Obama Jokes
Look, I can't resist. We've posted a few Obama Jokes already, in fact I think we've written something about Barack Obama five times in the past month. Between the 2008 US elections and all the national television spots running he's been on TV more than those annoying Subway commercials. Love or hate Barack, our readers love reading jokes about him.
Obama Jokes We've Already Posted
- Barack Obama -vs- An Intelligent Little Girl
- Barack Hussein Obama, Can’t We Joke About Him?
- Plot To Kidnap Obama Exposed!
- Short Q&A Obama Jokes
- Spread The Wealth
Late Night Hosts On Obama Being Elected President
"See, I got to admit, as a comedian, I'm gonna miss President Bush. Because Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. He doesn't give you a lot to go on. See, this is why God gave us Joe Biden." ~Jay Leno
"Earlier this evening, Barack Obama's 30-minute infomercial appeared on three of the major networks. ... Now, if you didn't see it, one part was a little odd. At the end, Barack said, 'If you vote now, we'll throw in a set of steak knives and a can of Oxiclean.'" ~Jay Leno
"But I thought it was one of those heartwarming infomercials. It had a wonderful ending. In the final scene Barack Obama is adopted by Angelina Jolie." ~Dave Letterman
"But all this doesn't matter because Obama keeps pulling away in the polls. Every week, he gets a little more ahead. And with almost all groups. Liberals, of course, always supported him. ... And conservatives like the idea of paying a black man to clean up their mess." ~Bill Maher
Obama Himself Cracking Jokes
"That's what he talked about yesterday, 'I want to drill here. I want to drill now.' I don't know where he was standing. I think he was in a building somewhere." ~Obama on John McCain's energy plan.
"I would have to...investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities, you know, and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother." ~Obama on whether Bill Clinton was our first black president.
"I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." ~Obama responding to revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins.
"But I have to say tonight's venue isn't really what I'm used to. I was originally told we'd be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium, and can somebody tell me what happened to the Greek columns that I requested?" ~Obama at the Al Smith Dinner.
Obama, McCain and All Hillary Die And Go To Heaven
John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven. God looks down from his throne and asks McCain, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"
McCain takes a breath and then replies, "Well, I think so because I was a great leader and tried to follow the words in your great book." God looks down and then says, "You can sit to my left side."
So, McCain takes his seat and then God asks the same question to Hillary, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?" Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, "I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long." God again looks down and this time says, "You can sit to my right side."
Finally God turns to Barack Obama and asks, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"
Obama smiled and replied, "I think you're in my seat."
A Closing Note From Jay Leno
"Barack Obama gave a big speech on race, and there was one heckler in the audience, kept screaming crazy stuff the whole time. Turns out it was his pastor."
What'd You Think?
(492 votes, average: 3.33 out of 5)
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angel you are an idiot. im sorry but if anyone on here is ignorant it is you. no one is being racist exept the people coming in and calling everyone agaisnt obama a redneck. just because we have common sense and watch the news to see what awfull things hes done are are against him for it does not mean we are red necks!
I see prominent Democrat and former KKK member Robert “Sheets” Byrd is dead. I can feel the world is a better place already. Good riddance.
They are going to bury Robert Byrd the same way as Ted Kennedy. They just bury the ass hole.
obama is an idiot and here are a few reasons..
1). He wants to stop off shore drilling just because of the oil spill.
(bad idea because this only happened from a few idiots.. prolly jigs.. cut corners like they tend to do.. so stopping off shore drilling will just put a lot of hard working americans..not the lazy jigs who cant get a job cause they dont try.. out of work.)
2). He wants free health care for the lazy people .. prolly nigs.. who dont have jobs.
So basically the people who have jobs are gonna pay for the people who dont. Heres this school example.. the people who work for the good grades and study will get a D so the people who dont can also pass… This will cause the people who work to not want to work because its not worth there time if they can live off the govenment.. causing unemployment to rise and our debt to rise.
