Kids Jokes
We really should do more of these, while some of our jokes are meant for a more "adult" crowd (still safe for work and not vulgar or anything) - we'd like to post some jokes catered more towards are younger readers. Specifically, short and simple jokes that kids can remember and tell their friends for [...]
(145 votes, average: 3.31 out of 5)
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What'd You Think?
(145 votes, average: 3.31 out of 5) Loading ...
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
what’s red and smells like blue paint?? RED PAINT!
why do sea gulls live by the sea?? CUZ IF THEY LIVED BY THE BAY, THEY’D BE CALLED BAY GULLS!
what did the picture say to the wall?? “I’VE BEEN FRAMED!!!”
what did the ocean say to the beach?? NOTHING–IT JUST WAVED!!
LOL o.0
What did the coffee say to the police officer: Iv been muged
hey, what do you call a fly that has no wings???
A walk =]
What do you call a dead parrot? a POLYGON (polly-gone) get it!
What is the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup!
why didnt the skeleton go the party ??
because it has no body to go with
hahahahahahahahahhhahhhhahhahaahaahahaha
y r u gay
coz ur gay
hahahhahahhahaha
NO JOKE!!!
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rock it
A lady cALLS The doctor and says…
Lady-My baby just swallowed my pencil
Doctor-Ok I am on my way
Lady-Well what shoul i do till you get here
Doctor-Use a pen
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
what do you call fallen coffee on the ground?
ground coffee!!!
why is it dangerous to tell jokes in the ice?
the ice might CRACK up!!!
What is a ninja’s favorite drink?
WATAH!!
hahahaha u guys were funny… w
a man walked into a bar!
OUCH!!!
ha ha ha
get it?
What did the wall say to the other wall? See you at the corner!
What did the sharpener say to the pencil? See you around
HOW DID THE TREE GO ON THE COMPUTER?
IT LOGGED ON
(LAFFY TAFFY JOKE)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HOW DID THE TREE GO ON THE COMPUTER?
IT LOGGED ON
Whats a dogs favorite pizza?
Puparoni! jajajajagagagaagaaahgagagaga
What do you call a man who forgets to put his underpants on ?
Nicholas !
What do you call a man with a tree growing out of his head ?
Ed-Wood !
What do you call a woman with a sheep on her head ?
Baa-Baa-Ra !
What do you call a man who wears tissue paper trousers ?
Russell !
What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head ?
Sister Matic !
Why did the man with a pony tail go to see his doctor ?
He was a little hoarse !
What do you call a witch flying through the skies ?
Broom Hilda !
How did the Prime Minister get to know the secret ?
Someone Blairted it out !
What did the idiot call his pet zebra ?
Spot !
What do you call a fish on the dining table ?
A Plaice Mat !
What do you call a scared biscuit ?
A cowardy custard cream !
What do you call a man whose father was a Canon ?
A son of a gun !
What do you call a man with two left feet ?
Whatever you like – if he tries to catch you he’ll just run round in circles !
What do you call a weekly television programme about people getting washed ?
A soap opera !
What do you call a flock of birds who fly in formation ?
The red sparrows !
What do you call a bee that is always complaining ?
A grumble bee !
What would you call a friend who had an elephant on his head ?
A flatmate !
What do you call a posh pig delivering newspapers ?
Bacon rind !
What do you call a teacher who makes fireworks ?
A head banger !
What do you call a man that drills holes in teapots ?
A potholer !
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a space ship ?
Apollo neck woolly jumpers !
What do you get if you cross a pig with a naked person ?
Streaky bacon !
What do you get if you cross a box of matches and a giant ?
The big match !
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a skyscraper ?
A high jumper!
What do you get if you cross a road with a safari park ?
Double yellow lions !
What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman ?
A brush with the law !
What do you get if you cross an overweight golfer and a pair of very tight trousers ?
A hole in one !
What do you get if you cross a plumber with a field of cow pats ?
The poohed piper !
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a bottle of whisky ?
Trunk and disorderly !
What do you get if you cross a flock of sheep and a radiator ?
Central bleating !
How did the telephones get married ?
In a double ring ceremony !
Why did the child study in the aeroplane ?
He wanted a higher education !
Why was the broom late ?
It over swept !
Do you know the time ?
No, we haven’t met yet !
What kind of hair do oceans have ?
Wavy !
What runs but never walks ?
Water !
How do you make milk shake ?
