Top 5 Michael Jackson Late-Night Jokes
Well, it seems Jacko is back in the news again, seems he’s sold out his latest and supposedly final European tour. He’s selling Neverland, and he’s attracted the attention – once again – of the late night crew. So, without further ado, I present some of the best MJ jokes via Late Night hosts of all time (past or present)…
- “The saddest part of this Michael Jackson scandal is that all of this could have been avoided if he just stuck to grabbing his own crotch.” ~ Craig Kilborn
- “Johnny Cochran died and had a funeral. You know who was at the funeral – both O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson. In fact, Michael cornered O.J. and said, ‘How do you get stains off a glove?’” ~Bill Maher
- “What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Dick Cheney? One has pasty white skin, fake body parts and he’s creepy; the other’s Michael Jackson.” ~ Jay Leno
- “The judge in the Michael Jackson child molestation trial selected 250 candidates for the jury pool, while Jackson himself has selected 20 for the kiddie pool.” ~ Amy Poehler
- “It’s like they always say, if you’re rich and white, you can get away with anything.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel
So what are your favorites? Not jokes… quotes! Post them in the comments below.
What'd You Think?
(86 votes, average: 2.97 out of 5)
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HERE’S A MJ JOKE [ WHAT DOES MICHAEL JACKSON DO AT NIGHT WHEN HE’S HOME ALONE?
ANSWER—- HE PULLS DOWN HIS BILLIE JEANS TAKES OUT HIS THRILLER AND BEATS IT
@scott: that’s just gross =S
Scott, they asked for quotes not jokes…
A clear example that our education system is failing…
It’s pretty dumb to have a post titled “top 5 MJ Late night JOKES” post five “JOKES” as said by late night people. And then tell the commenters we have to “quote” other peoples MJ “JOKES” instead of just posting the dang on joke.
I have a joke what do you get when you cross Arnold swarstnagger with Micheal Jacson. Micheal was a negger
good 1 scott lol
scott that was a good one but jacks was very booring…sory jack
the rest were also booring wat the hell cant you make up better mj jokes
What do Garbage bags and Michael Jackson have in common?
They’re both made of plastic and should be kept away from children.
I dont blame you all… u aint got jokes, look at Jack, he is so ugly when he was born the Dr asked, its that it or u gonna give birth?
LOL
Michel Jackson is making a come back he rks!!!!
you A$$ hole!!!
what does micheal jackson and a playstation have in commen?
they’re both black and plastic and they get turned on by children
what do mj and walmart have in common?
they both have little boys pants half off
xDDDD
yea i know….
still funny though
oops i just noticed where they said quotes… my bad
What do Michael Jackson and Ronald McDonald have in common?
-They both like to stuff their meat into little kids.
what do mj and me have in common?
eyes.
Did you hear the results of the Michael Jackson autopsy ? Turns out that food poisoning was the cause of death, not a heart attack, Michael had gotten a hold of some 12-year old nuts.
In honor of Michael Jackson, McDonalds is creating the McJackson. It a 50 year old piece of meat, between two 8 year old buns. Special sauce optional.
Also heard that MJ is being cremated. They are gonna make Lego’s out of his remains, so little boys can now play with him.
When Ferrah F. died and went to heaven, god granted her 1 wish. Her wish was for all the children to be safe. 3hrs. later, Michael Jackson died.
boring boring boring stupid not funny lame so not friendly jokes.
i’ve got 1 . when they cremated mj he had so muchplastic in him they’re making toys out of it so as the kids can play with him 4 once
ha beat dat bearch!
Dude! I Already posted that joke! Why to pay attention
Go Fu%k Yourselves… Sick F$%kers
Chris, its all jokes get over urself man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Michael Jackson was the Sick F!@KER!
according to these jokes!
no offense to those MJ lovers out there but take a friegen JOKE people!
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and zits? Zits didn’t come on Macaulay Culkin’s face till he was 13
I HATE JOKES . omg .on these ‘ mj funny jokes’ everyone hates him but on youtube when hes performin at his 30th anniversery concert everyone loves him …. i dont get it. tabloids should be voodooed but these jokes r kinda funny and the world needs to stop mourning and get bac into the 21st centurary music again lolza… now mj’s gone just watch johnny depp or whitney houson or otha old stars drop down dead ……
they are cremating mj
theyre melting him down and turning him into plastic party cups so kids can still get their lips around his rim lol
Y’all should get some of conan’s monologue on there he rocks @ mj jokes! U do realize u put the melting mj n2 plastic joke over & over on there