Random Rants About Stuff That Ticks Me Off
I’m kinda bored, sitting here in front of my computer with nothing really to do. I’m in kindof a bad mood, so maybe I’ll just rant about a few things that tick me off. You got a problem with that?
Tatoos. Having a tattoo with Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.
Wal-Mart. I’m not the cashier! By the time I get done sliding my friggen card, entering my PIN number, pressing “Enter,” verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don’t want cash back, and pressing “Enter” again… the kid who’s “supposed” to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Snickers bar. Paper? Plastic? I don’t have time for that. I’ve just been called to do a cleanup on aisle four!
Baseball cards. You know, as I kid I collected them. Hell I think every kid collects baseball cards. The cards represent your heros, your idols, people you wanted to be like when you grew up. My problem isn’t with kids… it’s adults. Listen if you’re a grown man you’re not collecting cards, you’re collecting pictures of men. That’s gay.
Old People. Stop messing with them. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time gramps figures out how to open it his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
Women and their eyebrows. What’s the deal here? Why are you soooo obsessed with making them skinny, pointy, curved, slanted or whatever. Men don’t care. Do you have two eybrows? Great. Let’s get it on!
You know what else ticks me off? People that read my stuff and don’t leave a comment. I mean, damn, this site gets 15,000 visitors a day and I get maybe 20 comments. What the hell? How about letting me know what ticks YOU off. Mmmmk. Thanks.
What'd You Think?
(164 votes, average: 3.59 out of 5)
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March 13th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
you are so funny! i love these! haha and i did leave you a comment so you cant get ticked at me!!!!!!!
March 13th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
That a girl candice! Now get back to work!
March 13th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
love it
March 13th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
The baseball cards thing was funny.
March 13th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
You know what ticks me off ?
Site admins that tell visitors to comment on this this pointless articles !
Just jk ! lol
March 14th, 2008 at 10:17 am
TARGET- why is this store always two seasons ahead? We’ve got 10 inches of snow, but can I find some gloves or a snow shovel? Hell no, but we’ve got board shorts and patio furniture out the wazzoo. By that logic, the Australian Target should be unboxing their parkas and sweaters about now. Road trip!
March 15th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
right now, YOU
March 15th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
what ticks me off? HORRIBLE SHOWS THAT ARE A WASTE OF MY TIME!
March 15th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
so freakin awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 16th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Lol dude, this is FRIGGIN HILARIOUS.
March 17th, 2008 at 10:02 am
omg! this is hilarious! and i do leave comments so ha! but this was kinda the day im having (ive ranted about everything) so it was kool to know im not alone thanks for the laugh!
March 17th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
People: LABLES. if your not like them then you should die *rolls eyes* i hate when ppl do that
March 17th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
haha.
very funny.
but what ticks me off….hell, i could go on forever.
:]
when a guy says your hot…then starts liking somebody else.
yep.
that’s what ticks me off. :]
March 18th, 2008 at 2:04 am
When I finally give in to my cat, feed him sh*t I know he shouldn’t be eating, and he thanks me by how ungracefully he starts hacking the middle of the room and gags up a nice big, colorful, juicy, so-called ‘FURBALL.’
When my daughter or my husband put away the dishes, & I go to get a pot or pan out to use- I find it so crammed into the cabinet, that when I finally unlodge it from the cabinet, everything else decides to follow. Better yet.. when I go, after dinner now, to get a container for the leftovers.. from the ‘other’ cabinet- yah. Here we go again. WHY THE?!?
When my pants fit me today, but two days later- when I really planned on wearing them- I’m trying to zipper them, saying ‘Oh My Goodness!’—You’ve got to be kidding.
When my youngest daughter throws a fit over doing her math homework, but then later that evening will come to me with a quarter and a devious smile. While swaying with that “I’m a sweet and innocent little girl’ look- says “I’ll trade you my quarter for 2 of your quarters!”… sometimes it’s like a dime, a nickel, and a few pennies for quarter… depending what machine, or store we’re by!
March 18th, 2008 at 10:48 am
what ticks me off… you ready, here I go:
when your searching your *ss off for something nobody wants to help you look and eventually you find it, theyre the ones to say ” its always the last place you look” well of course its the last place you look, cause, hello, after I found the thing Im not going to carry on looking now am I???
people who talk in movies, especially those ho are like “whoa, dyou see that”… Id be like no, I paid 70 bucks to sit and look at the floor, duh!