Give it a good scare !
Whats red and flies and wobbles at the same time ?
A jelly copter !
Waiter, this soup tastes funny ?
Then why aren’t you laughing !
Why did the clock get sick ?
It was run down !
Why did the hen cross the road ?
To prove she wasn’t chicken !
What do you call a man with a tree growing out of his head ?
Ed-ward !
How do you stop a head cold going to your chest ?
Easy – tie a knot in your neck !
Why shouldn’t you try to swim on a full stomach ?
Because it’s easier to swim on a full swimming pool !
What creature sticks to the bottom of sheep ships ?
Baaa-nacles !
How do you know if your little brother is turning into a fridge ?
See if a little light come on whenever he opens his mouth !
What is the coldest part of the North Pole ?
An explorer’s noes !
What do computer operators eat for lunch ?
Chips !
Why is that man standing in the sink ?
He’s a tap dancer !
Where do rabbits learn to fly ?
In the Hare Force !
oioiio;loo
Where do politicians go to check out books?
A lie-brary. (Library)
There was a black guy running in the desert until he found a magic lamp…
The genius appear and told him: ask me 3 desires, but get hurry because i need to leave.
The black guy answered quickly and says: well,
1. I want a big mansion with 100 rooms
2. I Want 100 nude and sexy girls with her legs wide open in each room
3. I wanna be white and be on the middle of all the ladies in there….
And the genious transformed him in KOTEX!
What do you call a snail on a ship?
.. a snailor!
I don’t like them!!!!!! They’re so lame
i thought these were KID jokes, dude, Ponce, that joke is sooooooo inappropiate!!!!!!! >.<
Ich habe keine Hausaufgaben! Das ist sehr gut! Meine Gute!
two olvies were sdancin on a table when one accidently falls over so the other olive runs to the edge and yells down “are you ok down there” and the second yells back “o live”( I’ll live) lolz
Thea
Q: What’s the difference between a fly and a bird?
A: A Bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.
Nice jokes!
My joke:
How do you keep an idiot waiting?
I’ll tell you tommorow.
The kids won’t laugh but you sure will! =D
what do you call a ghost that crosses a chicken?
Poultry-Geist.
Little cheesy but I got a few smiles
and just wondering Colonel Kookie, what does having no homework have to do with this? Is that supposed to be your joke?
If you want know more funny jokes,you should visited our website:http://www.funnyjokesgo.com
There was a kid whose parrot died. A scientist met him and asked him what happened. The kid said “Polly no meal, Polly gone.” The scientist thought he said “Polynomial Polygon.”
Haha funny!!
WHAT DOES EVERYONE DO AT THE SAME TIME?
age!
WHAT HAS A MOUTH BUT DOESNT EAT, A BANK BUT NO MONEY, RUNS BUT HAS NO FEET, AND HAS A BED BUT DOESNT SLEEP?
a river!
A WOMAN AND A MAN HAD BEEN MARRIED FOR FIFTY TWO YEARS. EVERY SINGLE MORNING OF EVERY DAY WHEN THE HUSBAND WOKE UP HE WOULD LET OUT A HUGE FART THAT SHOOK THE WHOLE HOUSE. THW WOMAN WOULD ALWAYS SAY THAT HE WAS GOING TO FART HIS GUTS OUT ONE DAY. ONE NIGHT SHE DECIDED TO TEACH HIM A LESSON. SHE TOOK TURKEY ENTRAILS AND LAID THEM IN THE BED BETWEEN HIS LEGS. IN THE MORNING SHE WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR A CUP OF COFFEE. A FEW MINUTES LATER SHE HEARD THE ENORMOUS RELEASE OF GAS AND THEN A SCREAM. ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER HE CAME DOWN AND SAID,” You were right, I did fart my guts out. But with a miracle from God and these two fingers, I managed to push them back in.”
What do you call a fish with no eye?
-Fsh
What do you get when you cross a class clown with a precious metal?
Fools Gold!!!
Where do they get sugar-free chocolate from?
Angry black guys!
What do hard games and high pitched squeals have in common?
They both drive people crazy!
Why did the student ram his car into the school?
He was taking a crash course
why did possum cross the road?
to see his flat mate.
why did little timmy take the ruler to bed?
to see how long he slept.
where do fish keep their money?
the river bank
those are so funny
kinda
im so bored can someone please chat wit me
hey
well guess wat heres a joke U ALL SUCK!!!!!