Top 10 Ways To Get Rid Of A Telemarketer
Personally I don’t care for telemarketers, in fact I really don’t care for them. They call at the most inoppertune times - when you’re eating, sleeping, relaxing, or just sitting around doing nothing (yea even then it’s annoying). In the even you have alittle time on your hands and want to really ensure they don’t call back (let’s face it, the National Do Not Call List only goes so far)… here is the F&J top 10 list for getting rid of a telemarketer…
- Say, “No,” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they’re trying to speak. Maybe sing a song with all “No’s” This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
- If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could it. Ask, “How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like that other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?”
- If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to know?” Or you can say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my colon is acting up again, my rectum are sore, my pet rock just died…” When they try to get back to the sales process, just keep talking about your problems… if they persist - ask them why they don’t care.
- If the person says he’s Joe Shmoe from the Acme Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask for his address. Ask for landmarks. Continue asking questions about the company for as long as necessary.
- This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: “Hi, my name is Jessica and I’m with Roger Dodd Services…. You: “Hang on a second.” (few seconds pause) “Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?”
- If you get one of those pushy sales people who just won’t shut up, patiently listen to their sales pitch. When they try to close the deal, tell them that you’ll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, go shopping or whatever. See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card.
- If a long distance phone company calls trying to get you to sign up for their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?” If that doesn’t work, say “Please.”
- Tell them you work for the same company they work for. For example: Telemarketer: “This is John From Acme Sales.”
You: “Acme Sales, hey I work for them too! Which center are you calling from?”
Telemarketer: “Uh, Dallas, Texas.”
You: “Great, how’s business over there? The weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya.” - Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional “Uh-huh, really, or, “That’s fascinating.” Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn’t give your credit card number to someone who’s a complete stranger. You might even find your soulmate.
- Tell the telemarketer (this is my personal favorite) you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of telemarketers). If the sales person says, “Well, I don’t really want to get a call at home,” say, “Ya! Now you know how I feel.” (smiling, of course…)
What'd You Think?
(102 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5)
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November 8th, 2007 at 12:26 am
when i began getting annoying phone calls from telemarketers i decided to give em a taste of their own medicine.
so i had an answerin machine set up. when the telemarketers would call, the phone would pick up then i left my message,” For option 1 press 3 for option 4 press 2, for option 3 press 5 for option 2 press 1 if you did not hear your option then this call is terminated.and the phone would disconnect. By the time they hear all the options, but there are no options they get annoyed, i would wait for my phone to ring, and i would listen to what theyd say. they d usually just hang up. finally after about a week, they stopped calling. lol
November 8th, 2007 at 12:36 am
Im gonna start useing those from now on.
November 8th, 2007 at 11:42 am
tim, that is funnie. i like that idea. don’t you hate answering machines, it’s giving the telemarketer a taste of their own medicine.
November 9th, 2007 at 4:01 am
I’ll definately use a few of them. Lmao!
November 9th, 2007 at 11:56 am
I say “no” over and over anyhow. They always ask for one of my parents. x3
November 9th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
haha i got a call asking for my Dad and i proceeded to break down in tears and tell him that he walked out on us last weel and if they knew where he was please let me know. then go on a rampage about how you dont think you ever did anything to deserve this and blah blah blah my life sucks. another effective method is to tell them that whoever they are calling for has passed away (proceed with crying) they wont call back after that..
November 9th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
I just try to sell them somethin myself. IE:
them:”hello this is _____(name from company) and we’re calling to talk to you about credit cards.
you:”Oh, yea, Great! I’ve been trying to sell mine for years. So, do you want the five pack or the twenty-five? man I’m telling you, these are great gifts. etc. etc.
Normally they keep trying to get you back to what they are selling.
November 10th, 2007 at 10:14 am
i did not under stand any thing
November 10th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
reem ur just straught dumb
November 11th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
my telemarketer story
Telemarketer:hello my name is rob from Bell long distance would you like to change your long distance?
Me:sure just one sec (few seconds pause, make sure you have speaker phone on) OH MY GOD! GRANPAS NOT BREATHING
Telemarketer: oh my god is he going to be alright???
me:BREATHE YOU S.O.B.
telemarketer:should i dial 911?????
me: OH MY GOD HES TURNING BLUE (make several thumping and thrashing noises) BREATHE!!!!!!!
telemarketer:ok im dialing 911 whats your adress?????
me:(make several coughing noise then say in a hoarse old person voice) Billy? billy is that you? you saved my life!
me:okay back to you… what were you selling again?
telemarketer: oh uh… I wanted to ask you about changing your long distance plan
me: oh riiiiight… no thanks not interested :D.
