Obama Jokes

Look, I can’t resist. We’ve posted a few Obama Jokes already, in fact I think we’ve written something about Barack Obama five times in the past month. Between the 2008 US elections and all the national television spots running he’s been on TV more than those annoying Subway commercials. Love or hate Barack, our readers love reading jokes about him.

Obama Jokes We’ve Already Posted

  1. Barack Obama -vs- An Intelligent Little Girl
  2. Barack Hussein Obama, Can’t We Joke About Him?
  3. Plot To Kidnap Obama Exposed!
  4. Short Q&A Obama Jokes
  5. Spread The Wealth

Late Night Hosts On Obama Being Elected President

“See, I got to admit, as a comedian, I’m gonna miss President Bush. Because Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. He doesn’t give you a lot to go on. See, this is why God gave us Joe Biden.” ~Jay Leno

“Earlier this evening, Barack Obama’s 30-minute infomercial appeared on three of the major networks. … Now, if you didn’t see it, one part was a little odd. At the end, Barack said, ‘If you vote now, we’ll throw in a set of steak knives and a can of Oxiclean.’” ~Jay Leno

“But I thought it was one of those heartwarming infomercials. It had a wonderful ending. In the final scene Barack Obama is adopted by Angelina Jolie.” ~Dave Letterman

“But all this doesn’t matter because Obama keeps pulling away in the polls. Every week, he gets a little more ahead. And with almost all groups. Liberals, of course, always supported him. … And conservatives like the idea of paying a black man to clean up their mess.” ~Bill Maher

Obama Himself Cracking Jokes

“That’s what he talked about yesterday, ‘I want to drill here. I want to drill now.’ I don’t know where he was standing. I think he was in a building somewhere.” ~Obama on John McCain’s energy plan.

“I would have to…investigate more of Bill’s dancing abilities, you know, and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother.” ~Obama on whether Bill Clinton was our first black president.

“I don’t want to be invited to the family hunting party.” ~Obama responding to revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins.

“But I have to say tonight’s venue isn’t really what I’m used to. I was originally told we’d be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium, and can somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?” ~Obama at the Al Smith Dinner.

Obama, McCain and All Hillary Die And Go To Heaven

John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven. God looks down from his throne and asks McCain, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”

McCain takes a breath and then replies, “Well, I think so because I was a great leader and tried to follow the words in your great book.” God looks down and then says, “You can sit to my left side.”

So, McCain takes his seat and then God asks the same question to Hillary, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?” Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, “I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long.” God again looks down and this time says, “You can sit to my right side.”

Finally God turns to Barack Obama and asks, “Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?”
Obama smiled and replied, “I think you’re in my seat.”

A Closing Note From Jay Leno

“Barack Obama gave a big speech on race, and there was one heckler in the audience, kept screaming crazy stuff the whole time. Turns out it was his pastor.”


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