Golfing With A Hitman
Three friends were playing golf one beautiful Sunday morning, as usual, and they never missed a weekend. As one of them was about to take the first tee a guy, by himself, asked if he could join their flight. The friends looked at each other and figured "sure, why not," as they haven't played with anyone else in quite some time.
So they teed off and all four were getting along pretty well. Right about the turn, on the 9th hole, they were all chit chatting and getting to know one another. Curious, one of the friends asked the new guy what he did for a living and, funny enough, he told them he was a hitman. They all kind of laughed it off, and asked him again - this time seriously.
The stranger said "No really, I'm hitman. My gun is in my golf bag, I carry it everywhere I go. You can take a look if you don't believe me, I've never been dishonest."
So one of the guys in the group decided to take him up on the offer and, opening the bag, sure enough revealed a really nice rifle with huge scope mounted at the top. He got all excited about it. He said "WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look through it?"
"Sure," said the stranger.
So the man looked around for a second and said "HELL YEAH! You can! I can even see through my windows into my bedroom. There's my wife, naked. Sweet! Isn't she beautiful? WAIT! There's my next door neighbor! He's naked too! And he's in my room!"
This upset the golfer, terribly, so he asked the hitman how much he would charge for a hit. The hit man replied "It's $1000 every time I pull the trigger." The man said "$1000, ouch! Well, OK. I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't stand it. Then I want you to shoot my neighbor right in the crotch, for screwing around with my wife."
The hit man agrees, gears up and takes aim through the scope. He's looking for what has to be 10 minutes. The golfer begins to get impatient and asks the hitman what he's waiting for. The hitman replies kind of anxiously, "Just hold on a minute... I'm about to save you a thousand bucks!"
What'd You Think?
(450 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)
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*headdesk*
lmao!!!
hahaha
i dont get it… someone explain pleasee x
you need help………..but who am i to talk
The wife is blowing the neighbor dumbass!
I needed an explanation… thanx Erica!
lmao dumb ass shes blowing him (blow job) (pogo to the mouth) lol how could you not get it
wow you really didn’t get it
surprised you haven’t died from forgetting to breathe
omg thats ……… Interestingg …. not too good coz its too loonnggg …. ZZZzzzZZZzzz… ..
that was not so funny
i think that was the best joke on this whole site
it is a good one jajajahahahajajajahahahahajajajahaha
funny but heard it many times
i pee on that joke…huh..savin a grand…sucker
She is blowing the man AMmy if you dont get it
this joke was good but larry the cable guy tells a funnier one where the two friends are hunting and one of them sees the guy’s house thru his scope. and there’s no hitman either.
LOLZ
i hate it!
she’s sucking his u know what and he’s gonna shoot her mouth so he gets his crotch and her mouth, get it now Amyy x?
well its not that funny.not impressed bt the idea was good
it was funny as hell if you were smart you will get it.
You could pretty much see what the joke was leading up to by the time he listed what parts of their bodies he wanted shot.
this sux!
she’s giving him a blow job.
i’m pretty sure amy gets it now.
You’re not a ‘dumbass’ Amy, but the people who called you one are; it took courage to admit you didn’t get it.
Keep being who you are and don’t let the rude and ignorant get to you.
heard about it b4. not bad though.
lol. If a joke isn’t offensive, then it’s not worth the trouble.
Halllarrrayioussssssslllyyyyy Funnnnnnyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!
that must of been a real good hitman!!!!
damn am laughin like ….
i like the other version better more to the point and more shock factor
lol this ones great. Actually made me laugh out loud which doesnt happen often :p
Ha ha AMyy x You are sweet… People are dumb but you just made it sound innocent so… ily. =)
Not really funny coz blowjobs r great FUN, not FUNNY
Sina, that’s nasty. I didn’t get it either, it wasn’t the most obvious joke. Stop being a bitch and calling people dumbasses for no reason
Lol.
Lol, super gross
hahahahhahahahahha…superstuff!
You cant call someone a dumb ass just because they dont understand. you have to realise that good portion of these posts are from people under the age of 16. Kids never understand everything.
that was dumb…. and I didn’t get it :s