Top 10 Ways To Get Rid Of A Telemarketer
Personally I don't care for telemarketers, in fact I really don't care for them. They call at the most inoppertune times - when you're eating, sleeping, relaxing, or just sitting around doing nothing (yea even then it's annoying). In the even you have alittle time on your hands and want to really ensure they don't call back (let's face it, the National Do Not Call List only goes so far)... here is the F&J top 10 list for getting rid of a telemarketer...
- Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. Maybe sing a song with all "No's" This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
- If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could it. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like that other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"
- If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my colon is acting up again, my rectum are sore, my pet rock just died..." When they try to get back to the sales process, just keep talking about your problems... if they persist - ask them why they don't care.
- If the person says he's Joe Shmoe from the Acme Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask for his address. Ask for landmarks. Continue asking questions about the company for as long as necessary.
- This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Jessica and I'm with Roger Dodd Services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"
- If you get one of those pushy sales people who just won't shut up, patiently listen to their sales pitch. When they try to close the deal, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, go shopping or whatever. See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your credit card.
- If a long distance phone company calls trying to get you to sign up for their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?" If that doesn't work, say "Please."
- Tell them you work for the same company they work for. For example: Telemarketer: "This is John From Acme Sales."
You: "Acme Sales, hey I work for them too! Which center are you calling from?"
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas."
You: "Great, how's business over there? The weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya." - Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger. You might even find your soulmate.
- Tell the telemarketer (this is my personal favorite) you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of telemarketers). If the sales person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)
What'd You Think?
(251 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)
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You took #10 from Seinfeld. At least give them credit
Yeah have been telemarketer for a bloody long time and worked some real C#nt jobs.
If a telemarketer is pissed of because ur mean to them he will allways get the last laugh!
If someone was mean to me i would simply hit the button on the computer that calls them back in 5 minutes or the next day. 99.9% of the time i didnt get caught and even when it did it was worth it.
Ever wondered why a telemarketer is so dumb? Its because hes taking the piss out of you and he has you on loudspeaker so his mates can have a giggle to. I would get people to repeat themselves 5 times and then act like i understood it, then i would repeat what they say and ask if thats right.
I got heaps of peoples names and numbers that i harrass after having a few beers. All people who have annoyed me.
If you think what you read here is funny spend 5 minutes with me on the phone and i will give you a reason to laugh. You get good at it being a telemarketer.
So if you get a ridiculous amount of calls from telemarketers maybe you need to rethink your strategy on how to deal with them. Chances are many of them have hit that “callback” button on there computer for you countless times.
I never did any of this to people who didnt piss me off first
The best way to get rid of them is
# “Sorry mate you have the wrong number” be nice about it “Have a good day”
or
#If you have one where they dont ask for a name get on the do not call register because they wont be legally alowed to call you
And with what starfire said. Dont ever give them the wrong credit card number because thats fraud and if the card goes through your in alot of trouble because they will debit someone elses account and chances are mr ganesh in india has a recording of you giving that number and you could be in big trouble
heres my joke 10 way to get rid a telemarketer my phone number is 618 5043
I remember like 5 or 10 years ago my dad recieved a call from a telemarketer as he was stepping out the door to go the dinner, and he actually convinced the guy to give him his number saying he would call back when he came back.
My cousin was over the night so like an hour later we called the number and starting asking the guy, “We’ve been looking all over for Yankees tickets, we really want to get some. Do you know where we can get anything?? That got him off the phone pretty fast.
this should be an one step only, hung up the phone and stick on doing whatever you were doing…
I answered the phone, listened to the man, then told him, “Hold on, please, I think I just heard a window break.” I set down the phone, picked up a pair of heavy metal bush trimmers, and dropped them on my wooden floor. I then shouted, “AGH! I’VE BEEN SHOT,” and left the phone sitting there.
I also worked as a Telemarketer for about 4 months. Yes the job sucks and because I feel their pain I was nice to them for a while. The problem is they prey on nice people. It is the nice guy you agrees to buy a product he dosent want just so the telemarketer can put a point in his sales column. You can not be nice to a telemarketer and believe me I have tried. If you say I have never bought somthing over the phone and I assure you I never will so you are wasting your time with me only gets them to try and sell to you again. If you are really sadistic or if the telemarketer is expecially annoying I have the very best way to get them. When you are a telemarketer you have to read pages and pages of information to the would be sale(you are monitored to make sure you do) unless the customer says no then you can skip to the next scripted response. If you really want to piss a telemarketer off then you should let him go through the entire process, let him talk himself horse, ask every question you can think of and by the end of his day he will feel as if he has gargled with razor blades. Oh and you are tempting the fates saying you will buy something and not giving them your credit card number. Most of the time they already have it and a unscrupulous or pissed off telemarketer can sign you up for a item and you wont even know about it until the bill comes through in a few months. Think of the pain of the butt that would be having to call up the company and sit on hold to talk to a telemarketer:))
Anti Christ,if you are not really the Anti Christ and you just picked on that name for whatever weird reason,here’s a piece of advice:Give your life to the Lord Jesus Christ before it is too late and stop bearing such an evil name.
Furthermore,Anti Christ and every other person who is yet to give their life to Jesus,here’s how to do it:1)Find a quiet place.2)Look up to heaven and say 3)LORD,I believe that Jesus is the Son of GOD,that he died on the cross for my sins and rose up the third day never to die again.4)Confess your sins to GOD and ask HIM to forgive you.5)Say Jesus is Lord.6)Ask for Jesus to come into your life and save you.7)Ask for the Holy Spirit.All the best.
Here’s 1: play along a minute or 2, then say just a minute with an excuse (bathroom, window, stove…) then turn on the TV. Loud. Preferably sports =D
Say that your phone is almost out of batteries and say “I’d be happy to hear more about this, so could you please give me a call on my mobile? the number is 0419317446″ <<it's the reject number so if they are stupid enough to call, then they won't bother you anymore
LOL! OMG #5!!! Oh goodness, i know that would scare the hell out of me!!lolest!
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