Obama Jokes
Look, I can't resist. We've posted a few Obama Jokes already, in fact I think we've written something about Barack Obama five times in the past month. Between the 2008 US elections and all the national television spots running he's been on TV more than those annoying Subway commercials. Love or hate Barack, our readers love reading jokes about him.
Obama Jokes We've Already Posted
- Barack Obama -vs- An Intelligent Little Girl
- Barack Hussein Obama, Can’t We Joke About Him?
- Plot To Kidnap Obama Exposed!
- Short Q&A Obama Jokes
- Spread The Wealth
Late Night Hosts On Obama Being Elected President
"See, I got to admit, as a comedian, I'm gonna miss President Bush. Because Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. He doesn't give you a lot to go on. See, this is why God gave us Joe Biden." ~Jay Leno
"Earlier this evening, Barack Obama's 30-minute infomercial appeared on three of the major networks. ... Now, if you didn't see it, one part was a little odd. At the end, Barack said, 'If you vote now, we'll throw in a set of steak knives and a can of Oxiclean.'" ~Jay Leno
"But I thought it was one of those heartwarming infomercials. It had a wonderful ending. In the final scene Barack Obama is adopted by Angelina Jolie." ~Dave Letterman
"But all this doesn't matter because Obama keeps pulling away in the polls. Every week, he gets a little more ahead. And with almost all groups. Liberals, of course, always supported him. ... And conservatives like the idea of paying a black man to clean up their mess." ~Bill Maher
Obama Himself Cracking Jokes
"That's what he talked about yesterday, 'I want to drill here. I want to drill now.' I don't know where he was standing. I think he was in a building somewhere." ~Obama on John McCain's energy plan.
"I would have to...investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities, you know, and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother." ~Obama on whether Bill Clinton was our first black president.
"I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." ~Obama responding to revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins.
"But I have to say tonight's venue isn't really what I'm used to. I was originally told we'd be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium, and can somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?" ~Obama at the Al Smith Dinner.
Obama, McCain and All Hillary Die And Go To Heaven
John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven. God looks down from his throne and asks McCain, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"
McCain takes a breath and then replies, "Well, I think so because I was a great leader and tried to follow the words in your great book." God looks down and then says, "You can sit to my left side."
So, McCain takes his seat and then God asks the same question to Hillary, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?" Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, "I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long." God again looks down and this time says, "You can sit to my right side."
Finally God turns to Barack Obama and asks, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"
Obama smiled and replied, "I think you're in my seat."
A Closing Note From Jay Leno
"Barack Obama gave a big speech on race, and there was one heckler in the audience, kept screaming crazy stuff the whole time. Turns out it was his pastor."
What'd You Think?
(354 votes, average: 3.36 out of 5)
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Ben, sadly I have to say that I don’t think I’ll be checking this page any more. It sort of died. Anyway, I’m sorry if I at any point insulted you.
Good luck,
Jack
Ben, sadly I have to say that I don’t think I’ll be checking this page any more. It sort of di ed. Anyway, I’m sorry if I at any point insulted you.
Good luck,
Jack
k sorry if jack ass was an insult to u
Aren’t all presidents after Ronald Reagan a joke? Reagan cleaned up this mess only to have Bill Clinton destroy our country again. Under Obama, we are headed into socialism sure enough. Where is Ron Paul when we need him? The American people have mostly turned to third party which they should have done 50 years ago!!!! I have a former governor in my family tree and I don’t respect him either. It is time the American people woke up! Do you know who really ruined this country? FDR!!!!!!!!!!!
Just heard this one tonight…..What’s the difference between the Portland Zoo and the White House? The Portland Zoo has an African lion…..aaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha! It may be an old joke, I don’t know, but ya gotta admit…..it’s funny!
no obama sucks!
Obama is ignorant and he is destroying our country.. If the people dont see that than shame on us.. can anyone stand up for what they believe in anymore?
Did you hear that at Wal-Mart they have Obama christmas ornaments?
I didnt know it was still legal to hang a black person from a tree.
Obama is a retard, with him in we might as well say “,Hey Al-Quieda Can attack us whenever we want.
Whoops sorry. whenever THEY want
Obama sucks
funny jokes thanks
obama sucks
Guys, lets not fight.
This is a joke website, please dont fight.
peace
Guys,lets not fight.
You dont all have to lik ethe same people and things, but there’s no reason to fight and be mean. just try to be happy.