@OBAMA IS THE MAN
i enjoyed you “2.)” it made my day, thank you someone finaly understands
OBAMA
ONE
BIGG
ASSSSS
MISTAKE
AMERICA
And his way of handling the economy
The Obama economy utilizes a system of carefully monitored checks and balances. He writes the checks, you pay the balance.
Some funny obama jokes here. good to share them. i had some laugh
1. Mr. Obama is a very intellectual, charming individual. He is not to be underestimated. He is a cool customer who doesn’t show his emotions. It’s very hard to know what’s behind the mask.The taking down of the Clinton dynasty was an amazing accomplishment. The Clintons still do not understand what hit them. Obama was in the perfect place at the perfect time.
2. Obama has political skills comparable to Reagan and Clinton . He has a way of making you think he’s on your side, agreeing with your position, while doing the opposite. Pay no attention to what he SAYS; rather, watch what he DOES!
3. Obama has a ruthless quest for power. He did not come to Washington to make something out of himself, but rather to change everything, including dismantling capitalism. He can’t be straightforward on his ambitions, as the public would not go along. He has a heavy hand, and wants to level the playing field with income redistribution and punishment to the achievers of society. He would like to model the USA to Great Britain orCanada .
4. His three main goals are to control ENERGY, PUBLIC EDUCATION, and NATIONAL HEALTHCARE by the Federal government. He doesn’t care about the auto or financial services industries, but got them as an early bonus. The cap and trade will add costs to everything and stifle growth. Paying for FREE college education is his goal. Most scary is his healthcare program, because if you make it FREE and add 46,000,000 people to a Medicare-type single-payer system, the costs will go through the roof. The only way to control costs is with massive RATIONING of services, like in Canada . God forbid!
5. He has surrounded himself with mostly far-left academic types. No one around him has ever even run a candy store. But they are going to try and run the auto, financial, banking and other industries. This obviously can’t work in the long run. Obama is not a socialist; rather he’s a far-left secular progressive bent on nothing short of revolution. He ran as a moderate, but will govern from the hard left. Again, watch what he does, not what he says.
6. Obama doesn’t really see himself as President of the United States , but more as a ruler over the world.. He sees himself above it all, trying to orchestrate & coordinate various countries and their agendas. He sees moral equivalency in all cultures. His apology tour in Germany and England was a prime example of how he sees America , as an imperialist nation that has been arrogant, rather than a great noble nation that has at times made errors. This is the first President ever who has chastised our allies and appeased our enemies!
7. He is now handing out goodies. He hopes that the bill (and pain) will not come due until after he is reelected in 2012. He would like to blame all problems on Bush from the past, and hopefully his successor in the future. He has a huge ego, and Dr. Krauthammer believes he is a narcissist.
8. Republicans are in the wilderness for a while, but will emerge strong. Republicans are pining for another Reagan, but there will never be another like him. Krauthammer believes Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty & Bobby Jindahl (except for his terrible speech in February) are the future of the party. Newt Gingrich is brilliant, but has baggage. Sarah Palin is sincere and intelligent, but needs to really be seriously boning up on facts and info if she is to be a serious candidate in the future… We need to return to the party of lower taxes, smaller government, personal responsibility, strong national defense, and state’s rights.
9. The current level of spending is irresponsible and outrageous. We are spending trillions that we don’t have.. This could lead to hyperinflation, depression or worse. No country has ever spent themselves into prosperity. The media is giving Obama, Reid and Pelosi a pass because they love their agenda. But eventually the bill will come due and people will realize the huge bailouts didn’t work, nor will the stimulus package.These were trillion-dollar payoffs to Obama’s allies, unions and the Congress to placate the left, so he can get support for #4 above.
10. The election was over in mid-September when Lehman brothers failed, fear and panic swept in, we had an unpopular President, and the war was grinding on indefinitely without a clear outcome. The people are in pain, and the mantra of change caused people to act emotionally. Any Dem would have won this election; it was surprising it was as close as it was.
