Mate Match
Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks did hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called “Mate Match“.
The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers “yes”, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with phone number for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.
One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you’ve heard yet. Anyway, here’s how it all went down:
DJ: “Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of ‘Mate Match’?”
Contestant: (laughing) “Yes, I have.”
DJ: “Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.”
Contestant: “Brian.”
DJ: “Brian, are you married or what?”
Brian: (laughing nervously) “Yes, I am married.”
DJ: “Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.”
Brian: “Sara.”
DJ: “Is Sara at work, Brian?”
Brian: “She is gonna kill me.”
DJ: “Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?”
Brian: (laughing) “Yes, she’s at work.”
DJ: “Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?”
Brian: “About 8 o’clock this morning.”
DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) “Well…”
DJ: “Question #2 - How long did it last?”
Brian: “About 10 minutes.”
DJ: “Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn’t at stake.”
Brian: “Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.”
DJ: “Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clock
this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) “I, ummm, I, well…”
DJ: “This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?”
Brian: “Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks…”
DJ: “Uh huh…”
Brian: “…and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.”
DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”
Brian: “On the kitchen table.”
DJ: “Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I’ve done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife’s work number and call her up. You listen to this.”
[3 minutes of commercials follow.]
DJ: “Okay audience; let’s call Sarah, shall we?” (Touch tones…..ringing….)
Clerk: “Kinkos.”
DJ: “Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?”
Clerk: “This is she.”
DJ: “Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.”
Sarah: (laughing) “A couple of hours?”
DJ: “Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you’ll lose. Sooooooo… do you know the rules of ‘Mate Match’?”
Sarah: “No.”
DJ: “Good!”
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) “Brian, what the hell are you up to?”
Brian: (laughing) “Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.”
DJ: “Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.”
Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?”
Sarah: “Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.”
DJ: “What time?”
Sarah: “Around 8 this morning.”
DJ: “Very good. Next question. How long did it last?”
Sarah: “12, 15 minutes maybe.”
DJ: “Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We’ve got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?”
Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Where did you have it?”
Sarah: “OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn’t tell them that did you?”
Brian: “Just tell him, honey.”
DJ: “What is bothering you so much, Sarah?”
Sarah: “Well…”
DJ: Come on Sarah…..where did you have it?
Sarah: “Up the a$$…”
After a long pause, the DJ said, “Folks, we need to take a station break”
And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!
What'd You Think?
(229 votes, average: 4.53 out of 5)
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August 29th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
i couldnt read it, it was to long
August 30th, 2007 at 8:16 am
lol..
August 30th, 2007 at 9:25 am
hahaha that was sooo funny … abit too long tho thanks 4 the laff
September 2nd, 2007 at 10:53 pm
THIS ONE IS HILARIOUS! I’M AT WORK WHEN I READ IT, TRYING TO FIGHT BOREDOM, SO THE LENGTH OF THE JOKE WASN’T AN ISSUE. BESIDES THE LONGER THE BETTER. HE HE. ANYWAYS I HAD TO STIFFEL MY LAUGHTER. SO DID THEY WIN THE TRIP?
September 3rd, 2007 at 11:55 am
OMG….THIS WAS SO HILARIOUS
September 7th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
made me laugh ma head off!!! gd1!!!
September 9th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
omg that as f@#$%*! funny
September 9th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
LMFAOO!! THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST JOKE IVE READ ON THIS WEBSITE SO FAR..
September 10th, 2007 at 2:16 am
the best 1 i ever read
September 12th, 2007 at 1:24 am
LMFAO….., it’s damn funny joke i ever read…; Well, is it a real happening in sydney?
September 17th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
OK. I’m a bit speechless right now. That was…overwhelming and completely unexpected, but it was pretty effing awesome.
September 24th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
hahhahahahahahahahah! that was so funny! yup nuffin to be embarassd bout, jus few hundred viewers readin in(!) hhahahaha i wonder wat the mother-in-laws shock was???
October 3rd, 2007 at 7:31 am
great stuff, anyone know where ther might be a copy of the audio instead of the text..
October 5th, 2007 at 8:09 am
that was the funniest thing eva!!
October 5th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
oh wow! that was hillariouse. thats been the funniest joke i’ve read on this website
October 9th, 2007 at 11:51 pm
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!DAMN THATS HILLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!11
October 15th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
oh wow. that’s hilarious. i fell bad for them.
October 18th, 2007 at 11:30 am
funny very funny
October 20th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
omg!!! dat was awesum!
November 18th, 2007 at 1:13 am
lmfao, that is a good one, i will laugh about it for a few days
November 19th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
how do u get an audio for this?
November 19th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
i really dont think that was very funny
but ok
November 20th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
the fact that it really happened made the joke even better!
January 19th, 2008 at 5:38 am
LMAO! This is the funniest joke on the website i’ve read
laughing so hard now! hahahahaa
February 11th, 2008 at 3:10 am
I really would like to know if the did win the prize to gold coast…
Hope they gonna enjoy in gold coast as well… up the @$$ again huh? hahaha
March 6th, 2008 at 10:19 am
This is so gud and I really enjoyed
March 6th, 2008 at 10:22 am
The joke was good and marvellous!!!!!!!1
March 7th, 2008 at 7:28 am
Oh God I can’t stop laughing! ROFLMAO
March 10th, 2008 at 2:30 am
THIS IS SERIOUSLY FUNNY! One of the BEST i’ve heard so far! HAHAHAH~~!!!! I can only imagine everyone laughing their asses off!
-peace out-
March 10th, 2008 at 4:48 am
ROFL….
:D 
Holy crap…. This is priceless…….
March 13th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE READ ON THIS SITE! BY FAR THE FUNNIEST AND TO THINK THAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. BIG SHOUT OUT TO SARAH, MAY THAT A$$ NEVER LIE!!
March 15th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
It is Good! I really enjoy it alot.
March 18th, 2008 at 7:17 am
THATS A GOOD ONE FUNNY I MUST SAY…..
March 19th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
got told about this joke mid 1990’s and according to the fella who told me it came from a Sydney radio staion so it may well be true. I was wicket-keeping in a cricket game at the time and laughed so hard I missed the next ball and it went for 4 runs…
March 20th, 2008 at 2:55 am
I really like this one
March 23rd, 2008 at 10:30 am
i thinkn it was boring
July 17th, 2008 at 8:43 am
blew my head off man, seriuosly. Good one
August 8th, 2008 at 10:06 am
it was awesome.it realy cracked me
August 20th, 2008 at 3:08 am
Hahaha! Seriously funny!
August 21st, 2008 at 3:33 am
that was f***ing funny XD
October 6th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Thats more like it!!! Its just wow, did they win?