Newfangled Lincoln Radio


I bought a new Lincoln Aviator but had to return it to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t get the dang radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated, I just didn’t know how to work it. He offered to show me how.

“Nelson,” the salesman said to the radio. The Radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?” “Willie!” he continued and “On The Road Again” began playing from the speakers. Then the salesman said, “Ray Charles!”, and in an instant “Georgia On My Mind” replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, “Beethoven,” I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, “Beatles,” I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, “Ass Holes!” out of frustration.

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch. Amazing.

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Newfangled Lincoln Radio was written by F&J Staff on Sunday, July 29th, 2007 at 10:40 am. It was filed under Jokes, Political Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the Comments RSS feed. You may also be interested in reading ,  Knock Knock #20,  Dead Presidents,  Abe the Lover,  New Orgasm Implant Available For Women,  Farmer On A Plane.


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9 Responses to “Newfangled Lincoln Radio”

  1. Lillian Says:
    July 30th, 2007 at 8:40 pm

    whoever wrote this joke is surely:

    a)a republican.
    b)a dumb jerk.
    and C)a uneducated illiterate.

  2. Maddy Says:
    July 30th, 2007 at 8:49 pm

    I had to read this a couple times to make sure i read it right but, yeah, all i can ditinguish is that if I said ass hole to my radio, whoever wrote this would come on!!

  3. Edwin Camacho Says:
    July 31st, 2007 at 10:39 pm

    Lillian,

    Don’t get mad if you didn’t understand the joke, It’s Ok! Now let’s talk about illiterate… Can you mention the position each of those names hold? Or can you mention the counterpart of each one of those within the Republican party?

    Maddy,
    You didn’t understand it either, read it three or four more times!!!

  4. jean Says:
    August 9th, 2007 at 1:49 am

    Politics aside… this joke is simply not funny.

  5. Auberiah Says:
    September 3rd, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    I found this quite humorous actually. Politics aside…hell it wouldn’t be funny if you put politics aside

  6. joe Says:
    September 12th, 2007 at 8:23 am

    u dont shout ass holes!

    its a couple of kids who run out in front of the car and u shout “fucking kids!” and michal jackson comes on

  7. I like Wolves Says:
    September 18th, 2007 at 10:04 am

    Lol the last two people are funny :o] Joe and Auberiah

  8. animefreak Says:
    February 2nd, 2008 at 8:15 am

    i thought it was a horrible joke. it was not funny at all and yes i did understand it.

  9. Nick Says:
    July 21st, 2008 at 11:28 pm

    The joke wasn’t funny, but joe was

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