11. In 2012, if the unemployment rate is over 10%, Republicans will be swept back into power. If it’s under 8%, the Dems continue to roll. If it’s between 8-10%, it will be a dogfight. It will all be about the economy. I hope this gets you really thinking about what’s happening in Washington and Congress. There is a left-wing revolution going on, according to Krauthammer, and he encourages us to keep the faith and join the loyal resistance. The work will be hard, but we’re right on most issues and can reclaim our country, before it’s far too late.
Do yourself a long term favor, send this to all who will listen to an intelligent assessment of the big picture. All our futures and children’s futures depend on our good understanding of what is really going on in DC, and our action pursuant to that understanding!! It really IS up to each of us to take individual action!! Start with educating your friends and neighbors!!!
I agree with you Ty on some things. He is saying one thing and doing another but thats not always a good thing. I dont think I would compare him to Reagan because there are a few differrences like: 1. Obama is a Democrat unlike Reagan. 2. Reagan wouldnt screw around when a conflict erupted like Grenado and I belive a 3rd world country in Africa but Obama would bring “Peaceful Coexistence” . However, he was a lot like Clinton in to many ways to list. And about the tour in EUROPE, when he should be apologizing to his OWN nation about how he’s running the Nation instead. And my final point I will make because there are plenty more i would like to make but I dont have time to. Its about health care. I wish America was embrace what it really is: A REPULIC. The reason is: a repulic allows the people to choose. Notice in the pledge of alligance it says “And to the REPULIC for which it stands” And now I wil end with this ” Obama promises change but When?
I left out the Health care part. The Health care plan is unbeliveable. No one wanted it and its benifits may be cheap, but it isnt as high quality health care as Blue Cross or any other health insuranse company. Now I am finished
obama is not a truthful prisedent because of the following:
-he said that he would close juantanamo bay, but he didnt.
-he said he would crash Alqaeda soon but he didnt.
-he is against human rights as he supports Bush when he killed 1,500,000 Iraqis.
I think that Obama is going to get killed before this is all said and done. He is ruining our country and cant wait till he is out of office! And Ray i think that you are right. Obama is one BIG ASSS MISTAKE! he needs to get out of here and go run a country where they like being run into the ground! He is nothing but a fraud. He is crazy. He is also a waste of space on this earth.
I would like a comment is Obama Cock Black Colour
let me tell you something Nur Irwana! that comment u just posted is a racist comment! let me tell u to get a life instead of being racist! we are all the same ! we are all people! and whats with the “cock” ????? u better get a life that will help u alot! im sure u were a victim of something, and u were innapropriatly raised , thats why u r posting something that wont help anyone except idiots like u !
@ali, ima tell u something , u have no right to say he will be killed b4 he does all that! r u God or what? u and nur should both get a life instead of practicing racism!
this is all i have to say: we all are all one people!
Yes, we are all human beings. Obama pretended he was a different kind of politician, he pretended he was post racial, pretended he was non partisan, he pretended he would bring all peoples together. He has turned out to be a fraud. He is just your typical corrupt, partisan, race baiting lying sack of socialist democrat excrement. He started losing public support with the beer summit. Remember that? He didn’t know anything about what happened concerning his arrogant professor friend, when the cops came to his residence because of a report of someone trying to break in. So when asked about it, he immediately ASSUMED that the cops were racist and said the cops acted stupidly. This was the start of Obama’s downward trend in the polls. He had taken off his mask and shown what he really is. And then the American public saw all the lies he told in order to ram through his Obamacare. Now they see what a race baiter he is, trying to pitt Hispanics against whites by playing his illegal immgration games with the state of Arizona. Obama’s surrogates have been trying to discredit the Tea Party movement by claiming such true Americans are racists, despite there is no evidence. As a matter of fact, the real racists are Democrats who do not allow black people the right to free speech. If blacks don’t tow the Democrat line, those blacks are labled uncle toms, cracker lovers and an assortment of intolerant tripe. So much for the democrat party being the party of open mindedness and tolerance. Democrats only believe in the right to free speech when that speech agrees with thier extremist ideology. In short, black people are not allowed to leave the democrat plantation. You are supposed to stay down and in your place and keep voting democrat your whole life despite the fact that democrat ideas are responsible for the decay of black cities. You look at Obama and he has lived a priviledge life style, lives it even more so now. His biological father was a communist, his mother a Marxist and many around him had similiar extremist ideologies. It is no wonder, despite his
la te da education that he is a marxist. He went to a marxist church for over 20 years. That’s why all he talks about is redistributing the wealth and socialist justice, tenets of marxism. Now, all this sounds great to those who want everything handed to them. After all, that is why people vote Democrat,
they want everything handed to them, never giving a thought as to how all the freeloading gets paid for. It is only a matter of time when you run out out of other people’s money to steal in order to give to the free loaders. This country is at that point. Spending us into oblivion is only making it worse.
