Letter From A Farm Kid
(Now at Camp Pendleton, San Diego, Marine Corps Recruit Training)
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are too. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer that the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay… practically nothing. Men got to shave but it’s not so bad… there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you ’til noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.
We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.
The country is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.
Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5′6″ and 130 pounds and he’s 6′8″ and near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join up before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding on in.
Your loving daughter,
Alice
What'd You Think?
(31 votes, average: 4.23 out of 5)
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August 6th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
I think it is trying to be an insult to the US Army, and that is sad. Sounds like an idiot joke to me.
August 6th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
The Marine Corps actually, and it’s not meant to put down the Marines per se - more specifically the “city folk”. And, not even that really, more so just saying how tough country folk are.
August 6th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
I THINK IT IT HAS SOMETHING TO INSULT US USA.
REMEMBER IF YOU ARE A FARMER GIRL WHO IS WHITE
YOU HAD BLCK PEOPLE AS SLAVE AND THAT IS JUST SAD.
TO THINK OF IT WHEN THE WORLD ENDS WE START A NEW ONE
AND WHO KNOWS GOD MIGHT MAKE YOU BORN IN THE PILGRIM
TIME OR SLAVE TIME OR CILVIL WAR.
SO I THINK THIS SHOULD BE DELEATED.
AND I PRAY FOR WHOEVER MADE THIS JOKE
AND POST IT I PRAY YOU LIVE IN THE 2000
AND I SAY YOU BETTER GO TO CHURCH AND START PRAYIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
August 7th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
i think this joke is the worst joke i have ever read
August 7th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
I think this joke is pretty good, i don’t understand why it would offend anyone really.
August 8th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
i think this joke is really good i have no idea why it offends so much people.
whoever made this joke, i think u did a good job..
August 8th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
omgoodness!!! this is so funny. i am a farm girl myself, so i get it. I thought it was okay until the end when i found out it was a girl…well, that was the point where i burst out laughing…and to the people who think it is offensive to the USA. well, maybe you guys need to be insulted a bit…lighten up, will you?? seriously.
August 9th, 2007 at 11:00 am
I think that this is a very good joke and if it insults anyone I think that you should be honest enough to admit that the truth hurts. I have lived both lives and this is the facts of life.!!!!!!
August 9th, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Melody, were you a boy and a girl?
August 14th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
my friend just left for the marines and i thought the joke was pretty funny, it wasnt meant to be an insult to anyone it wasnt putting the marines down, everyones just reading to into it
August 14th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
If you think this was geared to offend any part of the military, you need to check your ignorant status, and check into a physc facility. Its a joke, nothing more, and nothing less. like a good fat, skinny, gay, redneck joke. IT’S JUST A JOKE!!! YOU SHOULD NEVER READ ANOTHER JOKE IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!! PLEASE STOP READING NOW!!! GO HOME, AND TAKE A NAP!!! YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
August 22nd, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Anyone insulted by this joke is much to thin skinned and looking for some “politicallly incorect” story to gripe about. Grow Up! Lugh a little. It’s ok to laugh..
August 29th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
why is this joke so offensive, its just like blonde jokes. its good to laugh at yourself and others(as long as its not serious}
September 8th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
why cant anyone just take it as it is…it is just a damn redneck joke, no sense in getting all political and shit…I am a white girl raised in the back woods myself, and I find it rather funny…cause to be honest with you the things she talks about in the letter is true……..
September 14th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Marines… Pffffft. Branch of the Navy, not the Military
September 14th, 2007 at 10:24 pm
I think this joke is really funny, and i really don’t get why some people are offended by it! I thought it was halarious, because those bulls-eyes on those targets are really easy to hit lol it aint like they r movin…gah..lol
September 24th, 2007 at 10:27 am
im a country girl myself so this is pretty hilarious! people seriously need to lighten up! The point is that a country girl kicked a city guys ass! Which i think is pretty damn funny! so please learn to laugh!!!!!! for the entire worlds sake!
September 25th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
hahahahahaha! if only i was strong as her!
October 1st, 2007 at 11:46 am
you people suck at taking a joke it is called funny and JOKES . COM SO LIGHTEN UP YOU bunch OF whiners one joke and you cry either racism or mean just shut up
October 2nd, 2007 at 4:02 pm
This was hilarious. Those of you who are taking this as an affront to the military or to the country really need to lighten up. Relax. Reread the joke and this time try to keep an open mind. Somehow I get the feeling that the people offended are ones who tell really bad blond, black, hispanic, redneck, and gay jokes and that they are the only ones who laugh at them. Just a hunch. Anyway, great joke, especially the part about the target practice. LOL
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:44 pm
get a life will ya? it is a funny JOKE, not a racist or bigoted attack against anyone. besides, us country folk can kick ass.
October 6th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
mannnn Americans r so so so so dumb no really they r…. God they annoy me
October 15th, 2007 at 7:00 pm
dah dah dah dah you peeople have problems many of them this joke is dumb but you don’t have to have a baby over it ….. jease make up your own jokes whoever gets them off here LAME.. so listen up a country girl could never beat me up… they would probably brake their nuckles on my chest..
October 15th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
and as I said before but this dumb fillter system screwed with you all are acting like you are on pills with a passion… you all are about as smart as a jap, srry amy the truth had to be told.. so get yo dankasslumpynuts off of the frickencomputer… chubbies I am funny without the internet why can’t you just make fun of yourselves it would make this wall funnier instead of having your weak little insults posted all over this frikinthing..
November 28th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Grow up. It’s a joke you morons.
January 17th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
ROFLMAO !!
it was a girl all along !
i sure didnt see that coming XD
February 14th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
This joke is great! All of you who do not like this joke or think it is offensive to the Marines do not really love America. This joke is a testament to how tough and resilient the America people truly are. Everybody knows how tough the Marines are, for a little old common country girl to say it is easier then country life shows average common Americas are harder then one would think. Also city boys are democrats and country folks are republicans. Everybody knows republicans are tougher then democrats!
March 15th, 2008 at 10:12 am
SERIOUSLY, IF YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT A HARMLESS JOKE LIKE THIS I WOULD HATE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE! IT’S A FUNNY JOKE, IT DOESN’T MAKE FUN OF ANYTHING, IT’S JUST PLAYING ON STEREO TYPES. I LOVED IT, AND I AM REPOSTING IT!