Male / Female Translator
WOMEN’S ENGLISH
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to do that
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic and turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I want something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something terrible today
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
MEN’S ENGLISH
I’m hungry = I’m hungry
I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy
I’m tired = I’m tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice tits!
You look tense = I want to fondle you
What’s wrong? = What self-inflicted psychological trauma is it this time?
What’s wrong? = I’m guessing sex is out of the question
I’m bored = Would you like to fuck?
I love you = I’d like to fuck right now
I love you, too = I really want to fuck
Let’s talk = I’d like to show you my emotional depth as a prelude to sex
Will you marry me? = I really enjoy having sex with you
What'd You Think?
(109 votes, average: 4.45 out of 5)
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October 8th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Parts of women is really true! Especially when i do smthng wrong then i will ask do his really love me,n about asking one stuff means included else stuffs too. I LOV TO BORN AS A GIRL!
October 8th, 2008 at 9:56 am
nice
October 8th, 2008 at 1:18 am
Not all men think about sex every five seconds. Believe it or not, some men aren’t perverts. I think about books, video games, etc. more than perverted things. Of course I am part of what you would call a minority. This list is still funny though.
April 8th, 2008 at 5:18 am
omg….very true… this is what actually feels
March 21st, 2008 at 4:13 pm
this is so offensive. i cant believe you think it’s funny. not all women are like that. just like not all men are like that. this is stereotypical, not to mention a waste of my time.
walmart has a sale on lives. you should go and get one.
March 20th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
sounded weird to me
March 4th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
Omg…. I must be a man!!
March 2nd, 2008 at 8:48 am
This is so true… hehee
February 7th, 2008 at 10:20 am
ha ha ha!
November 20th, 2007 at 6:51 am
itz just gr8.
November 11th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
100% correct:D
November 9th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
i need a pocket size so i can understand my gf n’ my bf
November 8th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
LOL - yep no doubt this happens in every relationship. spot on!
November 7th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
hahaha pretty good, though I think the “nice dress” compliment really means “nice dress” o.O
October 27th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
HOW ON EARTH DID THEY MANAGE TO READ MY MIND????
LOL :p
October 5th, 2007 at 10:10 am
HAHAHAHAHAHA That s so TRUE!!!
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:12 am
… … … LOL LOL LOL … … … LOL … … … TOO FUNNY!!!
September 28th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
hahahahahahahaha, DAMN thats funny
September 26th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
hahahahahhaha! its sooooooooooo tru! men-Wat idiots!
September 26th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
you got this so right!
September 26th, 2007 at 7:09 am
hey its true…….
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:56 am
Sex and Money are most needed basic nessesties.That is exactly how they are worked out.
September 21st, 2007 at 5:33 pm
lol…this is so funny…i love it…and its basically true
September 17th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
What we think about in between is sports/food/dirty stuff (trying not to be specific)
August 31st, 2007 at 11:28 am
Men thinks about sex every five minutes. What does he think about in between? Nothing. (Jay Leno)
August 22nd, 2007 at 11:04 pm
Man’s best friend right here, can I get the pocket version please?
August 11th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
now i know why curtins weren’t enough! lol great job!
August 7th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
wow where did all this come from!!?? Whereever it came from it was extremely funny.
August 7th, 2007 at 2:20 am
honey i want to go on a movie
hahahaha
July 31st, 2007 at 8:41 pm
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH…………. THIS IS SO TRUE.