Valentine’s Day Jokes
February 14th is right around the corner, which means it's time for a few misguided Valentine's Day Jokes to poke fun at the day Cupid makes his rounds poking people in the butt with painful arrows and such. Rather than bore you with a bunch of babbling, we'll get right to the funny jokes.
Top 5 Valentine (Or Love / Marriage) Quotes
- "The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." ~Ann Landers
- "I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." ~David Bissonnette
- "It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week." ~Laurence J. Peter
- "Women are cursed, and men are the proof." ~Rosanne Barr
- "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." ~Groucho Marx
Top 5 (Lame) Question and Answer Valentine Jokes
Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe!
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you!
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
Add Your Own Jokes
Look I admit, a few of those jokes were lame. Good Valentine's Jokes are hard to come by, why don't you help us out and add some of your own in the comments below, just be sure to keep them family friendly!
What'd You Think?
(85 votes, average: 2.80 out of 5)
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I just realized there were only four lame Q&A jokes, guess the joke’s on us.
do add sme lovers jokes on valentines day.
I was just about to say that there were only 4 Lame Question & Answer jokes, but then I saw the comment above.
I thought this was pretty lame:
Q. What do you call a very small Valentine?
A. A Valen-tiny.
the nice one:
“The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.”
i wanna introduce my self
I’m Aye from Iran
these jokes are terible
Q. What did the foot say to the shoe?
A. Am so into you.
jajaja I know they are terrible and so is your spelling!! jajaja lol (fatty)
these jokes are lame i mean the president can make better jokes than that.wait nonono im kidding but heres one. Q.wat do you call cheese thats notch yours? A.NOTCHO CHEESE.AND GIRL WHY U GOTTA KEEP SAYING JAJAJA STUPID.
any one single wait jk lol.
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im cookie monster………RAWRRRRR!!!!!!!!!COW says MOOOOO!!!!! & kittens say BARK!! elmo is purple….and barney is red.!.!.!
(o_o)
/|\
/ \
GHOST
people i admire……..
1.Barney
2.Elmo
3.Charzard
4.Fat lady at church
5.guthix………….(Runescape)
6.my left foot
7.people who comment on what ive been saying *_*
one time..iseent a monkeyy
andd then he looked at me..
andd thenn he sed oohh ohh ahh ahh..
and then i peed mahselff..
and then i skiddaddled..
it was kool
Q:Wt does ring says to the finger?
A:Push it in.lol.
VALENTINE’S DAY IS CANCELLED!!!!!
Apparently U told cupid u were sexy. He died laughing. Thanks alot liar. Happy Valentine’s Day!
why have many green link?what’s this?
i love pizza hut
WhOwMaNyZeRoInMyNoSe
AnS:TwO
baha “??????”
Barney is awesome, so is Guthix xD
All of you are dry & lame.
Just like these jokes. I feel sorry for you’s. Fags.
yea yea