Or like when your AT the movies and you see someone from work and theyre like “jee, hi, what you sdoing here” and Im like “doing my groceries - duh”
Or if you have to work late or if you still at home, someone walks in and ingeniously asks :”oh hi, you still here” id be like “no actually I left 10minutes ago” duh
getting ticked off right now…
March 18th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Weblogs that make me “sign-in” or become a member in order to comment. Nothing I have to say to you is that important to me.
March 19th, 2008 at 9:37 am
Nice, something that gets on my nerves, is when your at a restauraunt and the waiter only comes around every 25 min or so. Or when you go to a fast food joint and the cashier gets mad when you want to change your order. omg how hard is it to press delete?
March 19th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Lol those are good ones! for me one of the things is this:
When my friggen dog manages to escape out of my house and starts running around the neighborhood. then as im chasing him with the leash, someone has the nerve to stand there and say,” get that dog on a leash!” like im not trying to???
March 20th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Those are hilarious! Here’s mine:
I’m 25, and I work with an 89 yrs old woman, I take care of her, but shes still pretty active, I don’t have to feed her or anything, anyway, she’s kinda blind and deaf, so whenever she thanks me for something and I say “you’re welcome” she doesn’t here me right, so she starts YELLING at me saying I should say “you’re welcome”….I mean, doesn’t she know shes deaf? BUT, when I cough or sneeze, she turns around and tells me to put my hand in front of my mouth (so, she can here me sneeze but she can’t hear me talking right beside her) The thing is, I do put my hand in front of my mouth, but she can’t see me the way shes turned around……she thinks my mother didnt raise me or something, she’s gonna teach me politeness…….its verry insulting…anyway she’s not senile or alzeimers or anything, if you were wondering, shes just a b*tch.
March 20th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
this is so true. and funny
March 21st, 2008 at 9:52 am
you kno what ticks me off!!. people that talk about what ticks them off!!.. sounds like someone needs a counsoler to talk to .. good luck with the future hoope nothing ticks you off ,, i suggest a day of bed rest with no people .. no walmart. …
Well urs truly
The ticked one
March 21st, 2008 at 9:53 am
Hey i think you need to cut back on the nesquik!
the one and onli jelly bean
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:15 am
ummmmmmmmm…. this stuff is pretty funny…you know what really ticks me off tho?
people who dont have a life that get on the computer and type up stupid *ss bulletins that everyone thinks are funny but are really just a bunch of b.s….ya… lolz…
March 22nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
you really want to know??? well be prepared for a really long list…
what ticks me off…hmmm that’s a really good question because a lot of things tick me off.
first off, being born. WHO THE FUC* WANTS TO BE AROUND MY LAZY FAT AS* AND TELL ME TO FUC*ING EXERSIZE?!?! HUH!?!? it’s like i have a life and it’s art. so people like my mother tell me to draw them a nice picture and them right in the middle of it they say “GET OFF YOU LAZY AS* AND GET SOME EXERSIZE!!!!!! it’s like my mom wanted to have sex and then kill me when i was born. something i don’t take lightly.
second, i hate my sisters. they think they’re the grand high bitc*es and they can do what ever they want. WHO CARES WHAT YOU CAN DO!!!!!! i always tell them to get a stupid fricken life and to leave me out of it. but wait, is that even possiable? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! it’s because i was BOARN!!!!!!!!!!! now do you see why it ticks me off??? i bet you don’t!
third: taking a piss! yeah i said it! if i have to get up to piss every 5 hours or 30 min then i am going to get really mad. why can’t we addapt to just watching a fuc*ing movie all the way through withought having to stop it? easy question answered…BECAUSE I HAVE TO PISS IN A LITTLE WHITE BOWL THAT HAS A FUC*ING LID THAT I HAVE TO LIFT AND WHEN I DO…I SEE BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fourth: the menstral cycle. i am now begining to think that god really hates us men. see there is this time where women have there moments. one of them is the curse. at first i didn’t get it but i do now. and so i decided to tell you why. it’s called the curse because what happens is IT HURTS LIKE FUC*! and when i lift the lid, poor little me has to see blood spiewed all over the place, on the cieling, on the floor, on the mirror, and on my FUC*ING FEET!!!!!!
fith: god. i think you can guess this one, because there are some people that have to argue about it with me i will make my point. god dosn’t exist. the reason why i say this is because first off, robbery, second, death/guns/hatrid/”the great flood” third, the fact that if you prey to him, you’re preying to you’re cieling. heaven is not up, down, left, right, down, up, right, or left. and i sware to god if you dare say it’s to the upper right i will come and find you!
