How To Impress A Woman


Let’s face it. Men don’t know anything about women. We sometimes claim to, but they’re so damn complicated there’s no telling what they’re thinking or what they want. With the help of a large pool of people (however many would fit in the shallow end), we answer the age old question of how to a impress a woman (the man part was thrown in for good measure).

How to Impress A Woman

  • Wine her.
  • Dine her.
  • Call her.
  • Hold her.
  • Surprise her.
  • Compliment her,
  • Smile at her.
  • Listen to her.
  • Laugh with her.
  • Cry with her.
  • Romance her.
  • Encourage her.
  • Believe in her.
  • Pray with her.
  • Pray for her.
  • Respect her.
  • Honour her.
  • Cuddle her.
  • Shop with her.
  • Give her jewellery.
  • Give her flowers.
  • Kiss her.
  • Caress her.
  • Love her.
  • Stroke her.
  • Tease her.
  • Comfort her.
  • Protect her.
  • Hug her.
  • Spend money on her.
  • Buy things for her.
  • Care for her.
  • Stand by her.
  • Support her.
  • Hold her hand.
  • Write love letters to her.
  • Go to the ends of the Earth and back again for her.

How To Impress A Man

  • Show up naked.
  • Bring chicken wings.
  • Don’t block the TV.

What'd You Think?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, average: 3.86 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...


How To Impress A Woman was written by F&J Staff on Monday, August 13th, 2007 at 10:07 am. It was filed under Female Jokes, Jokes, One Liner Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the Comments RSS feed. You may also be interested in reading , Girls Love Flowers, A Real Woman, I’m Glad I’m A Woman, Top Male Occupations, Never Argue With A Woman.


9 Responses to “How To Impress A Woman”

  1. 9
    Lauren Says:
    November 24th, 2007 at 4:52 am

    Wow, all I want is a guy to have a beer ready for me as soon as I get home from work :)

  2. 8
    teehee Says:
    November 12th, 2007 at 9:01 pm

    thats kinda sexist but still funny :D its not that bad though :D

  3. 7
    Beniam Says:
    October 2nd, 2007 at 11:14 pm

    Dissecting humor was like dissecting a frog—you can do it, but when you’re done, both the joke and the frog are dead.

  4. 6
    Creative Name Says:
    September 29th, 2007 at 11:32 pm

    Personality, intelligence, some looks, and warm brownies, all I ask for.

  5. 5
    mr. man Says:
    September 25th, 2007 at 6:28 pm

    in another joke, it said that men were sexists here, boy aren’t women hypocrites.

  6. 4
    box Says:
    September 18th, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    do i have to BUY the things i get for her. :~)

  7. 3
    ...|... Says:
    August 15th, 2007 at 2:37 am

    well… if one were to really only need those three things, it REALLY helps if the woman ain’t ugly. nobody likes the “OMG, put a bag over your head! …nevermind, put a bag over MY head!” yeah. if the lady is to show up naked, as it says, she has to be visually appealing. but then, who ever said that those three things were really all there is to it? a personality helps, and personally, i don’t like to watch TV that much.

  8. 2
    hailey Says:
    August 14th, 2007 at 10:22 am

    also if there is only 3 things, why is it so hard 2 please a man

  9. 1
    hailey Says:
    August 14th, 2007 at 10:21 am

    all true

Leave a Reply