If Men Wrote Advice Columns
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roomates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.
Q: My husband continuously asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interstingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. Man is a hunter and needs to prove his prowess with other man. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than spending a few days away from home (plus it's a great time to clean the house). Just look how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing for you to do when he returns home is for your and your best friend to perform oral sex on him, then cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it during your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing this up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband at all times without any strings attached. What this probably means is that you do not love your husband as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you could make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking a nice meal.
Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand your problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
What'd You Think?
(84 votes, average: 4.39 out of 5)
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im a woman but i think they r genius,e best i’ve read
*Sigh* Not all men want sex hell i’m an asexual -_-
ah… an aesexual organism is an organism that breeds with itself like a tree or bacteria.
Funny
not all men want sex……but most do!! Thank god men don’t write advice columns bc i’d have to hit sumbody!!!!!
thats stupid..who every wrote this is stupid…women arent slaves duche bag
you’re asexual? What a dope…that means you don’t have sex to reproduce. Or maybe you do and I’m’ the dope. Then wouldn’t I just look so silly. Btw…this is 2 jokes where “WolfChild” looks like a dope. Someone make a joke section about him.
Blah it is a joke get over yourself, no one said that you were a slave.
lol, that is pretty funny
lol always ending in a blow job and a nice cooked meal
hilarious
lol! It’s pretty funny! Yeah most men do want sex, but thank god sometimes they don’t want it! 2 bad it can’t be on the same day we don’t want it!
THIS JUSTS MAKES ME MAD. AND WHY THE F*** IS EVERYONE MAKING FUN OF WOLF CHILD ITS NOT HIS FRIGGIN FAULT HES AN ASEXUAL.
Number one:
Asexual has taken on a new term, meaning “unwanting of sex in general.”
Originaly, however, asexual is actually defined as being able to reproduce on one’s own.
Whoever changed the meaning is an idiot.
Now then, I’d just like to say…
…I’m very glad I don’t have to deal with my boyfriend having any of these issues. ^_^
He’s a great lover, and I’m not the best cook.
what wolfchild means is he jacks himslef off (i think)
What Wolfchild means to say is that he was born with both sexual organs, meaning that he can reproduce with himself, although still with the need to have sex. The medical term to what he is afflicted with is called a hermaphrodite, although most are born with only one set of reproductive organs, either testicles or ovaries. If wolfchild has been born with both, and a vagina and a penis, he/she is a spectacle indeed.
don’t you make fun at wolfie he his okey the way he is!
Not so funny
wolfchild is awesome, he is a monk! if he ever need a kid he just stared at a woman and the woman is pregnant! and dont u dare stare at me wolf, i’m not gay!
oral and a nice meal!
sounds like a nice night!
what if black people can’t afford it?
lol,what an ass
why dont you go marry wolf child, d?
Im sorry but I was having trouble breathing with how stupidly funny they are..
It does say “unforgettably stupid humour” clearly at the top of the page… I can laugh at stupid male jokes taking the piss out of us, so if you cant laugh n take offence to this then I think you should start reading the back of cerial box’s or some shit..
Chris, please refrain from correcting others until you can spell cereal without mistakes. Thank you.
Funny joke! I guess now we know enough about the writer to say that he is not the kind of person that that a sane woman would want to marry, much less date.
not funny, more like discusting.
West Side Story the comment is directed for people like yourself who would seem to be better suited reading the paper instead of comical blogs..
WHO CARES IF ANYONE WANTS TO DATE THE WRITER..
The word ‘cerial’ is a new word related to comedy (Cerial Kiler Joke).
No ones writing a thesis here
Thank you for the spelling lesson when you cant even write a paragraph that makes sense. “the kind of person that that a sane woman “..???