sixth: shoving shi* in someones face. BRAGGING SUCKS! if you’re going to brag to me…FU*K OFF!!!! i don’t want to hear about how you screwed your female dog lastnight in the middle of a pool full of sprite, that’s not what i want to hear. now if it’s about something intelligant like i finally figured out the meaning of life, then i might let you get away with it. now if you’re just saying shi* to make me mad, i have a shotgun…
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…let me see here what elce ticks me off?????? OH YEAH!!!!!!! NOT BEING ABLE TO FUC* A GIRL AT THE AGE OF 10 WHEN I FINALLY FIGURE OUT ABOUT SEX AND START BEADING OFF TO PRONOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I HATE THIS WORLD!!!!!!!
thankyou for not reading the whole thing, now if you don’t ming, i have a date with my right hand!
thanks for reading this…
roski (not my real name…)
March 22nd, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Ok here’s one that is true of everyone, else
Asking an immensly stupid question such as: Oh no you appear to have fallen down a 30ft well are you alright??
OF COURSE NOT so why ask?!
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:09 pm
you piss me off you stupid jew
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:09 pm
you asked 4 it
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:10 pm
lol my name
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March 23rd, 2008 at 10:11 pm
twat is a funny name choice
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:13 pm
you are both stupid
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:13 pm
gregor suck me off you cum burping gutter slut
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:15 pm
you guys should quit spamming
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:19 pm
March 24th, 2008 at 3:20 am
here i am posting 2 hrs after some idiot saying this: its not fu*king hard to blok out wat ticks u of!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 24th, 2008 at 6:38 am
this website rocks!!!! its so cool i luv how honest it is.
March 24th, 2008 at 10:41 am
You are sooo crazy and sooo right i mean that crap really happens
March 24th, 2008 at 10:43 am
u r soo crazy n that crap really happens you r soo right. s/t i get mad at the same things it really pisses me off sometimes.
March 24th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
know what ticks me off? Ignorant people *Do not stop chainsaw with hands or genitals* (actual label. look for it). Know what that means? someone actually tried it
March 25th, 2008 at 9:57 am
i honestly think that people that are as skinny as a toothpick and keep saying they’re fat are the most annoying beings on this planet besides my boyfriend.
also, the fact that my boyfiend won’t kiss me or make any move to take the relationship further
people think i’m stupid just because i don’t understand things the way they do
the fact that my boyfriend’s birthday is the same day we go to Texas
my parents, they think i’m stupid just because i don’t get jokes and stuff that they get almost automatically
March 25th, 2008 at 11:59 am
haha.
i think all of it is funny but the women with their eyebrows
March 25th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
i liked the baseball one..that was funny…
March 26th, 2008 at 10:07 am
What makes me mad is when people act different, trying to impress, look tough ect. It’s very annoying. another thing is when I started my comment I hit Alt then shift and closed this.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, “Has the bus come
yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
March 27th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
WHAT PISSES ME OFF IS WHEN THE PERSON DRIVING IN FRONT OF ME SUDDENLY BRAKES FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I SLOW DOWN, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF I SHOULD GO AROUND THEM OR WHAT, AND THEN THEY EITHER TURN INTO A PARKING LOT ENTRANCE OR DRIVEWAY, OR TURN LEFT WHEN THERE IS A SUICIDE LANE THERE FOR THE TAKING…USE YOUR DAMN BLKINERS…THATS WHAT THEY ARE THERE FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT I DO LIKE YOUR RANTS…VERY NICE
March 28th, 2008 at 12:49 am
I have 500 channels on my TV. So what’s the deal with changing the channel during a commercial and ALWAYS landing right in another commercial? That really grinds my gears.
