I’m Glad I’m A Man
I’m Glad I’m A Man
I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe.
I don’t live off of yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese
I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts
I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west
I don’t get wasted after only 2 beers
and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears.
I won’t spend hours deciding what to wear,
I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair
and I don’t go around checking my reflection
in everything shiny from every direction.
I don’t whine in public and make us leave early
and when you ask why get all bitter and surly.
I’m glad I’m a man, I’m so glad I could sing
I don’t have to sit around waiting for that ring.
I don’t gossip about friends or stab them in the back
I don’t carry our differences into the sack.
I’ll never go psycho and threaten to kill you
or think every guy out there’s trying to steal you.
I’m rational, reasonable, and logical too
I know what the time is and I know what to do.
And I honestly think its a privilege for me
to have these two balls and stand when I pee
I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball
It’s more fun than dealing with women after all
I won’t cry if you figure out it’s not going to work
I won’t remain bitter and call you a jerk.
Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure
I won’t assume it’s permanent by any measure.
Yes, I’m glad I’m a man, a man you see
I’m glad I’m not capable of child delivery
I don’t get all bitchy every 28 days
I’m glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise
I’m a man by chance and I’m thankful it’s true
I’m so glad I’m a man and not a woman like you!
What'd You Think?
(28 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5)
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October 3rd, 2007 at 9:59 am
It was funny and true
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:03 am
Eh, not all of it. I’m not a huge fan of ballgames unless i’m actually playing and then i’ll get bored after a while. A lot WAS true though. Didn’t laugh much
October 3rd, 2007 at 2:56 pm
that is the truest thing i have ever read. and i am thankful i am a man!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
October 3rd, 2007 at 10:53 pm
The part about higher salaries was rude.
October 4th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
No, see I think its sexist and I hate it(even though it was kinda funny)
October 5th, 2007 at 8:56 am
totally sexist! I’m glad to be a woman!!!!!!!(it was kinda funny though!)
October 5th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
that salary part was really rude…
October 7th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
i dont play sports…
nor do i like them…
October 9th, 2007 at 8:25 am
this joke wasnt that funny to me but i think that even though ots sexiest people shouldnt take it that way because its just a joke
October 9th, 2007 at 10:27 am
Aaron if u dont like sports or play sports then that must make u a woman!!!
October 9th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
i like the women one aloooot better haha…
just was alot more….mm..just better.
October 10th, 2007 at 4:57 am
not to be to rude but the chicks should read it agein after they post.
October 11th, 2007 at 2:22 am
aaron if u dont like sports your probably a nerd.
But ya, this was sexist, and i also have to admit it was funny. It sounds better if you sing it to your self as a poem though…
October 12th, 2007 at 5:29 am
crap
October 16th, 2007 at 10:31 pm
sexist yea theres a girl joke like this one to there both funny but to the opposite sex it might make u mad
October 19th, 2007 at 11:29 am
props girls are better though
November 13th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Hey Erica,
totally sexist, yes, totally true also yes !
only a woman would answer something like that. If you didnt think it was true would wouldnt respond something like that. If someone told you the sky
was green would a scream and laught at him for being crazy or just walk away and ignore it? Think about that.
November 17th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
MANHOOD woot love the joke all very true
November 18th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
john, wtf “think about that” wot a looser seriously man get a life, that message was so pathetic