Married Life - Going To The Bar
A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back.” Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.
“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I’m going to have a beer.” The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses… ”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”
“You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie h?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.
“But my sweet honey…at the bar….you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”
“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?…”LISTEN UP D*CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F*CKIN’ HORS D’OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A F*CKIN’ BAR! THAT SH*IT IS OVER… GOT IT, AS*HOLE?”
…and they lived happily ever after.
What'd You Think?
(166 votes, average: 4.04 out of 5)
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September 26th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
that was on point! i laughed so hard, i almost pist my pants. good story line =)
September 26th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
I think that this joke is great.
September 26th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
I dont like that joke its just tooo longgg
September 27th, 2007 at 12:54 am
That was sooo funny its probably the best one in here . . . .
September 27th, 2007 at 6:04 am
That man has got himself a good wife from hell
September 27th, 2007 at 8:25 am
They poor bloke must be married to my wife
September 27th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
that explains why my girlfriend won’t let me go
September 28th, 2007 at 1:01 am
well, didn’t sweet hubby asked, where f*cking you learn this language?
September 28th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
OMG THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST JOKE THAT I HAVE EVER READ.
I SHOWED IT TO MY BEST FRIEND AND SHE WAS LAUGHING AS
HARD AS I WAS. I HOPE THERE ARE OTHER JOKES AS FUNNY OR
FUNNIER THAN THAT. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. LOL.
September 28th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
cant wait til I am married!!!
September 28th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
LOL. I LOVE IT!!!
October 1st, 2007 at 5:09 am
It is situations like this that requires the police to hand the ice bag to the wife. Stay single
October 1st, 2007 at 12:11 pm
Amazin…
made my mood lite..
October 1st, 2007 at 1:16 pm
THIS WAS INCREDIBLY FUNNY…I EMAILED SOME TO MY CO WORKERS…HILARIOUS!
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:11 am
This was funny. Oh why when people get old and start working they email jokes to co-workers? Oh and I am talking about 40 to 50 year olds
October 4th, 2007 at 12:54 am
this is a lovely one the best part is the dirty words used by the wife amazing
October 5th, 2007 at 12:52 am
“and they lived happily ever after” ….PRICELESS!
October 5th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
wag1 ppl all da sikh ppl add me on msn plz… da_punjabi_sikh_soulja@hotmail.com
fanxx
n memba sikhs
SIKHS 4 LYFF…..
xxxxxxxxxxxxmwahxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ma nme is gagandeep btw….
aka gagan
October 5th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
dis joke is SIKKOOO mann….
i luv itt…
hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……………
BRUAAAAAAAAA….
i bet a SIKH MADE DIS JOKE UP…
hahahaha
brappp brappp…
OUR SIKH PRIDE
October 8th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
that wasn’t very funny….
October 13th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
i agree with matt… it was kinda really retarted. and the annoying pet names seriously got on my nerves. not funny.
October 24th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
it wasnt that funny
November 9th, 2007 at 9:22 am
I thought this was so Funny.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:19 pm
it wasn’t to long youre just impatient
November 15th, 2007 at 9:24 am
What do you do when, as the women, you want to go to the bar and your bf wants to stay home and make dinner and watch movies with you coz he’d really rather spend time with you - i know someones gagging
November 27th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Nice!!! HAHAHA!
November 29th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
That was stupid, wasn’t even a joke…and it said she took FIVE dishes of hors d’oeuvres out of the oven and you only named 4…can’t even get your own joke rite.
March 13th, 2008 at 9:13 am
5 OUT OF 5
March 20th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
that joke waz hell of funny.
March 25th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
back in the day when indians lived in teepees and did the sign langauge and the indians got into a straight line and the priest came up to the first indian and did the holy cross and kept doing it down the line and at the end of the line he came up to a medicine man and did the holy cross the priest turned around and left the natives looking at each other and the medicine man said the priest wants us to take our stuff down and leave……….
March 25th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
how does a priest make holy water??????????? he boils the hell out of it……….
March 28th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
it waz aaaaight