March 28th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
YOU tick me off =). Oh and what really ticks me off are internet jerks kthxbai
March 29th, 2008 at 4:44 am
hey this comment goes out to do i have to…. First you gotta get your head outta your tight a*s and clean the sh*t outta your eyes cause YES THERE IS A GOD and you really should think about reading the bible cause then you might be a happier more productive person and you might not be such a lazy fat a*s and you should be glad you’re alive and not someone who has no arms legs eyes or whatever and you think your sisters act like grand high bit*hes who think they can do whatever well maybe they can do whatever cause maybe they put their minds to whatever they are trying to accomplish and you say they need to get a life well maybe you’re the one who needs a life and you shouldn’t hate them cause maybe one day you’ll need them and cause you act like you’re 2 years old they are gunna laugh at you straight in your face and tell you to go f*ck yourself FIND GOD HE”LL HELP YOU and make you a better person good luck to you
March 29th, 2008 at 4:49 am
what ticks me off…… people who try saying there’s no god you people need to pick up a bible and crack it open read some pages then maybe try praying cause you’ll be surprised how god will listen and do something good for you
March 30th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
you do know that some guy wrote the bible. hell, if i could write a book, say it’s from ‘god’, and make a billion dollars, i would! i bet you believe global warming doesn’t exist. lol
oh, and jj… if your so biblical, why you insulting people? maybe you should read a bible, =) way to suck. =)
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:25 am
Its not about who is right or who is wrong….. You are a man and you must work hard. I believe in God coz no matter how hard my life maybe he is always there to give me something to look forward. I have hard my sad moments but those moments are the ones paying off right now. Coz of my belief, now i owe a number of business with more than million dollars per annum.
I remember when i nearly killed myself coz things were not going my way. My good sister died, within a month my best brother committed suicide, my dad had a stroke and my best friend also died in a road accident, If i was a cowered who always find people to blame or blame God for my miss fortunes i could have killed myself but God gave something to look forward to. Man just try to read the bible and you will be supprised what God has instock for u.
Why do u say there is no God coz of Dearth, are u a kid who doesnt kno that life is about being born and dieing. When u die do want to be remebered as a lazy pig or Bill Gates. Make a choice dude coz tomorrow you might be no more
April 4th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
i<3u
jesus does to
April 5th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
I have to be perfect all the time. That’s what ticks me off.
April 5th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
THINGS THAT TICK ME OFF:
1. I have to be perfect all the time.
2. I must get into Harvard University.
3. 90% of the people who leave comments on this website have spelling or grammatical errors.
4. People who make fun of Asians with their pointy eye thing.
5. A LOT MORE.
April 10th, 2008 at 7:50 am
wow that was great…….:D
okay here’s what tics me off…
when people point to there watch and ask what time it is. You dont point at your crotch when you ask where the bathroom is do you???
April 11th, 2008 at 10:21 am
lots of things tick me off…president…dumbasses that cant drive…alcoholic jokes being blocked because of school >.<;;;;
o when your doing something and all of a sudden the bell–
April 11th, 2008 at 11:25 am
What ticks me off: when your chatting online and someone deicides to start spamming….. i wish try there computers explodes.
What ticks me off: people who think there crap dont stink, they got a stick so far up there butt, they cant get it out!
What tick me off: Fat annoying kids
April 11th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
If I wanted to be insulted by a good for nothing loser with no life, I’d be at chess club.
April 21st, 2008 at 3:26 pm
…when u leave ur new dog in the house…put newspaper like EVERYWHERE …but the freakin thing always manages to poop on that little spot that u didnt cover up ?? -.-
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:25 am
HERE’S A COMMENT…YOU’RE STUPID.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:02 am
Really funny it is a Sunday and I was trying to find funny jokes online instead of watching pointless television..
You know what gets me..Young people who will spend hours looking at materials that have nothing to do with their future and spend little to no time studying important matters, doing something postive with the energy they have, and/or..the negative attitude towards everything positive..I bet the next person that sees themselves in this post will probably get irritated with someone pointing out the obvious and make a huge comeback comment to make them feel better about themselves..its okay its what happens..All smiles..Do better people lets come up..
April 30th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
You know what ticks me off? Myself. And men with stupid asian festishes. What’s the point? Yuck. Interbreeding sucks. It’s ok for flowers but people? Let’s get for real. No need for it when there’s plenty of people in each stupid country!!! Yes, I’m cute, yes, I’m Asian, yes, I have a soft-spoken voice but DO NOT ASSUME about me. Because you all suck.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:56 pm
DUMB ASS STOP WHINING SO MUCH
May 7th, 2008 at 11:55 am
hahahahahahahahaha r u happi now
May 9th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
hi
May 9th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
well probably wen a guy sayz they like u and u start going out wif tham then they dump u and go out wif sum1 else and say they will go out wif u once they brake up
and i hate being cheated on
May 15th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
the only reason im leavin a comment is to tell who ever wrote these jokes u r retarded, get a life
May 15th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
You know what ticks ME off? You didn’t open up the Target pills and eat them all.
kidding. . .
funny jokes. nice.