November 12th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
Well my brother answered the phone and as usual it was an indian telemarketer and after a while Mat (my bro) started asking the woman if she knew of any good indian recipes she said “I am not allowed to talk about that” and proceded to talk about the special offer that she had. Mat still wanted his recipie so he asked again, with the same reply. Then after a while she said alright and proceded to tell him the recipe. So he copied it all down and it turned out to be a really good meal. So this one was useful. Mmmm Indian food ha ha ha
November 13th, 2007 at 10:54 am
I just say:
Somebody pays you to talk to me but no one pays me to listen…
November 13th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
i absolutley loved this one. it is hilarious. especially number 10
November 13th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
I had a cousin of mine do the 6th way to get rid of a telemarketer, except he kept coming back every 25 to 45 minutes, just to check on the poor sap,, telling him, oh wait, I think I know where it is, or Wait just one more sec…I know EXACTLY where I left it., and the dude ended up waiting over 2 and a half hours!, only to have my cousin tell him in the end he only found his blockbuster card, then hung up
November 14th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
i also get alot of telemarketers, and i have a 5 year old little sis, and i start sounding attentative, ill just go get my credit card, and then i give the phone to my lil sis, she loves tlking to em, and then in 10 mins, my sis will say he hung up, with a big smile on her face,. so thank you for makin my sis smile telemarketers
November 16th, 2007 at 9:24 am
I remember one time a telemarketer called really late and i told him not to call so late…and he replies with a smart answer saying i will not call if you buy my product…so i told him I will disconect the phone and then he goes wait is this Rick and i’m like yeah how’d you know my name…and he’s like i just guessed now please buy my product…blabbing on about how he will get fired if i don’t buy his product…I told him i’m going to get fired if i don’t leave right now. so i hung up…later he calls up in about an hour…he says i knew it you weren’t going to work and he hung up. S.O.B.
November 16th, 2007 at 9:27 am
and Reem ur a dumass
November 16th, 2007 at 9:28 am
and Nessa go back to school You Fcuking ‘tard…learn how to spell straight right
November 16th, 2007 at 9:30 am
The only reason i spelled dumass wrong and fcuking wrong is because it wouldn’t post
November 17th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
just go along with everything then give toataly false card details continue to do so untill theye give up
November 19th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
all i do is act that im a police officer and pretend that the guy they are calling is dead and it is a murder scene
i keep them talking for about 5mins then say ” ok i think your a suspect, where do you live? dont worry we wont arrest you” then wisper ” hey bob this suspect thinks we wont arrest him”
then they just hang up
lol
fun times
November 20th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
start talking to them like you know them
November 20th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
I just say “ya know? i met a person that sounds just like you? his name is jim. he is nice he never has road rash. (ect. ect) OR i just speaking in spanish OR act like i am selling something useless like glow in the dark _____(food artical)
November 20th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
DUHH ROAD ->RAGE
November 20th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
start playing super mario music or ledgend of zelda music and then ask them if they know the name of he game and if so if they ever played it. if not explain the game. ask them what there fave. game is. I HAVENT USED IT **RESAULTS ARN’T ALWAYS THIS AWESOME**
IT WONT WORK WITHOUT THE SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Usually telemarketers get paid by how long their phone calls last.
So I wouldn’t leave the phone with them on it.
November 23rd, 2007 at 10:40 am
lol funny w#nks
November 24th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
I use to be a telemarketer for 4 months. i know “we” are annoying, but try doing it for a day!! You wouldnt believe all of the stuff i have heard!! “top 10 ways to get rid of a telemarketer” plus 50. Before i was a telemarketer i hated them i tried every thing to make them stop calling, but now i kinda feel sorry for them, it is really a hard job, mentally. just a little thought for those of u that treat them badly when they call. And for those of u that make them laugh and politely ask them to stop hats off to u!!
November 24th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
I use to be a telemarketer for 4 months. i know “we” are annoying, but try doing it for a day!! You wouldnt believe all of the stuff i have heard!! “top 10 ways to get rid of a telemarketer” plus 50. Before i was a telemarketer i hated them i tried every thing to make them stop calling, but now i kinda feel sorry for them, it is really a hard job, mentally. just a little thought for those of u that treat them badly when they call. And for those of u that make them laugh and politely ask them to stop hats off to u!!
November 26th, 2007 at 4:35 am
Dear Frustrators,
I am not surprised to see such prank talk about telemarketers, but one must try to empathise the most hard working fellows on the planet, I challenge anyone to work as a telemarketer and then comment on a telemarketing call. The most professsional way to stop them calling you is ask them to “send me a mail with specific instruction that If I find it useful I will call you back”.
November 28th, 2007 at 6:42 am
After working as a telemarket for 5 years i found most of these ways to get rid of telemarketers childish. The easiest way to deal with it is to say, “Please, put me on your do not call list.” If they call you, it is a fine.
November 28th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
if they ask 4 ur parents say they just died and begin crying hysterically
November 29th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
good idea’s!!!!
November 30th, 2007 at 8:55 am
The one about getting your credit card and let them wait is a bad idea. The company gets paid on how many munites you are on the phone with them. so leaving your phone on the table with them is a bad idea bc you are making the company money.
November 30th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
I just say “I’m the maid” or “no habla ingles”
December 1st, 2007 at 7:49 am
it’s not funny enoough
thank you any way
December 5th, 2007 at 12:00 am
Most companys dont pay for how long they were on the phone. they usually get paid per hour like most ppl. or if its a survey company they get paid per survey or per pages of surveys. the best way to get rid of telemarketers is asking them to put u on there do not call list. if they keep calling it usually is a fine.
March 29th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
when they speak in english say ” no habla ingles” and when they Talk in spanish say” I don’t speak Spanish”
March 30th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
i like to tell them about the irritating pimples on my back and ask them if they know any home remedies.or i tell them to f!@# off and hang up that works too
April 22nd, 2008 at 6:51 am
really funny but i do feel a little sorry for the telemarketers
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 am
i have to use these thanx 4 posting them
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:51 am
how could u feel sorry 4 telemarkerters there so annoying
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
One time I was about to call a friend. as soon as i picked up the phone a telemarketer had called sooo the milisecond it rang i had it picked up
I caught him off gaurd a little and he studdered when giving his prepared sentences. I just hanged up, but It was a very unique… experience.