Top Michael Jackson Jokes
According to Web Usage Associates (and Public Notary), the following ten Michael Jackson Jokes are the most popular with Americans.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q: Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q: What's brown and often found in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.
Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. - you know in a few years they'll probably change his name to: The Child Formerly Known as Michael Jackson's Baby.
UPDATE 7/1/2009 - Michael Jackson passed away last week and we've been getting alot of comments about his death. Please be sure to read this post prior to making any further comments. That'd be swell. ~F&J
UPDATE 8/25/2009 - We've gotten over 4,000 comments (hundreds have been rejected) on this post. I mean really, we've got to close it. That's just crazy.
What'd You Think?
(3,500 votes, average: 3.21 out of 5)
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just surfing the net for jokes and i come across this site some funny jokes on here i got one that i thought i would add six year old violin player maxwell jarvis has been confirmed to play at michael jacksons funeral it seems appropriate to have a kiddie fiddler to see him off
why did michael like all of his kids white
cause he was getting back on the man
mj gay is ok
have you seen this weeks album charts its a non mover at no1
ok you fake marylu so c***t i’m the real one so just remember that like those kids will michaels mini sausage for breakfast! and fake real marylu its me and i’m as dumb as a stump
I sure hope the real fake real marylu dont come back here cause she will be p***ed off . .man i’m even confused as usual your not gonna believe this I fell of my bike and had a concussion and was in acoma and when i awoke michael was gone and i realized he was guilty
michael jackson meets a young boy while walking around his neverland ranch would you like to see some magic sure says the boy well for this trick you need to turn round drop your trousers and bend over so the boy turns round drops his trousers and bends over michael stands behind him and asks can you feel my finger in your ass sure says the boy michael then waves his both hands in front of the boys face and says magic
just before his death michael agreed to be an organ donar up for grabs are 3 noses 14 pairs of lips and two shades of skin
what was michael favorite thing to say to them kids when he was on them
can you feel it
say what you want about michael at least he had the decency to drive slowly past schools
BEING 22 STONE THIS WEATHER IS LIKE BEING MICHAEL JACKSON YOU ARE ALWAYS CLOSE TO A 3 FT FAN
my moneys on michael jackson being black in the next couple of weeks
i use to like michael jackson because i thought he was a sweet guy now i know he was just a guy with sweets i did hear on the news today that michael jackson come back to life but unfortunatley he went stiff again when they wheeled him passed the childrens ward
thay are the crapist jock every
umm…all you lame-o’s need to get a freakin life instead of looking at these stupid jokes. They are really disrespectful and so not funny. I can’t belive people would be such idiots to be posting all these “Michael Jackson jokes” and all you MJ offenders need to go to hell.Michael Jackson has gone through so much in his life and he does not need anymore rudeness from other people. All these offensive comments prove your idiocy. I am commenting because I am a true Michael Jackson fan and will always be by his side no matter what. Got a problem with that? then deal with it ok. Don’t be replying to this comment if your going to be an idiot about it.
how do he know if we are being rude about him the guys as stiff as a post like when they pushed him past the childrens ward in the hospital i wish you were at his side the guys going up in smoke in the next few weeks or by the way if you dont like the jokes f–k off some where else as this is a joke site
what you doing on this site if you find it disrespectfull
yeah only michael jokes on this site
since we have confirmed he is gay and out of the closet, after death
i dont think all those kids would have been allowed in his bedroom
im the only real marylu so F**k off you ignorant dodo you will never see the truth and even you will see more and more ex’s to come out of the closet
i dont care if michael was gay he was a super fem
guess thats why they call you ass
good night all
ya know what WHATEVER i don’t care if yall pretend to be me ne more the point is m.j is innocent and until proven otherwise is not gay
and ya know what this site is pathetic and as long as the tosser pretending to be me stops i will stop commenting on this site you should realli grow up!!!!!
SH*T MICHAEL JACKSON NEVER MOLESTED CHILDREN. or was gay. I know this might sound SO OUT there, but did you ever consider that maybe not all people charged are guilty? That maybe the people who accuse them and make up stories are money-sucking leeches who take advantage of them?
You guys are reaally thick arent you? Being able to distinguish between bullsh*t and truth is too underrated these days.
kaitlyn there is several people on this site that make jokes about mj and always will
you are not gonna ever stop it this guy gets absolutly no respect from most americans short of the fanatics and they even thought he wast guilty by a bunch of fans on the jury and muculu culkin to save his ass . . dont mean he didnt do it, IE oj
all you lovers your not gonna change his legacy by mouthing off in this site
SO LEAVE THIS SITE . . YOU ARE NOW BANISHED 4 LIFE LIKE YOUR HERO FROM CALI
marylou (the real one) I am soooo disappointed in you. I thought you were a loyal fan and no bad words would come out of your mouth about MJ. I know this is a joke site, but those of us who did love him can take the jokes, but know that he was still a good human being in the end that may have been a little wierd at times over the years ok….BUT, he was aquitted and the kids that were on that stand at the end of trial addmitted he did not molest them. I don’t agree that we should sleep with other children that are not our own, i will say NO to that one. That is just wrong, but I trully think he did not molest them. He has given sooooo much money to charity, almost all of his concerts he donated all the proceeds to those in need. Can we honestly say that we GIVE to many charities in need? Some days its hard to even make a good meal for ourselves, but we continue don’t we. And thats what MJ was about, respecting one another and treating each other as we want others to treat us. Please remember that people. Chow…
daddy why do you sleep so much
cause he was changing his nose again
daddy thanks for letting me take this mask off and be my own person, just cause you cover your face because you hate it
what does the real marylu and michael have in common
she was sleeping outside the gate of michaels place when he died
why did michael think when he seen marylu’s p__sy?
da_n b__ch shave that thing it looks like the bushes out front
i like my p__sy hairy more bounce for the ounce
why did bubbles like michael at breakfast
michaels favorite item on the menu was monkeys nutes
Thats nice that you are calling yourself after his daughter who loved him. There’s alot of respect for a dead man…….
its a joke u bit_h
he deserves no respect where he is nobody is above the law
oh yeah michael didnt like bush strictly 8yr olds
dont talk about me like that i dont have a hairy pu_sy anymore i shaved that,
but my lips down there get very large at times and when i c_m it sprays water or something out from it . .lol
da_n marylu thats kind of graphic i guess once you have seen it once you will remember it forever . . .im sure it would look something like caveman from hanna barberra
shoot marylu wax that bit_h thats what i do to mine
ya no what bonnie i am a loyal fan i take back that i aint gonna comment cos i am!!!! and if use wanna talk like that why don’t yall go to a porn site you foul mouth gits, thought this site was ment to be about a) jokes and b) michael jackson not porn you loosers
R.I.P michael, obviously you d**ks have nothing else to say about m.j cos use no you were wrong
yeah right…
Billie Jean is always talkin, when nobody’else is talkin, tellin lies and rubbin shoulders, so they called her mouth a motor…….
Michael Jackson was seen running into the K-Mart the other day…..he heard that little boy’s clothes were half-off.
bonnie go suck one like gay mike
bonnie i want u 2 suck mine its 8 inches so you will have to do it twice
hey guys yo yo yo check this out marylu and bonnie are the same person
double the stupid
yo yo yo yo mamma go rot
you forgot a couple:
what are michael jackson and farrah fawcett both getting for christmas???
patrick swayze……
when farrah fawcett died, st. peter asked her what her one wish was, and she said for all the children in the world to be safe, which is the real reason a few hours later michael jackson was dead…..
now jackos dead elizibeth taylor can have her wig back