May 16th, 2008 at 8:56 am
I hate women drivers… enough said about that, I hate rude white folk and rude colored people but rude chinese are funny as hell and you cant get mad cause they dont even know how to talk, they are so cute too lol. but to end it off if you havent got ripped today alot more will probably make you mad but until then stay high guy and it aint easy being greasy.
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Do i have to or Rosci or whatever the hell your name is u seriously should jump off a cliff. u know what pisses me off, when people cant spell. i dont mind when people talk text but when u cant spell u need to go back to school. and nobody wants to know what u do in your spare time. u might have a shotgun but u wont do nothin with it. u r just a scared little man that cant get puddy
May 28th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
You know what pisses me off? People who think there funny… you here a joke and it sounds like the most boring story in the world, then they finish and the least you can give them is a couressy laugh! Then that makes them feel worse than if you were to just call them a jackass!!! Thats what really pisses me off.
June 2nd, 2008 at 12:41 am
u know what ticks me off?
CRAPPY JOKES LIKE THESE
June 7th, 2008 at 1:02 am
when your parents ask you what are you looking at or what your doing. Did you finish your homework and did you study for the stupid easy test.
June 8th, 2008 at 1:48 am
Hey “Do I have to???”:
You’re young. You’re harsh. If your mom wanted to kill you she could have.
It’s people like you who annoy me.
June 19th, 2008 at 4:55 am
Amusing, somewhat. You have potential, and could be funny given the right inspiration. Take a look at some David Sedaris tapes.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
THIS IS FREAKIN hilarious.
June 19th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
this is FREAKING HILLARIOUS!!>
June 22nd, 2008 at 10:38 pm
wanna know what ticks me off? well things that tick me off r when ppl telling u to tell them what ticks u off… cuz then u have to think about all of the things that tick u off and that just ticks me off more!
wait… did that make any sence?
June 27th, 2008 at 10:56 am
HaHaHaaaaa
Your Jokes…
August 2nd, 2008 at 2:56 pm
dz iz jokes….retard stuff xxx
August 4th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
was u held as a child?
August 29th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
HAHA>>>FUNNY STUFF =]
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Uh, there’s a lot.
1. COMPUTER LITERACY.
why the fuck do people have to take that class ? half the dumbasses on the internet can’t even spell, much less type. They need to teach these bitches grammar.
2. How people try to act tough. It pisses me off. Seriously, you live in the same neighborhood as me. It’s nice, it’s middle class, and it’s not the middle of the fucking ghetto.
3.Sarah Palin. “Nuff said.
4. People with staring problems. TAKE A PICTURE, IT’LL LAST LONGER.
5. This happens to me a lot. We’ll be sitting in class, and the subject of drugs/alcohol will come up. Now, I’m a really shy person so I don’t talk a lot. And then they’ll be talking about how much they love getting trashed, etc. And they’ll turn to me and ask me if I do too (since I’m sitting near them). And when I say no, most of the time they will say/do something along these lines. “ARHARHARHAR (retard laugh) Are you straightedge ? XXX fo life ? Harharharhar.” And hold up an X witht heir arms. And then I’ll say yes, because I am. Usually then they ask, really ? And then they don’t insult it again. Like,seriously ? You were just making fun of it , so obviously you don’t like it, but you stop once you now I am ? Why can’t you just man up and make fun of it to my face once you know ?
6. Hannah Montana. I wanna punch her in her ugly fat face. And her stupid 11 year old fans.
7. The Jonas Brothers. On the same level as ^^. Their only fans are people who listen to hip hop/rap all the time and they think that the JoBros are actually rock.
8. [almost done] People look at me and are like “AHH, I WISH I WAS AS SKINNY AS YOU.” yeah, that’s because you’re fat. Sorry, but I’m not going to give you compliments just because you’re fishing for them. Plus, it makes me feel guilty, of all things, to be skinny. What the fuck ?
9. People who say they’re should be NO exceptions for abortion. I agree if you’re just a slut you shouldn’t get an abortion. But what if you got raped ? Chances are that baby is not going to get a chance at a normal life, seeing as its mother is a rape victim, and (maybe) won’t know who its father is. Yeah, I’d love to grow up and hear that I was a rape baby.And there is also the possibility that the rap victim is young (but still able to get pregnant). Why would you bring a baby into this world if it’s going to be defected ?
wow. That was long:]
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:47 pm
U know wat ticks me off ÞΣØÞ£Ê who talks too freaking much and when they see that your trying to get them 2 shutup they just keep on talking ………..those freaking IDIOTS!!!!!!!!
And i also hate loud people ugh