Think about this there’s been no further attacks even though our detection of plans and response still isn’t where it ought to be it’s gotten alot better than it was and the TSA is improving also diplomatic relations between other countries is a great deal better which is actually what we are going to need to have any chance against this problem. Did you recognize the date the attacks occured and the targets they picked. I looked for a date on the muslim calender and it had no historical or religious significance to the muslims. What I found was that 9-10 was day the UN was formed so why would it be significant? Also if you were an American hating terrorist why would you pass up the opportunity to kill the leader of the free world or risk letting him getting to a bunker? Why attack the day after the anniversary of the UN unless you want to break up the UN? Why not take out the president first? Unless the attacks were an inside job or someone’s been lying then it doesn’t make any sense. Also the deployment happened awful fast without prep time necessary for a successful and well thought outwar that would actually work properly. They the armor plates failed in some cases killing our soldiers and it would be simple enough to shoot every forth piece of armor or test them so maybe someone wanted them to die. Unless you’ve been under a rock ever since this war began you have to understand there is something seriously wronng with how it played out and the VA system was crummy and no one cared that the people who got shot up or had parts of their bodies had adequate care. The centers were crumbling and the treatment areas were full of mold no one did any damn thing about it. Then there was Katrina they didn’t do a good job with that either. The head of FEMA that Bush picked was a total incompetent and had to be replaced. Also the intelligence failure that necessitated the creation of the DHS (Department of Homeland) that didn’t cut any ice with me either. Didn’t hold water at all. Question does what I was told make any sense given the stated objective of the enemy to kill as many Americans as possible? It’s your choice, Kemo. Who and what you believe in is up to you. I’d think before you decide, think about everything you’ve been led to believe and think about my questions answer them for yourself.
hi barak obama “hi little girl”
Greetings peasants of America!
This is a message from your pompous ars rich fat cat lying sacks of socialist excrement Democrats, as well as the incompentant socialist Obama regime.
Histoy is being made. Who cares about jobs for you useless eaters?!
On Christmas Eve we will ram through government run “health care” because we want you preoccupied with the holiday and don’t want you to know we’ve struck like a thief in the night.
So have a Merry Socialist Christmas and a Happy Socialist New Year you stupid little sheep
Freedom is dead, love live the socialist states of Amerika!
Now, we rich fat cat Democrats must go join our elitest friends at some extravagant parties ON YOUR DIME!
Oh, isn’t the remaking of Amerika a wonderous thing! Do not resist our oppression, or we will send our thugs to make sure you are shovel ready.
Hello Mr.Obama.Wish U A Happy & Prosperous New Year.
Thank U
Hello Mr.Obama.Wish U A Happy & Prosperous New Year.
Thank You
Socialism- Where Ronald Reagan administration aids and funds Hussein and bin Laden that YOU paid for. While under the Clinton admin. the republicans refused to listen to Clinton about Al-Quieda and took YOUR money to deal with the sperm stained dress. Where the Bush admin. took YOUR money to pay for universal healthcare in Iraq and yet… nobody complained about any of this socialism. Job went to China? The last time I checked that was a Bush MFN (Most Favorite Nation) policy and not a Clinton NAFTA policy. NAFTA retains to Mexico. Now let’s define the word “irony” while checking all the socialist things the republicans did.
hey fam gd
OBAMA ROCKS BIG TIME, AND WE ALL LOVE HIM
Love the Obama jokes, keep them coming!
just three more years until we can hope for a real president. obama sucks. when i see his face, i cry until my eyes hurt.
It is so sad that people are still stuck in the racist world. We have a great President that cares about the well being of everyone.Some of you might as well be atheist because individuals that follow Jesus care about others as well as helping others. You are some selfish bias racist . Let it go Obama is for everyone. If you were in need of help maybe you would learn to appreciate and love him for being a good man. As for those who continue to be negative , I am quite certain that you are white and you really dont have a valid reason for your dislikes. We as the black race have welcomed white Presidents with much grattitude, good or bad so let the mind frame of your ancestors go live for yourself this is a new generation with new and changinging events learn to welcome new things with class and dignity.
So we elect this “messiah” and he will just be the bomb. And no matter what he does, we are with him because he knows best and has the right intentions… Or we don’t trust anybody anymore past two years to lead us because we have learned to” question authority”. Or this world is too complex for any leader to fix it. Anything I think is only BECAUSE I am white. My argument is racist if I disagree. Oh wait, I’m confused, I thought I could dislike what a president does regardless of his or my race. Thanks for teaching me therapist.
**As for those who continue to be negative , I am quite certain that you are white and you really dont have a valid reason for your dislikes
call us racist? cant black people be racist too? i am offended for your comment mr / ms “therapist”. please shut your mouth and think about your comments before you go and make stupid ones. if he (obama) finally does what he says he’ll do (get us out of debt, stop terrorist attacks, etc), then good for him. but all i have seen so far is double our debt, make afntasy draft picks, and host a super bowl party at the white house.
i love my country, i love what we try to do, and even though i dont like whos currently in office, i will follow his every order to the fullest, because he is my commander in chief and it is who (at the time anyways) the majority wanted to lead this country. i am a firm believer in the voting system, since it is the voters themselves who will live through the consequences (good or bad) of who they vote for to lead our country for the next 4 years.
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well “therapist” my question for you and your black race is how many of you knew what Obama stood for at the time of elections. i have noticed alot of people including blacks that say they stand for certain things (“things that Obama stands against) but yet they talk as if Obama is a god. another question i have for you and your black race is how many of you voted for obama because he was black? I already know that it is quite a few. But as much i think the liberals are ignorant and have no common sense or historical knowledge, they knew what they were doing when they got a black man to run for president and were smart enough to make it happen at the right time. also mr. therapist i am NOT racist and as someone who is around racism quite a bit. i no longer belive that is as much the whites being racist as the blacks. Many of the young blacks i have went to school and work with seem to longer want equal rights but superior rights