Thoughts On Getting Older

Today, as I sit here in my office, I realize I’m getting older. Not terribly old, but definately older today than I was yesterday. As I sit here and ponder thoughts like “with age comes wisdom” and “aging like a fine wine”, one can’t help but to think negative thoughts like…

  • Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
  • There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two.
  • You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
  • Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
  • Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn’t that a bad time for a guy to get those odds?
  • You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.
  • Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
  • By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
  • Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
  • A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
  • You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

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