I’m Glad I’m A Woman
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions
I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown
and I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt
my belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut
and I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch
or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind
I'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack
And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome
Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side
I'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride!
And I honestly think its a privilege for me
to have these two boobs and squat when I pee
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal
I won't tell you my wife just does not understand
stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band
or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep
then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!
Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see
you can forget all about that old penis envy
I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true
I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!
What'd You Think?
(70 votes, average: 3.29 out of 5)
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yeah, true this is stupid, why wood u be proud to sit when u piss? i enjoy standing up
this is stupid, you know womans they always want to be better than men and they think they are, on the other hand we man dont care who is better, we care about our family, we work for them , feed them and take care of them
thats becaue you are a buch lesbo.
Haha that is funny and duh women are so much better then men and you know that is true.
You know bob .. the things u say may be tru but not all men are like that.. and women arent always “almighty” and shieat THERE ARE EFF UP ppl from both sex so ppl dont be biased and shieat its just a poem based on sum facts. so MOVE ON!.
i bet a porchmonkey wrote this
Haha you men are fags. They have one of us and you all thought it was funny and not sexist which it was. So suck it up and eat some humble pie! I may be a guy but I can laugh at this joke all the same. Its just a JOKE!! Get over it.
I’m not going to side with anyone on this. But I must say that some of you people are getting very defensive about a fun joke. Come on! How many times have you been a little sexist!
Either way yes I am a women and no I don’t agree with calling men Neanderthals, okay. So stop whining and competing and just get over it.
PS: Please don’t get offended by this. It’s just my thoughts.
Lol bob said girls were not superior & he said womans! The correct plural form is women!Hello? Yeah this is kettle, pot your black.
“I’m just not that kind!”
“When I lean over you can’t see 3 inches of crack”
“I’ve got far too much pride!”
i found that these 3 lines were the most true out of the entire poem. LOL sick burn
all i got to say is that it goes both ways with the toilet seat hell we got to pick them up but you dont see us complaining
Wow people, its just a joke, get over it, and ya, im a guy.
HAHA bob your totally wrong haha women are better than men haha sure men have the penises and sperm nd all that junk but it takes a woman to carry a heavy baby in the stomach then spit it out a hole that is only the size of a walnut haha so get your priorities straight lol why say anything at all i mean you dont know anyone here and you never will
true. female are better than f*cken b*tch boys!
youre all mad!
Surely u r a woman, but without a “wo”- real lesbo
To be honest i thought it was funny sexist and a little true and some untrue not all men are all those things .Be happy with wat u got .Dont complain plz women.men take a joke and also i am a MAN