Hanging Around

Two older, suburban, homosexual gentlemen had been living together for a couple of years and were getting really bored with their lives. They were looking at some trinkets at a garage sale in another neighborhood, when one of them (Jimmy) stumbled upon what appeared to be a rare find.

“Look George, I just found the most fabulous…pot, or, I dont know what it is! It’s pretty filthy, but I bet it would look great in our living room!”

George agreed, and they purchased the trinket. Apparently, the holder of the sale had no idea just how valuable a thing he had on his hands, because he sold it for just 5 dollars.

Later that night, Scott decides he wants to dust off this old thing. To his surprise, what he thought was an old piece of pottery was in fact made of what appeared to be solid gold!

“Honey, come here!” he yelled.

George came running, and Jimmy continued to polish, until POOF!- A huge creature appears in their living room! Both men screamed like little girls.

“Do not be frightened!” The creature says. “I am the genie of the lamp, and you have freed me from 10,000 years imprisonment by an evil sorceress. I will grant the two of you a total of three wishes as a reward!”

The two gay homosexuals take some time to gather themselves. They stare blankly at the genie, at each other, and at the lamp for several minutes. Finally, George says, “Do we have to give all three now?” “Very well,” the genie replies. “You have three days in which to ask your wishes.” With that being said, the genie vanished.

The next day, the couple decided that they would each get one wish, and would pick the one together. They decided to first to ask for wealth. When they woke up the next day, Jimmy found that he had won $100 million in the lottery, and George discovered that he was a distant cousin of the Sultan of Brunei. The Sultan had just died, and left him $500 million bucks.

That same day Gimmy asked for beauty. When they awoke the next morning (in their fabulous new Beverly Hills Mansion), they were both gorgeous. George was a full 6 inches taller, looked twenty-five again, but was more beautiful than he had ever been at that or any age. Jimmy lost all his blemishes, 50 pounds, and looked like a cross between his old self and a GQ model.

Finally, it was George’s turn. Around midnight on the third day, Jimmy asked George what he was going to wish for. But George has ALWAYS been finicky. It once took him twelve hours just to decide whether to buy a pillow case in grape or aubergine.

“Hurry and think of something before its too late!” Jimmy said. George decided he needed time to think, so he went off to the veranda to ponder his most important decision.

Just that moment, Jimmy heard a loud banging at the door. “Who is it?” he says. “Open up boy! We gone kill you!!”, a southern-accented voice replies. Scott looks through the window and sees men in white hoods on horses burning crosses on his lawn.

“Honey! Honey! COME QUICK!!!! The KKK is outside our door!” George runs over.

“What in the world are THEY doing in the 90210 area code – I thought this place was liberal-well, I”ll call the police!” George says. But the phones are DEAD! The Klansmen had cut the lines!

“HONEY! WISH THEY WOULD GO AWAY! USE YOU LAST WISH TO MAKE THEM GO AWAY!” Jimmy screams.

“I can’t he replies, as he slumps to the floor, and the Klansmen begin knocking down the door.

“WHY NOT?!”

Jim paused and replied, “Because I ALREADY wished that we could be hung like black men.”


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