Actual McDonald’s Application For Employment
These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
What'd You Think?
(1,473 votes, average: 4.48 out of 5)
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Those special skills are what interest me..!! ha ha.
An older lady was somewhat lonely, and decided that she needed a pet to keep her company. So off to the pet shop she went. Forlornly, she searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this one ugly frog.
As she walked by the barrel he was in, he looked up and winked at her! He whispered, “I’m lonely too, buy me and you won’t be sorry.”
The old Lady figured, what the heck, as she hadn’t found anything else. So, she bought the frog and went to her car. Driving down the road the frog whispered to her, “Kiss me, you won’t be sorry.” So, the old lady figured what the heck, and kissed the frog.
Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, handsome, young prince. Then the prince kissed her back, and you know what the old lady turned into?
The first motel she could find. (She’s old, not dead!)
what to be done in five years time interest me ah….ah
i have read this its funny. i qustion it though who would fill out an app liek this
Haha, this is hilarious! I wish I could write stuff like that on a job application and get away with it =P
Lol @ Laura’s joke, above
hahaha
Sign Here: Aries
lollll
I s0 l0v3 b0th j0k3s th3y ar3 funny
LMAO THAT JOKE WAS JKZ (L) I LOVE ITT.
funny shiz man, if i waz da manager, i would hire him just for bein so darn funny and honest
sure red rivan loll
Ok, I have a small problem….for SEX he put “not yet. still waiting for the right person”…but than for special skills he put “Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.”….So here is my problem…if he has never had sex than how are his skills suited for a more intimate environment?????? hmmmmmmmm…..
THIS IS REALLY FUNNY.
I am a young black male whom which’s in need of a job. can u help me
kool………..1!
intimate doesn’t have to mean sex…
this was funny as hell tho
im gana try this and see if it works lol hahaha
That’s why I don’t eat at McDonalds.
if my boss would hire people like this guy then maybe he wouldn’t go around with suck a big stick up his a**
this is hilareous. i use to be a manager at a McDonalds and i would of totally interviewed this kid just to see what was going through his head. lol
i couldn’t stop laughing @ the answers he gave.
. ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.
they were O.D. hilarious!
oh my god.
I don’t find this funny. wow your such rebel. hahaha jk.
ahhahahah—
this was rellyyy funniee…
i wulldd hiree himm…
if i was 16…
ahhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!1
ahhahahahaha…
that was funniee…
i wulld hiree him….
if i was 16…!!!!!!!!
omg that was funny!!!!
cheeeeeezzzzzz. i luv it. i have no idea hat intimate means.
Sometimes you run across a post like this that suddenly makes you realize that hey, you’re not doing so bad. Especially when compared to this guy.
Lmao omg those answerez had me laughin sooooooo hard!!!!!! Especially “MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?” nd DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.”
really?
Laura, you good
Wow. This kid musta thought he was really original, didn’t he?
What a loser. Although his snarky commentary is mildly amusing.
Hi! There i love jokes please send me jokes
wow i would so get away with this the problem here is that i am not That stupid!!!LOL