If allowed to keep up this insanity, America will collaspe and yes, then we will have rioting just like some of the European countries that have already gone down the same track Obama is leading us. The bottom line is Obama is nothing but an arrogant elitist Marxist educated idiot. His Harvard degree may sound impressive, but he is demonstating he only has book smarts and no common sense. In order to save America, we must vote as many Democrats out of office. He needs their votes to pass his destructive agenda.
You have to remember, that if he destroys this country, it won’t affect him any. Because he is a multi millionaire. He will earn much more money once out of office, because there are a lot of stupid people willing to hear him read from a teleprompter and read his narcissistic books. He and his family will continue living the high life while millions of Americans suffer the consequences of his incompetance.
A few months ago in my home state, a man used a way to teach his High school math class by using some angles of places people would try to kill Obama. About 1-2 weeks later, the feds showed up and took him to be questioned. They also took his computer just because he used a simple idea to teach his class.
….Just thought I should share that
Looks like the teacher chose a very poor way of trying to keep his students
attention in math class. No doubt a student must have told his parent about it and that’s how the feds found out about it. There were many who made death threats against George Bush and nothing was done about it. Then again, Bush wasn’t the messiah like Obama.
Do u guys like Obama i dont
No rational person would want to see Ombama made into a marter for the communist cause but we should take note of how those who opposed Hitler and Stalan were treated. They were arrested and intimidated. When they gaind real control opponets were arrested and sent to consentration camps.We should be very afraid of what is comming if we sit quietly by. POLITICAL REVELOUTION MUST HAPPEN NOW!!
sean hannity might be sayin “man up” referring to you during his nightly broadcast, but i understand. your name should of been obaman. your parent obviously made a mistake. it’s not your fault you are 1 can short of a six pack.
michelle obama must be the happiest woman alive. with president obama’s pole numbers dropping everyday, michelle can say “honey you never went down on me so fast, so many times and for so long.”
obama will go down in history as the bullwinkle president. president obama said “i will solve all the world problems but implimenting my socialist agenda.” rocky the squirle commented on the statement, “that trick never works.” in reply mr. obama was heard saying, “this time for sure.”
mr obama was in the presidential car when one of the tires went flat. he told this staff to remove all 4 tires until the reason was found why the 1 tire was deflated. he then told everyone to ride the bus.
mr. president, the obama, was sitting on the toilet trying to relieve himself of some sold waste. a few
years pasted and he was still awaiting the finale of his bathroom visit. a knock can from the door. the
obama asked who it was. it was michelle obama, the obama wife, asking “its been awhile honey, are you ok?”
the obama replied in a rather angry tone “i can’t poo, i blame it on george w bush!”
Obama is the Oprah of politicians. Everyone gets a free car!! A Cadillac! Some Ripple, and fried chicken, and watta-melon…Youzah…..Good Times!!!…as JJ would say, “DY-NO-MITE!!!”
wut do u call obama ?
a darky
i really h8 obama!
wanna hear a joke?
OBAMA!!!!!!!
I hate black muther f u c k e r s !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
obama is a crack head with big ass ears!