Some Short Doctor Jokes

WE’ve got a whole slew of great Doctor Jokes that have submitted by our loyal F&J readers, though many of them just aren’t quite long enough to publish by themselves. We’ve taken a few and compiled them here, just for you : )

  • “Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!” (This one is our favorite)
  • Patient: “Doctor, are you sure I’m suffering from pneumonia? I’ve heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.” Doctor: “Don’t worry, it won’t happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia.”
  • The difference between a neurotic and a psychotic is that, while a psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 5, a neurotic knows the answer is 4, but it worries him.
  • A Short History of Medicine: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
    • 2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.”
    • 1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
    • 1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”
    • 1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”
    • 1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”
    • 2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”
  • The seven-year old girl told her mom, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.” “Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?” “Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company.” (See how innocent that was?)

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