Things You’ll Never Catch A Redneck Saying

You won’t ever hear a redneck say things like… 

• I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
• Duct tape won’t fix that.
• Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
• Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.
• We don’t keep firearms in this house.
• Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
• You can’t feed that to the dog.
• I thought Graceland was tacky.
• No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.
• Wrestling’s fake.
• Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
• We’re vegetarians.
• Do you think my gut is too big?
• I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
• Honey, we don’t need another dog.
• Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?
• Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
• Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
• Spittin’ is such a nasty habit.
• I just couldn’t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
• Checkmate.
• She’s too young to be wearing a bikini.
• Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
• Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.
• I don’t have a favorite college team.
• Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
• You ALL.
• Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
• Nope, no more for me. I’m drivin’ tonight.

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Things You’ll Never Catch A Redneck Saying was written by F&J Staff on Friday, June 22nd, 2007 at 10:48 am. It was filed under Jokes, Redneck Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the Comments RSS feed. You may also be interested in reading ,  Ten Things You’ll Never Hear A Redneck Say,  The Perfect Woman,  Redneck Barbie,  Redneck Logic,  Won The Lottery.