The Duck Hunter
A duck hunter was out in the marsh, enjoying the beautiful hunting weather when he felt the urge to relieve himself. So he walked over to the bushes and propped his gun against a tree. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew and knocked his gun over, discharging it and shooting him in the genitals.
Awaking several hours later in a hospital bed, our duck hunter is approached by his doctor. "Sir," the doc begins "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is there's no internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot."
"Wow, that's great!" replied the hunter. "So what's the bad news?"
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."
"Oh, well that's not so bad I guess," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"
"Not exactly." answered the doctor. "She's a flute player in the local symphony, and she's gonna to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."
What'd You Think?
(413 votes, average: 2.31 out of 5)
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doc should have left some in,then your man would have some lead in his pencil.
That made me LOL
Nothing like a good joke
hahahaha thats funny
i dont get it, how is that funny?
ddnt get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dnt get it;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
U ppl r retarted if u do not understand this joke!!!!!!!!! this is the BEST joke i have ever readin my whole entirelife and right now i am working on being at the age of 87!! so go back to elementary school and learn something!
87? yea.. ok.. thats why you type like a teenager.
lol this joke was funny xD
oh and lern two spel
I’m like not getting this joke, this joke is worst than stale
I’m not getting that joke, this joke is even worste thank stale
The joke is very bad infact there joke here
That’s not funny it was kinda re tarded
i get the joke its ok it is not a joke that i will laugh out loud 2 its not sumthing i will be laughing really hard 2 so yea
I have some jokes.(The Duck Hunter is not funny)
Government Mentality
A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation.
The old rancher says, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”
The Water representative says, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep running for his life and close behind is the rancher’s bull. The bull is gaining with every step. The Rep is clearly terrified, so the old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..
“Your card! Show him your card!”
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Football and the Blonde
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
‘Oh, I really liked it,’ she replied, ‘especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.’
Dumbfounded, her date asked, ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents
—————————————————————————————-
The Burglar
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, “Jesus is watching you.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the flashlight on and began searching for more valuables.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” the burglar hissed at the parrot.
“Yep,” the parrot confessed, and then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you.” The burglar relaxed, “Warn me, huh?” Who in the world are you?
“Moses,” replied the bird. “Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”
“The kind of people that would name a Pit Bull Jesus!!!”
Plz reply if you think any are funny.
pretty stupid
Nice jokes IKnowWhatAJokeIs! And this joke is funny as well! ^_^
This joke is not funny in its straight literal description. The joke is really funny when you imagine the guy without genitals actually sticking his fingers in the holes around his genitals to avoid the stream of pee shooting up to his eyes.
So just in case he doesn’t cover all the holes when he’s peeing, it’ll be like a water bottle full of water with numerous holes punched on its surface.
Life can be funny.
THE PHENOMENON CALLED LIFE THROUGH MY COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES … http://lifeshortstory.wordpress.com/2009/04/16/who-is-luckier/
this was funny i always o hunting with my grandpa and yes i am a girl and i think this is so funny
gross but funny
i dont understand why ppl don’t get it. i thought it was one of the funniest jokes on this site.
so i herd u like mudkipz?
wow! this was freaking retarted!
seriously; it was stupidddd!
I really dont get this joke, if sum1 can explain that last part
the ppl who say that jokes r retarted r the ppl who cant’ understand them. they are trying to pretend they are smart enough to call other ppl dumb simply because the joke is not funny in their eyes. by the way… im sorry if u think i was calling ppl stupid. i promise that was not my intention.
This joke isn’t all that funny. But I did understand it. Perhaps I have lost my sense of humor, it seems other people enjoyed it.
i really cant get the last part too……
Dat joke is funny to those who understands it
Must not be very many people who hunt on here. Buckshot? you dont hunt ducks with buckshot. it’ll tear em’ up to bad.
knowing where to put your fingers is very important, as any flute player or plastic surgeon knows.
to IKnowWhatAJokeIs- very nice
IKnowWhatAJokeIs, very funny especially the first lol, and as for the duck hunter not so much!
duck hunter joke was sick & for ur info u should name urself idontknowwhatajokeis
you people make me sick especially you
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thats a lol…
A nice one.
Well atleast he hadslutions to is problems