New Orgasm Implant Available For Women

A recent news story detailed a medical implant which offers women the chance to experience orgasms with the press of a button. Tiny electrodes are implanted into the spine and a small signal generator in the skin under the buttocks. The patient then controls the sensation with a handheld remote.

Side Effects Of The New Orgasm Implant:

  • Dramatic increase in the number of women seen hanging out at Radio Shack.
  • Cosmopolitan magazine folds due to a drastic shortage of cover story headlines.
  • Dad: now surfs with two remotes Mom: never complains.
  • She never wants to cuddle anymore. It’s click, click, click, and she’s out the door.
  • The Baptists hurriedly draft an extra Commandment.
  • Thanks to a malfunctioning garage door opener, you’re looking at $600 bucks to fix the hole your wife kicked in the dashboard of your SUV.
  • “Not tonight, Honey. I have a thumb ache.”
  • Finally, size really *doesn’t* matter.
  • “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn’t paying attention … I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn’t paying attention … I’m sorry …”
  • Every time your cell phone rings, you feel the uncontrollable urge to shout your surgeon’s name.
  • Side effects? Who cares about… oh… *oh*… OH, GOD! YESSSSSS!
  • In addition to “Mute” and “Favorite,” the wildly popular Radio Shack Ultimate Universal Remote now has a new button: “Big O.”
  • Men no longer feel any responsibility toward satisfying their partner… errr, never mind…

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