Mate Match


Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks did hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called “Mate Match“.

The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers “yes”, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with phone number for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you’ve heard yet. Anyway, here’s how it all went down:

DJ: “Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of ‘Mate Match’?”

Contestant: (laughing) “Yes, I have.”

DJ: “Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.”

Contestant: “Brian.”

DJ: “Brian, are you married or what?”

Brian: (laughing nervously) “Yes, I am married.”

DJ: “Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.”

Brian: “Sara.”

DJ: “Is Sara at work, Brian?”

Brian: “She is gonna kill me.”

DJ: “Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?”

Brian: (laughing) “Yes, she’s at work.”

DJ: “Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?”

Brian: “About 8 o’clock this morning.”

DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) “Well…”

DJ: “Question #2 - How long did it last?”

Brian: “About 10 minutes.”

DJ: “Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn’t at stake.”

Brian: “Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.”

DJ: “Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clock
this morning?

Brian: (laughing hard) “I, ummm, I, well…”

DJ: “This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?”

Brian: “Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks…”

DJ: “Uh huh…”

Brian: “…and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.”

DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”

Brian: “On the kitchen table.”

DJ: “Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I’ve done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife’s work number and call her up. You listen to this.”

[3 minutes of commercials follow.]

DJ: “Okay audience; let’s call Sarah, shall we?” (Touch tones…..ringing….)

Clerk: “Kinkos.”

DJ: “Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?”

Clerk: “This is she.”

DJ: “Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.”

Sarah: (laughing) “A couple of hours?”

DJ: “Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you’ll lose. Sooooooo… do you know the rules of ‘Mate Match’?”

Sarah: “No.”

DJ: “Good!”

Brian: (laughing)

Sarah: (laughing) “Brian, what the hell are you up to?”

Brian: (laughing) “Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.”

DJ: “Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.”

Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”

DJ: “Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?”

Sarah: “Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.”

DJ: “What time?”

Sarah: “Around 8 this morning.”

DJ: “Very good. Next question. How long did it last?”

Sarah: “12, 15 minutes maybe.”

DJ: “Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We’ve got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?”

Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”

DJ: “Where did you have it?”

Sarah: “OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn’t tell them that did you?”

Brian: “Just tell him, honey.”

DJ: “What is bothering you so much, Sarah?”

Sarah: “Well…”

DJ: Come on Sarah…..where did you have it?

Sarah: “Up the a$$…”

After a long pause, the DJ said, “Folks, we need to take a station break”

And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!

What'd You Think?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (229 votes, average: 4.53 out of 5)
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41 Responses to “Mate Match”

  1. Pinkey Says:

    i couldnt read it, it was to long

  2. Ferdi Says:

    lol..

  3. amy Says:

    hahaha that was sooo funny … abit too long tho thanks 4 the laff

  4. RONDA Says:

    THIS ONE IS HILARIOUS! I’M AT WORK WHEN I READ IT, TRYING TO FIGHT BOREDOM, SO THE LENGTH OF THE JOKE WASN’T AN ISSUE. BESIDES THE LONGER THE BETTER. HE HE. ANYWAYS I HAD TO STIFFEL MY LAUGHTER. SO DID THEY WIN THE TRIP?

  5. Lady_Princess Says:

    OMG….THIS WAS SO HILARIOUS

  6. A_sleeping_gangsta Says:

    made me laugh ma head off!!! gd1!!!

  7. hailie Says:

    omg that as f@#$%*! funny

  8. vanessa Says:

    LMFAOO!! THIS WAS THE FUNNIEST JOKE IVE READ ON THIS WEBSITE SO FAR..

  9. Hadi Says:

    the best 1 i ever read

  10. Pheakie Says:

    LMFAO….., it’s damn funny joke i ever read…; Well, is it a real happening in sydney?

  11. CaSsIe Says:

    OK. I’m a bit speechless right now. That was…overwhelming and completely unexpected, but it was pretty effing awesome.

  12. RoRo Says:

    hahhahahahahahahahah! that was so funny! yup nuffin to be embarassd bout, jus few hundred viewers readin in(!) hhahahaha i wonder wat the mother-in-laws shock was??? :D

  13. jimbo Says:

    great stuff, anyone know where ther might be a copy of the audio instead of the text..

  14. Felicity Says:

    that was the funniest thing eva!!

  15. yessi Says:

    oh wow! that was hillariouse. thats been the funniest joke i’ve read on this website

  16. Pinkey Says:

    HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!DAMN THATS HILLARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!11

  17. Sally Says:

    oh wow. that’s hilarious. i fell bad for them. :)

  18. lil chunty Says:

    funny very funny

  19. Jason Says:

    omg!!! dat was awesum!

  20. Justin Says:

    lmfao, that is a good one, i will laugh about it for a few days

  21. georgio Says:

    how do u get an audio for this?

  22. Miranda Says:

    i really dont think that was very funny
    but ok

  23. ivona Says:

    the fact that it really happened made the joke even better!

  24. kbp Says:

    LMAO! This is the funniest joke on the website i’ve read
    laughing so hard now! hahahahaa

  25. kinzo Says:

    I really would like to know if the did win the prize to gold coast…
    Hope they gonna enjoy in gold coast as well… up the @$$ again huh? hahaha

  26. Tinashe Says:

    This is so gud and I really enjoyed

  27. Gerthrude Says:

    The joke was good and marvellous!!!!!!!1

  28. TRmaniac Says:

    Oh God I can’t stop laughing! ROFLMAO

  29. Amy Says:

    THIS IS SERIOUSLY FUNNY! One of the BEST i’ve heard so far! HAHAHAH~~!!!! I can only imagine everyone laughing their asses off!

    -peace out-

  30. Dee Says:

    ROFL…. :D :D :D Holy crap…. This is priceless…….

  31. Blackbuddy Says:

    THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE READ ON THIS SITE! BY FAR THE FUNNIEST AND TO THINK THAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. BIG SHOUT OUT TO SARAH, MAY THAT A$$ NEVER LIE!!

  32. gagandeep Says:

    It is Good! I really enjoy it alot.

  33. CINDY Says:

    THATS A GOOD ONE FUNNY I MUST SAY…..

  34. Rojik Says:

    got told about this joke mid 1990’s and according to the fella who told me it came from a Sydney radio staion so it may well be true. I was wicket-keeping in a cricket game at the time and laughed so hard I missed the next ball and it went for 4 runs…

  35. Sher Says:

    I really like this one

  36. mappy Says:

    i thinkn it was boring

  37. artaz Says:

    blew my head off man, seriuosly. Good one

  38. mpho Says:

    it was awesome.it realy cracked me

  39. Kelcé Says:

    Hahaha! Seriously funny!

  40. joseph Says:

    that was f***ing funny XD

  41. Tonniez Says:

    Thats more like it!!! Its just wow, did they win?

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