Little Johnny Wants Some Ice Cream
Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. She says, “Put that away Johnny! You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”
Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.” Trying to placate him, she says, “OK, I’ll play with you. What do you want to play?” He says, “I wanna play Mommie and Daddy.”
Trying not to register surprise, and to further appease him, she says, “Fine, I’ll play. What do I do?” Johnny says, “You go up to the bedroom and lie down.” Figuring that she can easily control the situation, she goes upstairs.
Johnny, feeling a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his father’s old fishing hat. As he starts up the stairs he notices a cigarette butt in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth. At the top of the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway.
His mother raises up and says, “What do I do now?” In a gruff manner, Johnny says, “Get your butt downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!”
What'd You Think?
(386 votes, average: 3.02 out of 5)
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January 10th, 2008 at 8:31 am
hahahahahahahaha
January 11th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
bleh…
January 11th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
lol
January 11th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
dumb perverted lady haha
January 15th, 2008 at 11:04 am
thats gay
January 15th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
He forgot his beer.
January 15th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
lol i thought it was gonna be a dirty joke
January 16th, 2008 at 6:13 am
me too.
phew!
January 16th, 2008 at 6:57 am
I’m gonna feauture it in ma magazine
January 16th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
nice one johnny boy!!
January 17th, 2008 at 7:13 am
I thought it was gonna be dirty ooops! perfect one
January 28th, 2008 at 11:07 am
the kid really says “get your lazy ass out of bed, you whore, and make that kid some f**king ice cream!” xD
January 29th, 2008 at 5:16 am
annony
January 31st, 2008 at 12:56 pm
infact, you are just too, keep it up.
February 2nd, 2008 at 7:12 am
LOL..One always thinks these jokes will be dirty… Nice ending!
February 7th, 2008 at 5:19 am
Scared at first of the ending….sharp johnny!!!!
February 10th, 2008 at 4:03 am
Oh my goodness!!!! That was frigging funny!!!
February 10th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
A teacher asks her class, ?If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left??
She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ?None, they all fly away with the first gun shot?
The teacher replies ?The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.?
Then Little Johnny says ?I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married??
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ?Well I suppose the one that?s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone?
To which Little Johnny replied, ?The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.?
THis is another Little Johnny joke
February 15th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Omg soo weird… but funny and very entertainiing to read
February 15th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Kk what do applez white people have in commom??
They both look good hanging from a tree.!!!! lol
(The original joke was worse) ( white was replaced from black)
February 15th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
That was pretty funny!!
February 19th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
what da f**k not funny
March 5th, 2008 at 9:09 am
hahahahahahahahahahhahaha
March 14th, 2008 at 10:21 am
I like the johnny ice cream joke and the hanging from a tree joke
April 11th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
I like Sarah’s joke