Swine Flu Jokes
Ok, these are all that great… but it’s been requested (alot). So I figured we’d post what we have. Thanks to all those who submitted these short jokes via email or as submitted drafts. Feel free to rail on them in the comments, or add your own.
H1N1 Virus (Swine Flu) Jokes
- Q: Did you hear about the guy who said he would get sick when pigs Fly.
A: The Swine Flu - Q: Did you here about the pig who went on the plane?
Response you might get: The swine flu (this can be the punch line unless they say it. if so then respond: Are you kidding it can’t get on by itself; it needs a carrier). - I had a glass of merlot last night. I woke up this morning with a cough and a sniffle. I think it’s wine flu.
- Someone once said that when a Black man becomes the president, pigs will fly. Sure enough 100 days later.. “swine flew (flu)”.
This Little Piggy
- This little piggy went to market.
- This little piggy stayed at home.
- This little piggy had roast beef.
- This little piggy had none.
- And this little piggy went “cough, sneeze” and the whole world’s media went mad over the imminent destruction of the human race, and every journalist found ut that they didn’t have to do too much work if they just did “Find ‘bird’, replace with ’swine’” on all their saved articles from a year ago, er, all the way home.
PS – Anyone else awaiting the first Policeman to be diagnosed with Swine Flu?
What'd You Think?
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there was a bear, a lion and a pig.
-the bear said: that when he growls the whole forest gets frightened
-the lion said: that when he growls the whole jungle gets frightened
-the pig said: so what, all i have to do is sneeze and the whole world shits its self!
The wolf said to the 3 little pigs “Come out or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down”. The littlest pig replied “F*** off or I’ll sneeze on you!”
where do you bank the funds for a cure for swine flu in a piggy bank.how do girls wear their if they have swine flu in pig tails. whats the quickest way to get to the doctor if you have swine flu via a butcher on a pigs trotter. who was the best girl friend for kermit the frog when he was diagnosed with swine flu miss piggy. what is the favourite game used in a swine flu treatment room piggy in the middle.
The way swine flu was received into the world is strange…
When it was head-lines for the first couple of weeks every-one wore those white masks.
Yet, HIV has been around for alot of years, still no-one wears condoms.
Strange…
how do you check to see if you have the swine flu?
taste your booger and if it tastes like pork rinds you have the swine flu
Why does a cocaine addict deal with the swine flu so well because they no how to snort.
i had swine flu
the jokes flu’ed me and i flew a river to flu depression out o my fluing brain… now heres a good joke with me or i can say its ……. CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SWINE’S SOUL……..
A Blonde ran towards a terrible accident scene where a truck had collided with a motorcycle. A man was creeping in pain was shoutig and crying louder and louder…….. blonde got irritated and asked him why for heaven sake he is crying … to whch some how the man replied “…i…ve….l.o.s.t…..m.y……..a.r.m………” The blonde tried to console him “….So what? see your friend lying silent next to you he has lost his whole head………….. IS HE CRYING?
My friend thought she had swine flu so she oinked a appointment with her docter, Mr Snort!
if you get an email saying that eating tinned pork gives you swine flu, they are lying… its the spam!
when swine flu was announced to the world the headline read what a bore
When the world announce the swine flu epidemic the headline read what a bore
Once in the Que to get checked for swine flue in front of hospital, a person tried to jump the Que. But he was stopped by a pig threatening to sneeze at him.
Moral:- Don’t underestimate others.
I think i have swine flu
Cause I’m breaking out in Rashers!!!
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
With bird flu the doctor gives you tweetments. With swine flu he’ll just give you some oinkment.
haha ya mum has swine flu!
I think iv got swine flu, im feeling pigheaded. I need the hambulense to come.
I have swine flu and I feel Offal…but I have been told I will be bacon my feet real soon..
Please stop…. it’s so bad…..
people have been saying that the day when we have a black president is when pigs fly.yew 1 week into obamas presidnecy SWINE FLU!
IN THE SECOND SENTENCE CHANGE “YEW” TO “YET” IN UBOVE JOKE