Jay Leno’s Late Nite TV Jokes

We stayed up all night (for a few nights actaully) and snagged a few of the political jokes Jay Leno has been spouting off on the Tonight Show. This guy’s a riot (or at least his writers are, heh). Bada bing!

  • It was so hot in Washington, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales got delirious and almost started telling the truth.
  • In a recent interview with People magazine, Kathy Hilton said that her daughter Paris Hilton may have gotten a rash from the sheets in her cell. Today the sheets issued a statement saying, no, they got the rash from Paris Hilton.
  • Did you see that horrible rain storm in New York City? The flooding was so bad Hillary Clinton had to switch from a pantsuit to a wetsuit.
  • Another presidential debate last night. It did not do well in the ratings. In fact, you know the two Americans John Edwards is always talking about? Neither one of them was watching last night.
  • Elizabeth Edwards is speaking out again. She says the problem with her husband’s fundraising campaign is she can’t make him black, and she can’t make him a woman. That’s the same problem with Michael Jackson’s people.
  • Another Democratic debate last night. I don’t want to say it did bad in the ratings, but it had so few viewers it was declared an NBC prime time show.
  • President Bush signed a law on Sunday that broadly expands the government’s authority to eavesdrop on our telephone calls and e-mails without a warrant. So our phone calls are being watched, our e-mails are being watched. The only thing not being watched? NBC. Why can’t we get some of that action?

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