Poker One-Liners

Last night I got thrown out of a casino… apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table.

In Vegas they’ll bet on anything. One casino was ready to let me bet on whether I’d win or lose there.

I’m going to the casino tonight. I hope I break even. I need the money.

I had nothing to do, so just for a laugh I went to the casino. In three hours I’d laughed away my car.

What is the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years the dog quits whining.

What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it!

Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs (ok that was lame).

The wife of a doctor called the casino to get her husband paged. They refused. The house doesn’t make doctor calls.

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