you’re LEFT, you’re WRONG!
October 6th, 2007 at 10:12 am
People that cannot spell, use proper grammar or correct punctuation, should perhaps not be calling others “stupid” quite so quickly.
October 7th, 2007 at 2:19 am
that mariah carey one is retarded
October 7th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.”
haha priceless
October 9th, 2007 at 10:04 am
i agre wit barbara. u poeple arr juste as stoopid as them.
October 10th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
haha yerrr me two! ppl yuh shud lern how ta spell proply =P
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body” ~ Winston Bennett
Haha I love that one!
October 11th, 2007 at 2:18 am
Whats rights whats left after everything is wrong.
And the internet was created for the military (to send encrypted messages) and was later moved mostley to a protocal called the world wide web (www) for browsing.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
omg. these are the most dumest things i ever heard.
October 12th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
this is real good because it is the truth
October 12th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
That sux
October 14th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
hgh fndfnnf i dont no how to type
October 15th, 2007 at 6:29 am
haha, i’m not the only one. The moral of the story is DON’T BE STUPID IN PUBLIC lol
October 15th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Dumbass
October 16th, 2007 at 5:36 am
His name was Kep (Keppel) Enderby QC - an Australian polititian in the 1970’s - Australian Atorney General, and then supreme court judge in NSW.
October 16th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
OMG!!! My friend and i nearly laughed ourselves to death!!! I dont feel like an idiot anymore
October 18th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people”
hahahhaha my fav im still laughing about it
October 19th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
This was just an embarassment to our nations decision making. Most of these people at one time help prominent positions in society, and our young looked up to them. Thank god i was wanking off when these people were trying to speak. Just for the record. The internet was a missle defence system code transmission protocol. So that encoded launch commands could be delivered faster. The only reason the WWW (world wide web) was created was the demand for faster information. It actually started in the phone companies. But those that really want to claim that others are stupid and ramble on like they know something are the ones that need to re-evaluate their intelligence. ( and yes this does include me )
October 19th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
held*
October 23rd, 2007 at 4:41 pm
OMG!!!!!!!LOL well we always knew that the people in charge or famous are stupid…. Now all they need to do is post one from bush!!!
October 24th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
A zebra does not change his spots - Al gore (another one he said) lol
November 5th, 2007 at 10:42 am
u should have somthin on george w bush
November 7th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
did’nt Al Gore recently release that controversial film about global warming? he’s a genius, but a dippy one.
November 7th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
no wonder America is in the state it’s in with a vice president like that…. opps, i have said too much… sorry yanks.
November 17th, 2007 at 10:16 am
god this was funny and just what i needed for a ‘pick me up’
November 21st, 2007 at 8:40 pm
Barbara: I think you meant: People WHO cannot spell, use proper grammar or correct punctuation, should perhaps not be calling others “stupid” quite so quickly.
(Or correcting others?)
December 31st, 2007 at 1:46 am
Nice one Suzanne.
These things made me laugh to death, just plain hilarous.
March 24th, 2008 at 12:09 am
We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
not much aparently
March 25th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
lol that was hilarious
March 27th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
apparently the person who made this was being as stupid as the people that said the quotes, Al Gore is not the inventor of internet…Bill Gates is. These people DO NOT think before they say things, either that or they are really truly that stupid.
April 8th, 2008 at 11:22 am
This one is correct >>
“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
~ Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
I laughed more at the people who didn’t understand it!
It simply means either 90% of 1 half of the game is ‘mental’ or that half the game - on a scale of ‘mentalness’ is 90% mental as opposed to say 100% (completley mental)
but the rest weer great
April 11th, 2008 at 7:23 am
I was was so stupid to read it. Poor me!!