Married Life – Going To The Bar
A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses... "
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie h?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.
"But my sweet honey...at the bar....you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?..."LISTEN UP D*CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR DAMN BEER IN YOUR DAMN FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR F*CKIN' HORS D'OEUVRES. BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A F*CKIN' BAR! THAT SH*IT IS OVER... GOT IT, AS*HOLE?"
...and they lived happily ever after.
What'd You Think?
(340 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
Loading ...
that was on point! i laughed so hard, i almost pist my pants. good story line =)
I think that this joke is great.
I dont like that joke its just tooo longgg
That was sooo funny its probably the best one in here . . . .
That man has got himself a good wife from hell
They poor bloke must be married to my wife
that explains why my girlfriend won’t let me go
well, didn’t sweet hubby asked, where f*cking you learn this language?
OMG THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST JOKE THAT I HAVE EVER READ.
I SHOWED IT TO MY BEST FRIEND AND SHE WAS LAUGHING AS
HARD AS I WAS. I HOPE THERE ARE OTHER JOKES AS FUNNY OR
FUNNIER THAN THAT. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. LOL.
cant wait til I am married!!!
LOL. I LOVE IT!!!
It is situations like this that requires the police to hand the ice bag to the wife. Stay single
Amazin…
made my mood lite..
THIS WAS INCREDIBLY FUNNY…I EMAILED SOME TO MY CO WORKERS…HILARIOUS!
This was funny. Oh why when people get old and start working they email jokes to co-workers? Oh and I am talking about 40 to 50 year olds
this is a lovely one the best part is the dirty words used by the wife amazing
“and they lived happily ever after” ….PRICELESS!
wag1 ppl all da sikh ppl add me on msn plz… da_punjabi_sikh_soulja@hotmail.com
fanxx
n memba sikhs
SIKHS 4 LYFF…..
xxxxxxxxxxxxmwahxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ma nme is gagandeep btw….
aka gagan
dis joke is SIKKOOO mann….
i luv itt…
hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……………
BRUAAAAAAAAA….
i bet a SIKH MADE DIS JOKE UP…
hahahaha
brappp brappp…
OUR SIKH PRIDE
that wasn’t very funny….
i agree with matt… it was kinda really retarted. and the annoying pet names seriously got on my nerves. not funny.
it wasnt that funny
I thought this was so Funny.
it wasn’t to long youre just impatient
What do you do when, as the women, you want to go to the bar and your bf wants to stay home and make dinner and watch movies with you coz he’d really rather spend time with you – i know someones gagging
Nice!!! HAHAHA!
That was stupid, wasn’t even a joke…and it said she took FIVE dishes of hors d’oeuvres out of the oven and you only named 4…can’t even get your own joke rite.
5 OUT OF 5
that joke waz hell of funny.
back in the day when indians lived in teepees and did the sign langauge and the indians got into a straight line and the priest came up to the first indian and did the holy cross and kept doing it down the line and at the end of the line he came up to a medicine man and did the holy cross the priest turned around and left the natives looking at each other and the medicine man said the priest wants us to take our stuff down and leave……….
how does a priest make holy water??????????? he boils the hell out of it……….
it waz aaaaight
yeah thats probly the funniest one ive read all day on this gay ass website
this joke was great- that woman sounds like me. joel pierce, ur a genius. pete zahut, if you think this is a gay ass website you can kiss my straight ass, cuz it’s awesome.
I would say OK its either sex or bar, either way im gonna be drinkin some beer
gay is not a synonym for stupid
That bordered between funny and hurtfull
datz y u stay single, hit it & quit it
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lmao ahahaahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA