Speeding Ticket

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver’s door. “Is there a problem Officer?” The policeman says, “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?” The driver responds, “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.” “You don’t have one?” The man responds, “I lost it four times for drink driving.”

The policeman is shocked. “I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?” “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.” The policeman says, “Why not?” “I stole this car.” The officer says, “Stole it?” The man says, “Yes, and I killed the owner.” At this point the officer is getting irate. “You what!?” “She’s in the trunk if you want to see” replied the man.

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

The senior officer says “Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!” The man steps out of his vehicle. “Is there a problem sir?” asked the man. “One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner” replied the officer. “Murdered the owner?” asked the man in disbelief.

The officer insists, “Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car?” The man opens the trunk, revealing nothing but empty space. The officer says, “Is this your car sir?” The man says “Yes,” and hands over the registration papers. The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.”

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. “Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner.”

The man replies, “I bet you the lying bastard said I was speeding, too!”

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