Taliban Jokes
Q. What's the difference between Elvis and Osama Bin Laden?
A. Osama is a dead man!
Q. What do Monica Lewinsky and Osama Bin Laden have in common?
A. They both blew a power structure!!
To catch Osama Bin Laden, Grandpa sez:
Spray Afghanistan with Viagra and the little prick will pop up!
Q. Why does Osama Bin Laden collect goat shit?
A. Because it's a great growing culture for anthrax, and it makes terrific deodorant.
Q. Why did Osama fire Martha Stewart?
A. She was unable to find fabric that went with stalagmites.
Q. What do you call a Taliban with a goat and a sheep?
A. Bisexual.
Q. Why did the Taliban school alternate Sex Education classes with Drivers Ed.?
A. They only had one camel.
Q. What's another name for the DaisyCutter bomb?
A. The TaliWhacker.
Q. Why do the Taliban wear robes?
A. A goat can hear a zipper a mile away.
Q. Know what the Taliban do for fun?
A. Sit around and get bombed
Osama Bin Laden never sleeps in the same place two nights in a row, just like Bill Clinton.
Q. What's the national bird of Afghanistan?
A. Duck!!
Q. Why do they call the camel "the ship of the desert?"
A. Because it's full of Arab semen!
Q. Why are there no TV's in Afghanistan?
A. Because of the Telly ban.
Q. Why does Osama Bin Laden have a beard?
A. He wants to look like his mother.
Q. How is Osama Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A. Both look out the window and see Rubble.
Q. What do you call a Taliban who owns six goats?
A. A pimp.
A fitting punishment for Osama Bin Laden:
Capture him and give him a sex change operation, then return him to Afghanistan to live under Taliban rule.
Q. Why does Osama Bin Laden carry a piece of shit in his pocket?
A. Photo I.D.
What'd You Think?
(53 votes, average: 3.72 out of 5)
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hahhahaaha! my dad looks like osama bin laden! so its like ur talkin bout him! these are funny xpecially the first few and last’uns!
That was very gay
Too funny, I’ll be sharing most of these!
Have you heard of Taliban rubber bondage? It’s wearing fireman’s boots to tuck the hind legs of the goat into.
Why don’t the Taliban have the crabs? The crabs keep losing in the race riots against the goat ticks.
Have you heard of the Taliban Kama Sutra? It’s the list of instructions glued to the back of the goat.
How do you know when you’ve entered Taliban country? The goats start running from you backwards.
What’s got six legs and flies around fast? A Taliban porking a goat in a minefield, boom boom!
Why do the Taliban wear beards? To fool the nanny goats into thinking they are billys.
Have you heard that the Taliban have invented the edible condom? Looks like an ordinary condom, except after it’s been used the goat eats it.
Have you heard of the 14-year old Taliban warrior who needed a face transplant? He didn’t get hit by a grenade, but porked his first goat and didn’t want to miss out on the kissing!
What happened to the Taliban goat thief? He got stoned for adultery.
What do you call a field full of goats with a pot of coffee in one corner? A Taliban brothel with a bar.
Have you heard of the Taliban can-can? It’s a row of goats, flicking their tails.
There were these three goats in a field in Afghanistan. One said: “I’m just a sex slave, my Taliban owner ties me up outside the cave where he lives and rapes me every day”. The second said: “So what? I’ve had a land-cruiser of Taliban chase me around a mountain for a gang rape.” The third said: “So what? I was being porked by a Taliban, and some others stoned us. I’m covered in bruises.” “Uh, why did they do that?” “I’m a billy goat, and the Taliban hate gays!”
Why do the Taliban put their women in black burqas? Because, when they are on their hands and knees, they look like goats.
What do you call a goat market? A Taliban singles bar.
How do a Taliban woman get pregnant? After her husband has sex, she wipes out the goat’s ass with a bit of rag and pushes it up her front.
Have you heard of the latest Taliban porn film? It’s called “Deep Goat”.