Valentine’s Day Jokes
February 14th is right around the corner, which means it's time for a few misguided Valentine's Day Jokes to poke fun at the day Cupid makes his rounds poking people in the butt with painful arrows and such. Rather than bore you with a bunch of babbling, we'll get right to the funny jokes.
Top 5 Valentine (Or Love / Marriage) Quotes
- "The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." ~Ann Landers
- "I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." ~David Bissonnette
- "It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week." ~Laurence J. Peter
- "Women are cursed, and men are the proof." ~Rosanne Barr
- "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." ~Groucho Marx
Top 5 (Lame) Question and Answer Valentine Jokes
Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe!
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you!
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
Add Your Own Jokes
Look I admit, a few of those jokes were lame. Good Valentine's Jokes are hard to come by, why don't you help us out and add some of your own in the comments below, just be sure to keep them family friendly!
What'd You Think?
(200 votes, average: 2.81 out of 5)
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Ohhh, Snap!
of course u suck
your mum indeed….
Huhh?
You guys are weirdd…
sup
Steel wheel
ding
I LIKE ASS, U LIKE ASSS”!
WTF? THESE JOKES ARE FUKING BORING.
Wow… Thats cool?
wat do u get if a boy rabit poured hot water down his wives hole
A=a runaway rabit
wat do you get if a squiral walked into a door
A=a nutta
wat do you call a door after a man has tried to walk through it naked?
A=2 nobs
wat do you get if a dragon is chasing a bird?
A=bye bye birdy
wat do you get if a alive person jumps of a 240 stories high building?
A=a dead person.
Roses are red and violets are black open your legs and I’ll lick your crack
stupid jokes!!!!!!!!!!!! huh!!!!!!!
Tis is FUNNY JOKES!
lol